I know that only I can answer that question myself, but I think some advice from everyone on this forum that might be able to relate could help too. I have no idea which section of the forum to post this in, so I'm just posting it here. Sorry mods if I got it wrong!! Feel free to move it.

I posted on here a month or so ago that I was having troubles with my gender identity, and that I thought it was just me obsessing and making something out of nothing. Since then I have thought about it a LOT and figured out where the feelings/concerns were coming from to begin with. I needed to actually accept the fact that I was having these feelings in order for me to be able to actually pin-point what they are instead of just denying they were there even though I was feeling them. I think this was because I was TERRIFIED of having to go through the whole coming out thing again, but for something even less accepted by society. So let me finally get to explaining these feelings:

Let me start by saying I'm pretty sure my gender identity is male. I am a gay male, and I feel very comfortable saying that. I am comfortable with my male physique and actually wish I was a bit more buff/toned. When I picture myself living my life ten years from now, I picture myself as a man living in a big city who is working on becoming successful at his career, and that feels very comfortable.

However, when it comes to my gender expression things get funky. I love wearing men's clothing. I would honestly consider myself very stylish because I love it so much. But I love the way that women's clothing looks too. For example, today I was watching friends, and I could stop staring at Jennifer Aniston in her cool little tube top, with her awesome hair and makeup. I get mad that I can't wear that or have that haircut while still being considered a man because I like the way it looks so much. I also get mad that it wouldn't look as good on me as it does on her because I have a man's body. However, I wouldn't want to change into a woman and disown all my male clothes, physique, hairstyle, and life style just because I want to wear that tube top and have that hairstyle.

I honestly feel as though I wish I had a switch that just let me change myself from the perfect male body to the perfect female body and I could do it whenever I wanted so I could still lead the life of a man when I needed/wanted to.

I'm really conflicted as to what this means for me. Is it even possible to have these conflicting feelings at the same time? What does everyone think?

Have you thought about becoming a drag queen?

I have no idea of how common it is, but I don't think it'S actually rare. There are many intermediate solutions for people with mixed or relatively minor cross-gender feelings like you.

If I understand well, your concerns are mainly aesthetical. In that case, cross-dressing at times or even going all-out, if you're an extraverted person, with making yourself a drag-queen in clubs at night. Drag-queens are mostly people who live fully as male and enjoy their life, but also enjoy spicing up their lives with a short-term, major change of look every club night.

You shouldn't worry all that much about looks: with their efforts, judicious clothes changes, heavy make-up and generally slim bodies, many drag-queens, even though they are obviously male with their voice, Adam's apple, wig and mannerisms, manage to otherwise look great (and sometimes take pride in mindf---ing straight men, which must be a funny thing to see, actually).

If I read you wrong and your concerns are deeper than looks, but you are honest about your wish to be male AND female, then you might want to go for a more serious process. You could get HRT but retain your genitals. You could get just an androgen blocker to make you feel a little more female. You could go for an androgynous lifestyle, in which you wouldn't feel too male or female. You could be blunt and go for a queer mix, with high heels, ribbons, beard and macho-man jewelry. You could also live two lives, which some transsexuals incidentally do because of work difficulties, but willingly: working as a neat, necktie man in the day, but getting a dress and a wig in the evenings.

There is a large spectrum of possibilities for you; I am sure.

But whatever the case may be, I think seeing a gender therapist or psychologist would be a great help, especially since you don't exactly have a typical case. Sorting all that out will be the first step to feeling better.

Thank you guys for such quick replies! Especially this late, its 1am where I live haha. I'm a night owl. 

I think the closest thing that might make me happy is dressing in drag sometimes. I love living as a man, enjoying having male friends, and sleeping with gay men. I know someone who is a really popular drag queen in the area, and actually once when I was hanging out with him I saw a straight man and his friends get "mind f---ed" like you said. He was pretty ignorant and mean once he became embarrassed, but it was still funny none the less.

The thing is, not dressing in drag isn't really causing me too much discomfort now that I know what to attribute my gender-confusion-related feelings to. I think I'm just going to give it time, maybe see a gender therapist, and just try and see what time holds for me and my gender expression!

What I really need to figure out is how far my attraction to women's clothing extends. Do I just REALLY like the way they look? Or do I actually want to dress up in it and go out sometimes? I just need time to decipher my feelings and figure out what I really want.

seems you are adrogynous and/or bigender, do not sweat over, just enjoy walking both sides of the fence