I start every day the same way.  I take a shower.  Shave my face.  Every few days I either shave my legs or underarms and just about everywhere else.  I put on a bra and panties.  A little moisturizer on my face and just a tiny bit of perfume on my wrist (just enough that I can put it to my nose and get a whiff but not enough that it smells like I'm wearing perfume).  I'm feeling pretty feminine.  Then I cover it all up with bulky male clothes and go to work.

It seems to me that it's a totally insane way to live.  It's crazy right?  Yet I know a least being feminine underneath it all makes me happy or at least satisfies some need for the time being.  God I really am nuts!

Quote from: JulieC. on April 01, 2012, 01:49:38 PM
It seems to me that it's a totally insane way to live.  It's crazy right? ..........  God I really am nuts!

Hi Julie,
Seems quite normal to me. I don't think it's crazy in any way, shape or form. I don't think you are anywhere close to being nuts either.

Sounds like "compromise" to me. Which is totally acceptable in any language. Thing is, it's what gives you peace of mind, allowing you to cope with the rest of life's little stresses. I think you are doing quite fine.

In fact my male alter-ego did that for the past 10 years or so. It wasn't until about 2 years ago, when I developed a large set of 'A' cup breasts through a herbal pathway that I just had to say, "Enough is enough." You can't have "both" And I knew which 'one' had to go. So! in about 87 odd weeks 'one' is going to be put back where it belongs. It's called the inversion technique.

that was a simple compromise that got me through those hard years. Enjoy and embrace yourself.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

About as insane as I am I guess

We're all mad here said the cat. Here being earth as a whole. We all have weird things we do for what ever reason to keep us going, but knowing why you do it and admitting to it. That's what puts you ahead of all the rest 

We're all there.

A cisperson once asked me why I work so hard (to transition) and my answer was so I can relax. Yep. At least you aren't alone.

Modern western society is a crazy place. A Fetish is a tried and true form of self therapy. It helps soothe the feeings of anxiety from living in a society of such anti-pathy.

When you go full-time it is no longer relaxing but a fight for survival even harder than the existance which saw you looking to cross-dressing for comfort.

The exceptions to this are if you are on a pension, completely passable or stunning and charismatic and outgoing to a point where people have no choice but to accept you.It's still a fight for the last option, but you are up for it.

Ftms have a lot more chance of being passable but i don't know how they deal with all the terror that is thrown at good looking males in this universe.

I think you're making some generalizations.

I am full time, and it's made my life much easier. I'm transitioning on the job, at church, everywhere. I'm not completely passable or stunning in anyway, and I get called "miss" and "ma'am" everywhere I go. I figure it's part passing and part people humoring the presentation.

Of the FTMs I know personally (through church and/or the Transgender Parents Support Group), none are living as butch lesbians. They are living as the straight men that they are. If that's how they identify themselves, who can say otherwise?