I am as guilty as anyone else. I too have used the term "man in a dress", but I have used it to express how I do NOT want others to see ME. It never occurred to me that other people here would take it as a slight against themselves

Sorry Devlyn ...

It seems to me that both Tekla and Felix are right in certain ways.

To me, there is just a certain amount of respect that is due to persons simply because they are human beings. While I don't always succeed in showing this respect, I do make an effort. I feel that this is where basic manners and politeness figures into the equation.

Then there is the respect (or disrespect) that persons "earn" as a result of the external factors that Tekla mentioned. For instance, I have a great deal of respect for my Zen teacher that goes beyond basic human respect. (Of course, that in and of itself probably goes against some of the ideas behind Zen, but that's a topic for a different thread.) There are others whom I feel this extra respect for based what they've do or what they do for those around them.

Beverley, I'm not offended. I'm trying to stand up for every persons right to be themselves here without being used as whipstock. Sadly, I am armed with poor communications skills and a cellphone that limits my post length, so I frequently fail to get my point across. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Connie Anne on April 07, 2012, 10:10:57 AM
To me, there is just a certain amount of respect that is due to persons simply because they are human beings. While I don't always succeed in showing this respect, I do make an effort. I feel that this is where basic manners and politeness figures into the equation.

No one is perfect, we will all sometimes phrase things badly and unintentionally offend others.  I'm sure I've done it a few times and I apologize to anyone that I have hurt unknowingly.

I would expand on this and say that Devyln has EARNED respect.  Off the top of my head I can't remember ANY hostile comments and I have seen several very positive comments.  Devyln seems to be genuinely trying to help and deserves respect for that.  Thank you for all you have done for this community.

In contrast some of the users that promote the elitism and insulting of those not like them have actually earned my DISrespect.  Some of those are even on my ignore list, but that is more a failure on my part than them.  I feel that I cannot eloquently enough express the opinion that is needed to let them see the other side of the coin and understand the point I am trying to make so I have stopped looking at their posts because I don't waste their time and generate a hostile environment for others with attempts that are clearly not sufficient.

Yes, to me too, there is common respect or stranger respect as I often like to call it. That is granted just because they are another living being. And really, I try to respect everyone, but there are some that get a higher level of respect based on admiration and that's a bit more than common respect.

"Off  the top of my head I can't remember any hostile comments." Well played Jeneva! Out of professional courtesy I will now wait while the Staff replaces their coffee, tea, or adult beverage soaked keyboards. I am guilty of posting vile, irresponsible things too. Padma calls them strafing runs. So I apologize to anyone I've offended. Especially the circus performers. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 10:32:36 PM
I think a lot of the condescension is created by interpretation on the receiving end, even if it wasn't intended.

For example, the taboo " ->-bleeped-<-" word. There are actually people who self-identify as  ->-bleeped-<-cs. But if you say the word for any reason even if you're not talking about anyone specific, or even if you're talking about a person who actually identifies as an  ->-bleeped-<-c, people freak out and call you elitist and hateful because the existence of  ->-bleeped-<- bugs them.

A lot of people here get easily offended for a lot of reasons that may have not even been intended to offend.

I don't think those groups are talked about like circus freaks that often? I see people say here all the time that there's nothing wrong with being a DQ or DK.

  Yeah I agree, people get offended very easily and most of the time it's over something silly. This is the internet so I just take whats said with a grain of salt.

  I don't wanna get completely off topic but regarding the  ->-bleeped-<- thing yeah i've noticed that too. I think people on here freak out over it because they themselves fit into the ->-bleeped-<- mold and that makes them feel like a ->-bleeped-<- rather then a transsexual. What I don't like about Blanchard's theory is that he makes both sides HST & ->-bleeped-<- look like sexual perverts.

  I've also noticed former homosexual men now straight trans women aren't really as welcomed here on Susan's as lesbian trans women are. Drag queens & drag kings are another touche subject.
  People who take pride in their looks are kinda shunned as well and I don't understand why??? 

  And If you say anything about the above you're smited/reported and put on a watch list or banned. Elitism?

     

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 10:32:36 PM

A lot of people here get easily offended for a lot of reasons that may have not even been intended to offend.

This is why I try to use open-ended words....maybe, could of, perhaps, in my opinion, I speak only for myself, can, etc.

Quote from: MacKenzie on April 07, 2012, 07:27:57 PM
  I've also noticed former homosexual men now straight trans women aren't really as welcomed here on Susan's as lesbian trans women are. Drag queens & drag kings are another touche subject.
  People who take pride in their looks are kinda shunned as well and I don't understand why??? 

Not at all, what gets people upset is when someone says that I am more trans than you because I'm straight or I'm prettier or I take more pride in their looks.

Have you not noticed that some of the posters against that judgement in those threads ARE straight or do take pride in their appearance?  I actually do have a feminine voice, but I argued AGAINST making voice a criteria for transness in the fairly recent voice thread.  I agree that we should, but if someone doesn't that doesn't give you the right to deny their life experiences.

It all boils down to no one should be allowed to label someone against their will.  If you support ->-bleeped-<-/HSTS then you are saying that we are one or the other.  Even though my narrative fits the HSTS except for one thing, that one thing (loving women) makes me ->-bleeped-<-.

You don't get to judge others.  And all these comments like "well that is just how women are" are nonsense.  It isn't all women who are like that, but rather it is shallow egotistical bitches.  And guess what?  A lot of us don't associate with people like that in our daily lives ON PURPOSE!

Quote from: Jeneva on April 07, 2012, 07:56:12 PM
Not at all, what gets people upset is when someone says that I am more trans than you because I'm straight or I'm prettier or I take more pride in their looks.

  I don't see anyone insinuating that they're ->-bleeped-<-r then thou because of sexual preference or because they take pride in their looks.

  I think your delusional. 

Quote from: MacKenzie on April 07, 2012, 08:04:33 PM
  I don't see anyone insinuating that they're ->-bleeped-<-r then thou because of sexual preference or because they take pride in their looks.

  I think your delusional. 

HSTS or "true" transsexuals vs ->-bleeped-<-

Sexual preference determines HSTS vs ->-bleeped-<-

Then yes if you support HSTS/->-bleeped-<- you are saying that a straight transwoman is a true transsexual, but a lesbian transwoman is not really a true transsexual.

That is plain simple fact and is not a delusion.

Quote from: Jeneva on April 07, 2012, 08:14:36 PM
HSTS or "true" transsexuals vs ->-bleeped-<-

Sexual preference determines HSTS vs ->-bleeped-<-

Then yes if you support HSTS/->-bleeped-<- you are saying that a straight transwoman is a true transsexual, but a lesbian transwoman is not really a true transsexual.

That is plain simple fact and is not a delusion.

  This is the point I was trying to make about people getting all worked up over nothing, if you want the last word you can have it...

Just play nice, kids.

Don't deliberately try to offend anyone.

Don't take offense if there's even a remote chance the person didn't mean it that way. (If you think they did, report it. No sense in getting a case of "Net Rage")

Share...experiences, knowledge, opinions. And as we expect those to be true, please allow that other's EKO's are true, in as much as presented.

Now, shall I make some lemonade for everyone?

sexual perverts is a term boring people invented to describe interesting people

Hello. kiddies. In order to stop childish squabbling, may I remind every one of Rule 10?

10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.  This includes but is not limited to:

    Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
    Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real
    than any others

No one's life experience, be it autogynephillic, gender-identity related, DQ, CD, DK, GF, gender queer, is any more or less valid than anyone else's.

"->-bleeped-<-r than thou" is not only meaningless, it is immature and moronic.

Robyn the Elder