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Support and Hate from unexpected places

Started by Kyyn, April 09, 2012, 12:20:47 AM

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Kyyn

When I first started transition (currently in the crossdressing and pronoun stage and taking it slow) I thought I knew exactly who I could count on and who I was worried about..
And I couldnt have been more wrong! The most prominent examples being my boyfriend and my brother.

My twin brother has been there for me through my life. We shared everything... except this. I never told him cause I didn't want him to know how jealous I was that his body was right and mine was turning out all monged. When I came out, I was confident that my brother would be by my side, just like always... but he was the first to call me a freak. The first to accuse me of doing this for attention. The first to cut me down and yell at me and tell me I was ruining my life with this stupid "phase". It hurt so much that I fled the apartment we share.

On the other hand, my STRAIGHT cismale boyfriend has been my biggest supporter. He uses female pronouns, but he's fine letting me dress the way I want and encouraged getting a male/punk hair cut. He says that I'm the only person on earth he'd be gay for - he just wants me to be happy. And he's always saying things like "What can I do to make you feel more like a guy?".
Being Tmale and gay, I thought he would leave me and it would be hell to find someone else - but the fact he wanted to stay continues to amaze me. I really lucked out with this amazing man.

Has anyone else found Support/Hate in the strangest places?
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justmeinoz

Congratulations on finding such a wonderful guy. ( Says a confirmed dyke yet!)

I found the people I used to work with to all  be supportive, including the Head Pathologist, despite his generally cynical attitude to pretty much anything and anyone.  Misanthrope rather than Misogynist.  Yet he treated me as Karen virtually the first moment he met her. G***** was completely forgotten.  My family have all been great, although Mum is getting on a bit and sometimes has trouble remembering names and pronouns.

My son on the other hand has real issues having a Trans parent.  Which really disappoints me as he is FtM and I supported him 110% in his transition.  Typical reaction to a parent doing anything at all different I guess. I can outwait him.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Felix

My cis and hetero boyfriend was my biggest support too. I worried that he'd be squicked out but he was incredibly accepting and helpful.

The next two people I came out to were my gynecologist and a former lit professor who was pretty heavy into feminism and women's studies. I thought they would be good people to talk to about it, but the doctor was abusive and the lit professor accused me of changing myself when I should be changing society.

My kid is okay. She's young and thinks I hung the moon, and she doesn't understand why everybody makes a big deal out of all this. Lol she has never once slipped up on pronouns that I'm aware of, which I can't even claim for myself. :laugh:

Her classmates are gossipy about it and some have some derisive opinions, but that's not unexpected.
everybody's house is haunted
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Cindy

Everyone so far has been fine. Which has been a rather big surprise. I go out regularly to a straight hotel/restaurant which has live music in another room. I usually go and listed for a while, nearly every time people invite me to sit with them rather than I sitting alone.  I've never met them before, awesome
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Edge

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. That must be rough. But congrats on your boyfriend! That's awesome!
Silly lit professor. Being yourself is not the same as changing yourself. Besides, who says men can't change society?
I only came out as genderfluid to a couple people, but I was surprised by the responses. My former therapist didn't understand what I meant by gender, but she was very accepting. My mom was like Felix's lit professor at first until I reminded her of who I am. My friends who claim to be open minded, however, just ignore it on the grounds that "it doesn't matter." They somehow think they are being understanding by acting like a part of me doesn't matter. (I'm of the opinion that all of me matters and that opinion is not about to change no matter how many people try to convince me otherwise.)
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justmeinoz

Well Edge, it's like they say, Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.
As I have said here before, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. >:-)
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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