I'm not exactly sure how many of you know my story. (probably not many.) and I'm currently at a crossroads as to what to do and only have a few months left to do it in.

Most as many of you I've been trans all my life and have always wanted to transition but due to family, religion, finances, and doubts, I've never pursued it. Until the last few years. Before I went into the military I met a wonderful person whom became a wonderful and supportive friend. We got married shortly after I got to my first post and I found out she supported my TG because she was also TG. *FTM* but like me never had pursued it. Once he encouraged it It was like every discipline I've developed over the years to be able to live with my male self fell and I had desired to transition and have been seeking it out since.

A few nights ago, my and my mate had a long talk and he stated that I've been too obsessive and we had other things we wanted to do, our own business, a farm or ranch, things that will take a lot of money as well. Mostly the way he was talking was that transitioning will never be feasible. The VA would cover my therapy and melds and once I start this new job I believe the insurance will cover his. However, his chest work my FFS and hair work will be on us. Thing is our credit is crap and right now we have very limited funds. We've had to default on pretty much every bill we owe just to survive. (which is why I am hopeful this job will come thru soon. But back to my issue,

I am trying 5to decide should I just accept my fate and live the rest of my life as the person I'm not, or should I try to at least get most of everything done except for the srs. I'm not sure if I can live without the final piece of the puzzle but I am contemplating it severely. Just the idea of always having the "M" on my documents just erks me to no end. Any thoughts, opinions, threats, would be greatly appreciated it.

sounds like everything is falling into place for you two, well except for the moolah
for my hairs I painfully pluck them off my face, I would love ffs in the future so I have a savings account I don't touch. (bleh)

I like reading your story. ~Fate~

A step at a time dear - confusion easily may reign supreme, with God knows how many other "projects" like farms and what not...

Projects can be good the take one's mind of for a while at least, like one female (ex mate) once told me at the start of transition: "Have a beer and read a good book..." Yeah right. In the end if you are TS, you are, - and it will get only worse (GID) with age. Most would agree to THAT.

In any case you need to see a therapist first before you start running before the wind. It will give you an opportunity to re-examine your situation, as in ARE you TS, or are there OTHER issues more pressing in need of attention in the first place.

Depending on these outcomes ONLY, aught you go and figure out your next steps, like RLE, HRT, SRS, BA, FFS, and so on.
In many a case HRT will do just fine... - in one like mine... it did not.
Just don't make the MISTAKE to go for all sorts of feminisation surgery and then cop out at SRS.
It will be guarantied to mess you up. My finding, my opinion, others may disagree, fine by me too. Every one to his/her own...

Axélle

Well, you're not the only one with financial troubles, so you can at least find some comfort in knowing some of us are in the same boat.  It irks me to no end that there's a cheap and well-reviewed laser clinic so close to me, but I just can't afford anything beyond survival.  I have insurance, but can't afford the co-pay on therapy or hormones.  Hell, I'm still trying to save up money to file bankruptcy (it's very expensive to legally claim that you have no money).  You just have to figure out what you can do.  You could probably go thrift shopping every now and then, get a couple of outfits for something like $10.  You can probably buy some crappy makeup.  It's not great, but a lot of women get stuck in bad situations.  It doesn't mean you have to be untrue to who you are.  I don't look good, but I'm out there, living my life the best I can. 

Anyway, you never know when you might find a major improvement to your living situation!  It might be bad for now, but it could be great later!

As far as the dreaded "M" and the inane rules barring us from getting it changed without GCS, it's another situation where you just don't know what the future holds.  Maybe you'll be able to afford the surgery in a few years.  Maybe they'll change the rules, recognizing that a lot of us women can't just come up with that kind of money.

I hope things go well for you!

It doesn't take a lot of money to start living full time. It doesn't require hormones, therapy, laser treatments or surgery. It does take a lot of nerve, self confidence and the right attitude.

I lived full time for about 3 years before I started doing any of this stuff. Some drug store/ebay makeup, a few outfits at the thrift store and depending on what your hair looks like maybe a >$100 wig that's really all it takes, other than just doing it! Are you going to win a beauty contest? Nope but what is important in you life?

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on April 09, 2012, 10:52:11 AM

Just don't make the MISTAKE to go for all sorts of feminisation surgery and then cop out at SRS.
It will be guarantied to mess you up. My finding, my opinion, others may disagree, fine by me too. Every one to his/her own...

Axélle

Excuse me? Did you just say what I think you did?

That if someone chooses to NOT have GRS but instead wants to have some FFS or other "feminisation surgery and then cop out at SRS" that will "be guarantied to mess you up".

Unreal....

And I'm sorry but putting a disclaimer after something this INSULTING TO EVERY NO OP IN THE WORLD doesn't excuse this garbage you just posted.

Another big -1 for your comments on this forum.

Looking and fretting over EVERTHING that needs to get done, for any job, tends to be self defeating. You get totally overwhelmed by the scope of work and often wind up saying F it and throw in the towel.

I've often had to overcome monumental tasks with lots of moving pieces, plenty of unknowns, and even more plain old grunt work. What I found works best, after you have a fairly clear idea of what first needs to get done, is to start chipping away at it. Before you realize it, it's done.

Like Stephe said, transitioning can cost as little as $50 and the gas to get to a thrift store to buy clothes (assuming you have none now). All the rest is nice, but totally unnecessary to be true to yourself and happier about living. In time, as finances allow, you can build on what was started.