I was full-time for a year. Actually, I was in a pretty happy and androgynous place for several years. I had to detransition and cut my hair for the job I have now. It really sucks, but honestly, I don't look in the mirror all that often. I feel a whole lot better being able to support myself and actually plan for the future. I mean, it was
wonderful living as a woman, but the whole rest of my world was a wreck. I can postpone that until I find a trans-friendly employer.
Financial stability is
so important. I've been to a lot of support groups, and there are a lot of unemployed trans people. I listened to a couple episodes of the Trans-Ponder podcast this week, and that seems to come up a lot that the average TG person is broke.
Our TG issues can be directly responsible for other depression/sanity/relationship/family problems, so we need to deal with them, but getting your life in order to the point that you can support yourself is more important than transitioning.
Maybe other people have actually been in a "transition or die" state where they were so overwhelmed by the need to transition that it was more important than getting the rest of their life together, but it sounds a bit delusional to me. Life can be tough. I've been in the position that I had to get away from an abusive relationship or die. I've been in the position that I had to get a job or die. I've been depressed about trans issues, but I've never felt like I had to be accepted as the gender I wish to express myself as or die. Maybe the thought crossed my mind, but I'm sure there were other issues combining with that to make me suicidal. If you think transitioning is going to magically fix the rest of your life then you're wrong, and you may be using the obsession with your gender issues as a distraction like I was.
Money might not directly buy happiness, but it can fix just about any stress in your life. Transitioning will put you in a much better place inside, but it can actually hurt your financial situation quite a bit -- in terms of both the cost of transition and employment during and after transition.
Of course, I'm just talking about the difference between being indigent and being able to afford a crappy apartment. I've seen a lot of people put off transition basically indefinitely for all kinds of excuses. You need a plan that involves transition and you need to stick to it. Don't be that person putting it off and feeling sorry for yourself.
Being financially dependent on other people messes you up. You lose your self-esteem. You tolerate abuse. You can even resent the people who do help you.
Quote from: Janet_Girl on January 30, 2010, 03:08:44 PM
I am unemployed. I live on Unemployment and it is tough. But I have finally gotten things in line to begin electrolysis. It won't be easy but it is a start, or rather a restart.
People might look at this and say your need to rethink your priorities. A few years ago I was on unemployment and still spending my money on laser/electrolysis. If your goal is transition then it really helps to be doing something that makes you feel like you're progressing down that path. It's probably better to get therapy, but when I was on unemployment I could barely afford laser, and I really couldn't afford therapy.