Tonight my mother in law had to come pick me up from work because my wife had to take her sister home from somewhere. Anyways on my way home from work my wife's mom sparked up a conversation about her taking hormones. She asked me are you sure she wants to go through with this? I said yes and she than said to me well your her wife you have a say in it. I told her yeah well I support her in every way and love her very much... I wanted to chew her mom out soooooo bad it hurt me. I guess when it really comes down to it I was afraid to speak up to my mother in law and now I feel bad and guilty for not saying more. I feel like I've let my wife down big time...

I don't have a lot of experience, but I guess what I would say is don't be angry. A lot of people are ignorant to this situation. She is probably having some defensive motherly reactions, but I would just suggest being kind, and loving no matter what because love will always win.

It sounds like you put your point of view without any anger, so it sounds like a good effort to me.  Some people are beyond reason I'm afraid.  Despite her own issues over this, she has got to realise that it is not her life she is commenting on, and basically shut up. 
I think you did good darl. 

Karen.

Agreed. It sounds from what you said like she was hoping you would say something else. You did say what you felt, and often that's enough.

'Chewing someone out' as you put it, is often nowhere near as effective as saying what you want to say quietly, with conviction and in a heartfelt way. It has far more impact. You didn't let your wife down by saying you support her in every way and you love her very much. I mean really, what else needs to be said? If anything, you did her proud hon. *hug*

People are going to think whatever they want, my MIL swore that my wife was killing her and we were hurting our kids.  She came around, kinda. My Brother in law completely disowned us. There is not a lot you can do to change anyones mind except support and love your wife and when the crap starts flying become her advocate.

See when her fam or somebody talks crap about her when she isn't around I hate to tell my wife because it will bring back bad memmories of her childhood and get very emotional.... Me and her have more in common than we thought. Like we both had bad childhoods mine I spent getting physically abused by my step dad... I couldn't have met my wife at a better time, my step dads trial was getting under way finally after 2 years and I was the victim so I had to testify, my wife couldn't be at the trial due to her work schedule but every time I got upset and walked out of the court room I called her and she calmed me down... see I love her fam also so much because they have been there more than my own mom... I just hate when she makes rude comments all the time I am just afraid next time I will snap...