This is something that I discussed with my therapist recently. When I do become a woman and or start living full time, will my purpose in life be changed. Has this happened  to anyone else when they started and how has it changed your life?

Gina

Well...I suppose some of that depends on what your purpose in life is currently.    If you're purpose in life is to transition, well, when you do transition I would imagine you'd need another purpose since you've completed the first.

Myself, I just take everything one step at a time.  Before I went back to school, my purpose was getting back into school. I literally cried and fell into a depression each time fall rolled around and I was not enrolled for classes (yeah, I know I'm a weirdo!) Last year I swore that if I were not enrolled in school for the following year I was going to die. So....I'm in school this year....my new purpose is graduate (I know, irony much?) with the best grades possible. After that, well I guess it'll be my career.

These aren't my only purposes and goals in life, I have some other majors ones and some really not major ones. Like I simply cannot die until I read the 7th Harry Potter book. God, I'm a geek! 

Dear Gina,

I read a great post by someone that stated that transition is just a road traveled on their journey in life. (Their prose was better but that was the message.)

I do not find transition my purpose but rather something I need to deal with one of these days.

Concurrently I am trying to find purpose in my life and I know that purpose will be different from transition.

I fully expect you will find something that gives you satisfaction.  You might be a teacher or business owner or something that occupies your day and gives your life meaning.  It does not have to be different from what you wanted to do before transition.

W

It's an important point that your therapist raises. For so long it can seem that transition is an eternal present... but at some point, usually after surgery and when other treatments stop, you realise that this entire drama is just a means to an end, not the end in itself.

How did going through all this change my life? It freed me from self-destructive and circular thought-patterns and behaviours, and released a new-found lust for life; an energy now channelled into work, friends and other community activities.

And then at some indefinable point, you realise that you've forgotten that you're a transexual and yet, your life goes on. So be open to new opportunities and events and do things that you've always wanted to do because you'll be free in heart and motion.

Thanks for your thoughtful replies. In a way they were almost the same things that I told my therapist, like how I'd like to take things a day at a time without pushing myself into the unknown future too quickly without knowing what is ahead. But transitioning is high on my list, and I'm not sure when I'll be complete with it. He's told me some of the pitfalls or consequenses that I'll be facing, like the fact that my entire family is so much against it that I may lose them if I go through with it, but I don't want to wait till I'm older because I know who and what I am now and I need to do something about it now.

Thanks Wendy for your confendence in me. Like you've said, I don't really see much of what I do for a living as being much different from what I did before I transitioned, except that it will be seen through a different perspective.

Gina 

Quote from: Stormy Weather on April 03, 2007, 05:00:48 PM
It's an important point that your therapist raises. For so long it can seem that transition is an eternal present... but at some point, usually after surgery and when other treatments stop, you realise that this entire drama is just a means to an end, not the end in itself.

How did going through all this change my life? It freed me from self-destructive and circular thought-patterns and behaviours, and released a new-found lust for life; an energy now channelled into work, friends and other community activities.

And then at some indefinable point, you realise that you've forgotten that you're a transexual and yet, your life goes on. So be open to new opportunities and events and do things that you've always wanted to do because you'll be free in heart and motion.

Pretty much right on, Storm.

Transition is the doorway to the rest of your life, not a panacea or magic pill that makes everything a fairy tale.  It enables you.  It births you!

My purpose went from wishing for oblivion to roaring about changing the world for the better and taking precise action in doing so.  I don't think I've ever even heard of a change this dramatic.  I always knew it was inside of me before, but I didn't know how to release it.  When I stopped running and accepted who I was, it all came together.

We often know ourselves before we become ourselves, I find.

~ Blair

Quote from: gina_taylor on April 03, 2007, 03:46:27 PM
This is something that I discussed with my therapist recently. When I do become a woman and or start living full time, will my purpose in life be changed. Has this happened  to anyone else when they started and how has it changed your life?

Gina

Why should it change your purpose in life? I realize this is partly rhetorical, because many have to change directions because of their transistion, ie. losing their career or job(s), etc., but many do transistion on the job or integrate their transistion into their career. The last is the focus of mine with help from my therapist and physician. My priorities, which have come under criticism from some in the community, are, in order, my photography, my life - staying healthy and active, and my transistion, which has had setbacks for health reasons. But both agree with this plan, and aren't influenced by the free photo card sets I give them. They can't understand why I don't market them (working on that), which is my goal to be a good photographer first and (legal) woman second when I finish the transistion.

Good luck.

--Susan--

Transition is the doorway to the rest of your life, not a panacea or magic pill that makes everything a fairy tale.  It enables you.  It births you!

My purpose went from wishing for oblivion to roaring about changing the world for the better and taking precise action in doing so.  I don't think I've ever even heard of a change this dramatic.  I always knew it was inside of me before, but I didn't know how to release it.  When I stopped running and accepted who I was, it all came together.

We often know ourselves before we become ourselves, I find.

~ Blair
[/quote]

Very well put Blair.  I hope that my transition can be done effortlessly without any foreseen problems. I know that I'm going to lose a lot, but I am also going to gain a lot as well.  As for finding a purpose in my life, I am going to concentrate more on my writing career and see where it takes me. It's kind of nice to be a published author, but I'd like to build up my confidence and publish more.

Susan, this was something that my therapist had spoken with me about as well, and that is that right now I am working for my family and they are not very pleased with the direction that I've taken, so there is no chance of me transitioning and still keeping my job, even though I've been with the company for thirteen years. So my therapist told me that if I want to be a full time woman, than I may have to think outside of the box and consider another job.

Gina

Well, for me.....

I don't believe I even had a purpose before.  I was fairly successful in business and in life, but was without purpose or direction.  Today as a woman,  I feel that I do have a purpose, and I have new values that I didn't have before.  I don't know if I can adequately define my purpose in just a few paragraphs but I can tell you that it exists.

Pam
Hi Gina

Thank you for the nice PM regarding my response to your post.  I would have replied but there is no reply button or any way to reply that I could find.  I tried clicking on the little envelope icon to send you an email but I was told that I am not allowed to do that either.   I didn't want you to think me rude, so I decided to post my reply here.  A bit unorthodox, yes I know.  But I wanted to let you know that I got your message.  Thank you.

I guess I should feel privileged that I am allowed to post messages in the forum at all 

Pam

Hi Gina,
Transitioning, depending on luck or your own desires, can change things regarding your "purpose" or goals in life.  If you're in a job and they let you stay there and continue to respect you, your goals can essentially be similar to what they are now.  If you lose your job (or if things become too uncomfortable), then that will cause you to rethink your goals.

What I'm saying is that sometimes you decide the road and sometimes the road decides for you.  I saw an interesting documentary recently on PBS which cited various famous novels wherein the hero's path is one of trying to just stay above water.  They mentioned John Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath" as one of the best examples.  We all grew up with Ben Franklin's thinking that getting up early and hard work would make us "healthy, wealthy and wise."  The farmers in the dust bowl worked hard but nature and evil forces of society conspired against them to create difficult lives.  Steinbeck, in researching the book, saw migrant farmworker families in central California that were nearly starving.  They were willing to work hard but still they were near death.

Big cities can be the most cruel places because there are so many people that no one cares about YOU.  Contrarily, if you're in a minority, like TS's, small cities can NOTICE you more and that can be unpleasant, if not dangerous.  No path is certain of success.  A lot can depend on luck and a strong upbeat personality.

As a writer, Gina, the road to a new purpose seems, to me, like it could be a blank slate.  It offers freedom from having to interact with others unless you wish it.  It requires self-discipline, of course, because you are your own boss.  If you stare at the wall or watch TV or do any of 3 million other distractions, your "job" doesn't get done.  I once put a sign on my wall to motivate me to write:  "Be a doer."

In whatever future you choose, I think it's a good recipe.

Teri Anne

Very good point there Teri, but once I start something I usually get it finished within a lotted time. Sure I may stop to day dream or just stare at a blank wall, but I'll recollect my thoughts and get back to the task at hand, which would be my writing. Right now I'm working on two novels, and I should get them finished by June.

Thanks for your response Pam.

Gina 

In transitioning my "purpose" in life went from existance to living life. I went from the day to day existing in my own private hell, to being alive after I went fulltime, to living my life after srs. Yes there were bumps and mountains and even some mole hills in that journey. Which is an on-going journey of life/ self discovery. Goals change and people change in life. Srs was a goal, now there needs to be other goals to fulfill the places left open by the fulfillment or abandonment of goals.
Rashelle

I really like your philosophy Rashelle, and may apply it to my life once I start going full-time. Yeah, I do also realize that there will be many bumps and mountains and even mole hills to get over, but for my own peace of mind, it will be done.

If you'd like to send me a PM and tell me about your trials and tribuations, I'd appreciate hearing about them. It may give me something to avoid

Just last week I recieved an e-mail from a publisher who is considering publishing my second novel. I hope all goes well. I have so many people that have read my first book that are patiently waiting for a second.

Gina 

Quote from: gina_taylor on April 03, 2007, 03:46:27 PM
This is something that I discussed with my therapist recently. When I do become a woman and or start living full time, will my purpose in life be changed. Has this happened  to anyone else when they started and how has it changed your life?

Gina

Seems to me we've talked about this before.     What more can I say?  Everyone else has said it all.

I've often wondered if not for this spectre, how my life would be. Some months 90% of my thoughts are about it, other times, usually when I've got a lot of stuff to do, maybe 20%. Sad to say there's been a lot more of the first kind of months.

I'm finally finishing up my associate's degree next year, but I have no idea about a real major for a real degree or a real school to go to. No career has ever leaped out at me ever since I realized that computer programming is an awful, awful life that I don't want at all. I can't even look 1 years into the future, let alone 5 or 10.

It is, indeed, a great question to be asked. I guess ultimately what we want is security and happiness (well, that's what I want), defining those and finding the best paths to them is the trick.

Looking into myself at the moment, exercising the spectre is definitely the greatest step towards happiness. Finding a cure for loneliness, and having lots (enough) of money are the other two.

So there you go, easily defined goals that should be no problem to achieve! 

Hey Autumn, I hope that everything goes well with your schooling and that you're able to get your degrees. At least you're a step ahead of me there. I'm just a high school graduate.

Yestrerday, my mom posed a question to me that took me a little by surprise: If God could give me my life back, which is before my accident would I accept it? I thought about it for a moment and I told her no. I am comfortable with who and what I am right now, and she told me that I must be sick for wanting a life that I have taken on. She doesn't understand, and probably never will that I am at my happiest when I am a woman. 

I really appreciate all of your responses to my post, and it has given me a broader view on things.

BTW, I also received an e-mail from a publisher who is interested in publishing my second novel.

Gina 

I reaad some where that Our purpose inlive shoud be "just Be"  By just being the person you were created and meant to be is the loftiest purpose you could obtain.  We are each special and should not be identified by our "purpose in life" anymore than we should be by what sexual organs we have or don't have.  Of course having said all of that i think my purpose in life after transitioning will change simply because for the first time in my life I will be real.  maybe helping others like me.  But it does sound philosophical or something to jsut be.   

Mary

Hi Gina, long time no talk.
You are wondering how your purpose in life will change during and after Transition.  That can be a complicated discussion or one that is easily based in who you are.  Think about it, who are you in your deepest mindset and what goals are important to you?  It's really just that simple.  No matter what you do with your life, it is just that which determines what you do with whatever and whoever.

Do not worry about the details of what you will or won't do in life.  Simply do whatever is best, in your own mind, and there is no more you can do.  There will always be consiquences for your actions, so you must determine that you are doing the best you can do, or clear away from making such a decision, if you can do that.

Best to you Gina
Terri

I feel very blessed with how my life has played out. Even though my TG issues have taken over my life recently, I hope that I will find a way to affirm who I am and to continue on in my ministry. I don't want this to completely change my life. I want it to enrich my life and by so doing enrich the lives of those around me.

Debbie

Quote from: debbiej on April 22, 2007, 08:48:23 PM
I feel very blessed with how my life has played out. Even though my TG issues have taken over my life recently, I hope that I will find a way to affirm who I am and to continue on in my ministry. I don't want this to completely change my life. I want it to enrich my life and by so doing enrich the lives of those around me.

Debbie

Nice to here you say that

Congratulations and enjoy