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I'm considering not starting college after this year due to trans issues

Started by ~RoadToTrista~, February 04, 2012, 03:11:51 PM

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~RoadToTrista~

Not forever, I think I need to take a gap year, but right now I think transitioning will cause too many complications.

I'm sure people I know will ask what I'd do during that time. Frankly I don't know what to tell them, and it's not any of their business anyway.

Ugh, what do you guys think about it?

(On another note my Dad's giving me $26,000 which I plan to use as college money, but I can't help being tempted by the fact that that's pretty much the price for SRS. I wouldn't choose it over college but now I'm wondering how much a job could pay my way through.)
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Tristan

Really.  I found that college has been a great time to transition.  The. Amount of resources and support tends to be good.
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Bird

I have received good support from my University institution, they were really helpful, even with my name change process. From my classmates, it was a different story, there was a lot of unnaceptance, but it was because I was their male classmate for 4 years and then, suddenly, turned into a woman.

So, IMO, if you join presenting as a woman, you won't have many issues.
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adt2010

I started transitioning my first day of college. I was telling people I was a guy and my voice was high and my binder was not working well AT ALL. Transitioning at this time has worked very well, and there is a lot of support from many of my professors and fellow students. More than likely you will not have classes with the same people more than once or twice, and if anyone starts to think that you are changing they will just assume you have always been that way and think nothing more.

I guess it would depend on where you are going, but most places are pretty accepting (or at least there wont be any problems). My school is in a small country-like town in Missouri, generally not the most accepting community, but the students are from all over and so I rarely (never?) face discrimination. I even do panels in classes with the Queers and Allies group on campus and tell people my story and there is hardly/never any negative feedback. It's college so people are learning that there are plenty of diverse people in the world and they are learning to accept those people. I say go for it!

Just my thoughts on this, but if you are extremely uncomfortable then you can wait maybe a semester? But I feel it's easier to start now rather than when you are searching for a career.

Alex
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Joeyboo~ :3

Actually college would be a great social setting to transition :)
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Tristan

Quote from: JoeyD on March 18, 2012, 01:05:26 PM
Actually college would be a great social setting to transition :)
i will 2nd that. it has been for me and a few others
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Joelene9

Trista,
  Don't drop the college.  I did, big mistake.  Hopefully you'll get a degree that is marketable. 
  Joelene
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Jamie D

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on February 04, 2012, 03:11:51 PM
Not forever, I think I need to take a gap year, but right now I think transitioning will cause too many complications.

I'm sure people I know will ask what I'd do during that time. Frankly I don't know what to tell them, and it's not any of their business anyway.

Ugh, what do you guys think about it?

(On another note my Dad's giving me $26,000 which I plan to use as college money, but I can't help being tempted by the fact that that's pretty much the price for SRS. I wouldn't choose it over college but now I'm wondering how much a job could pay my way through.)

Many young people are not ready to go immediately to college.  I had no idea what I wanted to do, what my major might be, or who I was at age 18.  Getting some work experience is not a bad thing, and may focus your academic interests.

As far as financing college, and perhaps, srs, consider all of the subsidized student loans you can get.  Set the Dad $$$ aside and don't report it as money available for college on your FAFSA.
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Tristan

I know my university was like if anyone gives you issues let us know. They took really good care of us.
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JessicaH

I agree with what others, for the most part.  If you truely need to wait a year, make sure you don't create entanglements (car payments or other liabilities) that will force you to work much harder for income while you are in school. If you don't have your life sorted out yet and you are still dealing with a lot of trans or issues, it may be good to resolve them first becasue the stress of school alone can be a lot to bear.

College is a major investment so make sure you are prepared to succeed. It can be the best or worst 4 years of your life but that will be up to you which one it is.
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Ms. OBrien CVT

I am in college and still basically still in transition.  Granted I only am lacking SRS, but till then I am in transition.  College is a great time to transition.  Everyone around you is looking for who they are.

Go forth and seek the real you.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Hikari

I still consider leaving college to have been a decent choice on my pary, due to the financial and mental state I was in at the time. I greatly regret not having that degree now though. If I didn't have CDL i am not sure what I would do for money without a degree.

The truth is only you can decide what you should do, but. If you do leave college, please have a plan, financially to finish it. I still haven't got to restart my degree, and it may be a year or two before I can. All of that delay could have been avoided by proper planning on my behalf.

Whatever you do, good luck.
私は女の子 です!My Blog - Hikari's Transition Log http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,377.0.html
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Bird

Are you in stealth Obrien? If not, is there prejudice towards you from other classmates?
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Make_It_Good

Have you started college and wanting to take a gap year in between years? Or have you not started it at all?
I took a gap year before I went to uni. Although it was hard and quite lonely :/ Im glad I did. My main reason was because if I went straight into uni, I would have only been on T for about a week. Delaying it a year, meant T could do its work abit more, I wouldnt look 12 years old and I would be more comfortable. Even if I went back, Id still do the gap year. And I got to do voluntary work abroad in my gap year.
  But if you are already on hormone therapy and pass fine (sorry, I dont know your situation and where youre at), then maybe things will be fine for you to go straight into it, if youre worried about hassle from people and complications related to that, then uni is pretty much a liberal place to be, so you will be fine in that respects.
And by the sounds of it youve got the money sorted.

Im coming up to my final year of uni and Im considering taking a gap year now, simply because Im having lower surgery, and it is in stages so I know it will mean I will be missing alot of classes in my most important year! :/
Not sure what to do as Id have to sort things now for a gap year and I wouldnt have anywhere else to live. But hey, Ill play it by ear :p

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Bexi

At the beginning, no one will know who you are, they may assume you are a male-appearing girl or a feminine boy, so why not use that uncertainty to your advantage?

For many other people its their first time thrown together with a bunch of new people into a wider world with more responsibility. They're out of their comfort zone: having to make new friends, not knowing where anything is, being relied on to feed and fend for themselves as adults. Their horizons are open, and most find that a transperson won't be as much of a shock.

Also, Universities and Colleges (on the whole) offer tremendous support. They are filled with educated openminded individuals, nice people wanting to help and have LGBT groups that may help you settle in, make new friends and be comfortable with who you are. 
Sometimes you have to trust people to understand you are not perfect
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Pippa

Things have changed since I was a student.  The idea that I could have a car was so far from reality it was not true!  As a student, you have to reassess your spending and lifestyle.  You have to be aware that you may have to share accomodation, limit your spending, use thrift stores and discount supermarkets.  But three or four years of struggling is made up by the better career opportunities you have with qualifications.

Getting work while being trans is difficult enough with qualifications.  Without qualifications it is almost impossible. 
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~RoadToTrista~

@Make_It_Good: I'm about to graduate high school, also it's not just trans issues. I don't feel I'm mentally ready enough to start college yet because I slacked off throughout high school. Also I haven't started hormones yet, and I need to increase practice on my voice training by a lot and let my hair grow out more, lolz. I think a gap year is the best choice, so now those are my plans. I'm used to being alone so that doesn't bother me.

@Bexi: With the college I'm planning on starting at, either way I'm probably going to know almost everyone that's there lol. Might as well get a little more comfortable.
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Bexi

Ah that complicates things, but if you're coming out anyway, they will find out eventually. Its daunting but all the good things are hard at first.  :)

If you're thinking about the gap year then i'd recommend getting a job - at the very least it will stop you from going stir-crazy. It can also help fund your transistion, meet new friends, experience the 'real' world and give you a bit of breathing space to decide what you want to do with your life.

Oh, and i'll echo the sentiments that having a degree can really help getting a decent job.
X
Sometimes you have to trust people to understand you are not perfect
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a_mad_T_party

~RoadToTrista~,
I think, taking a break in your educational process just for the year is not that long, almost nothing.

But for you, for your state, assurance, readiness it'd be helpful.

In our "world", if you didn't go to the University after the school, when you're only 17, people talk about you as a loser. It's so difficult to find job here, and without education even more difficult. But nobody thinks that the choice of a profession is very important. You must enjoy the learning, the work to which you learn.
College for me is like a new live, even new world. You should enjoy this time to the maximum. ;)
You'll get a job, you'll take the time for your changes, the time to make the right solution. I think that sounds great.
Good luck!
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justmeinoz

The way University places are funded here, a lot of kids spend a year working so that they can show they have foregone income by returning to study.  That means they can get a Gov't allowance to cover living expenses and rent under the Austudy scheme.  It also gives them sufficient funds to actually have a life too.
University would have to be the best place to Transition by far.  I am out as Trans to the others in my Gender Studies tutorial group, and out as a dyke to pretty much everyone, and have had no problems whatsoever.
Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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