Greetings,
My name is by birth Miss Neelofur khan But the name I chose for my self was Mr Lysander Dufrain I am 24 years of age and am a Female2male.
For me the thing that braught me here was curiousity a desire to learn and a need to find out how I can be all that I want to be.
Growing up was weird I guess because from a young age I always liked the idea of being a boy..which to most wouldn't seem that bad But growing up in a strict muslim house it was probably one of the worst things. I have known from a young age that dressing like a man, but as i grew up my dad drilled into me the punishment for being gay and cross dressing ect ect via religion and culture and also his own small minded opinion...so as a child it wasn't a option although i used to sit for hours imagining my hair being short and having a beard, silly at the time perhaps but as I got older so did the sense that i was only half a
person.at 15 my father sent me to Dubai where put in an arranged marriage. I think for me thi is where the crises really began because of the fact i was forced to be a proper old fashioned lady and do the house work not dress like a man.. for years i had been a tomboy preferring trainers to shoes and now i i would wear high heels makeup and everything that felt almost alien to me.
Finally at 18 I returned to the u.k and this is when I began to dress more like a boy I would wear boxers and t-shirts and began shortening my hair but nothing to drastic or obvious as I was still with my father due to Islamic law i needed his help to get a divorce from my husband who was still within Dubai.
for me Last year brought the biggest change I finally got a part male haircut..I will upload a pic soon to show what I mean it's basically shaven on one side and short on the other..My ideal haircut being a 1940's style military haircut..but it will do for now ^_^.
I have made a friend with a male to female cross-dresser who has supported my decisions 100% and has the most fun tip's on hairstyles ect.
I guess for me now all i want is to make the steps to actually being a happy person.
for the first time in my life I can openly and proudly say that yes I cross-dress(god i hate that term-.-) And I dont care if I am judged because it makes me happy it helps me to feel complete as a person.
Feeling like half a person was the worst thing I had ever felt this constant feeling of being incomplete like i was only half a person it seems strange when there is no one to talk to it about, no -one who could actually understnd..as I child i thought i was a tomboy, and it is a term I can use happily for me it stand for what i am a girl that loves dressing like a man.
