Hi, I've been meaning to introduce myself for a while now.

I have realized that I'm on the transgender spectrum for the last five years but didn't act on it very much because I have had really bad social anxiety and was afraid of what others would think. I'm 30 years old now and have spent a long time trying to 'be a man'. I didn't know anything about how the brain can be a different gender than the body back then but I know I didn't fit well with other guys. I even ended up joining the marines and serving in the infantry to force myself to change but that ended up being four years of hell instead.

My social anxiety began about 20 years ago - I was bullied a lot in school and my family wasn't very supportive of me. The result was a lot of depression and disassociation. I don't really remember much about my past and don't really ever remembering wanting to be female or androgynous. I do remember never being able to look at my own reflection for some unknown reason; I've always hated my physical self.

I've been seeing some therapists over the last few years because of depression and anxiety and specifically a gender therapist over the last year. I definitely do have gender dysphoria and have been on spiro for the last month which has helped me feel better. Depending on the atmosphere at my next job I may start estrogen in a month, I don't know yet. I'm a little more out now but still haven't told my family. I've learned I have a feminine digit ratio - 1.01 and 0.98 so at least I have some kind of physical evidence to support how I feel even though there's lots of variables with digit ratios.

I'm here to make friends since I have none, my anxiety has made my life very difficult and I am trying to overcome it. Anyways, sorry if this post sounds negative but it is the honest truth about my life and I try to be positive.

Hi ShyArtist, welcome to Susans! We are family here, and support for each other is the main reason we're here. Your feelings are understood by everyone here. We're glad you found us, hugs, Devlyn

hi iam sitin on sofa, waitin 2 go and talk to my mum n dad, have bin livin full time for the last 4weeks.
think my mum will understand, and then she will join .all the ...s together, (when i was a child.)
dad have no idear! have tried and tried 2 find a gen ts out there, all i want is friendship,
some1 that i can talk 2 and understands and help eachother. sorry 4 my spelling!

Hi girls and welcome.  We have all taken different paths to get here, but the main thing is you are among family now. 

Karen.

Hi ShyArtist,

Welcome to our little family. Over 6707 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet