A Real Name
April 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm Natalie Reed

http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/a-real-name/

"So, what's your real name?"

"Natalie."

"No, I mean like, your real name, the one you were born with."

"My assigned name?"

"Yeah, your real one."

"It wasn't real, and it's none of your business."

I've always found it interesting, this idea of a name's "realness". That a chosen name is not real but the ones arbitrarily imposed on us, before our selfhood had been in any way articulated, before there was really an "us" to name, are. To me it seems like such a silly, weird inversion of everything the concept of a name actually signifies, at least in my mind.

This is as ridiculous as telling anyone else that has changed their name before that their name is invalid.

A nice essay.

I touched on something similar when I gave a talk to my church about my transition.

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...though I can say with all honesty that my real name is Constance Anne McEntee, I cannot deny that my legal name is still David William McEntee.

In some ways, for me, this ties in with the Can we, or aught we, get rid of our former boy/girl-guise life? thread. I have a real name that for the time being is not the same as my legal name. At some point in the future, after my RLE, that will be changing.

I loved the line in the article that read, "The name is that which signifies the self." That, too, is something I touched on:

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Oh, and word on my chosen name. I initially chose Constance because I love that name and its diminutive Connie. I chose Anne as a middle name because the two sounded good together. Then, I looked them up. Constance means "steadfast" and Anne means "grace." It seemed oddly prophetic, to me. Because if anything will help me cross the boundaries of sex and gender with my psyche intact, it will be steadfast grace.

Connie,

Beautiful blog post about your name! Glad you have a church community where you are accepted exactly as who you are. I'm fortunate to have a similar experience at our local UU.

Zythyra

Thanks, Z.

The UU here in San Mateo has been helpful to me, too. But I usually go to the UCC church. Both denominations have been great.