Quote from: Felix on April 20, 2012, 12:31:59 AM
Shut up, cisman.

You don't know how many times I'm saying that to myself when I'm posting here and how many times I've typed out a long post and then decided not to hit "post" and it just vanishes into the ether of the Net. haha.

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I mean, uh, yeah you're probably right as far as spectrums go. I do wonder how much conditioning comes into play, too. Like if I didn't have to be treated like a girl for so long on top of having the wrong parts, maybe I wouldn't be so disturbed by the parts. I'm not sure. I'm also a little befuddled as to why I'm just mildly sheepish about my genitals, but bothered to the point of dissociative tendencies regarding my breasts.

All of you go become scientists, nao! We need answers, get to work!

Well, I'm no scientist but you've certainly inspired me to want to talk about this subject on my show! Maybe some sciencey types will call in.

As for more dysphoria re: top stuph vs. bottom stuph (for some), I wonder if that's largely about how that impacts the general public's impression of you and therefore how they treat you more than the other which is so much more private and generally only relevant with sexual partners. I don't know. I'm just a dumb cis man. 

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(dalebert you shouldn't actually shut up )

Thank you! I'm still a little timid but getting better. I realize I'm speaking from a position of ignorance and that to some extent, I will always be a little ignorant from lacking first-hand experience, but I'm trying to learn and understand as best I can. So I hope people will be patient with my ignorance.

Liam that was very well said.

Quote from: Felix on April 20, 2012, 12:31:59 AM
Shut up, cisman.

I mean, uh, yeah you're probably right as far as spectrums go. I do wonder how much conditioning comes into play, too. Like if I didn't have to be treated like a girl for so long on top of having the wrong parts, maybe I wouldn't be so disturbed by the parts. I'm not sure. I'm also a little befuddled as to why I'm just mildly sheepish about my genitals, but bothered to the point of dissociative tendencies regarding my breasts.

All of you go become scientists, nao! We need answers, get to work!

(dalebert you shouldn't actually shut up )

I totally think the same way.Being treated as a girl in society is sometimes much worse then having the wrong body parts.I am also more disfforic about my breats,then down parts.I also don't like my hips.I allways think how much my life would of been better if I was a bio guy.But,I am currently very very happy with my life,thaugh I have bad days as everyone(I wrote about that im my last post).It seems to me that life keeps getting better every day.

Quote from: Darrin Scott on April 18, 2012, 05:52:32 PM
I was thinking about this the other day. Many people tell me to accept my body the way it is and to enjoy it until I get top surgery. I have a VERY hard time doing that and the people saying this are cis people. Hardly any trans people say this. I get sick of people telling me how to feel about my body. I know they're trying to be helpful and make me feel better, but dysphoria is something that isn't going to go away until the problem is solved. It does bother me a little when people read me as female. Am I crazy for thinking this? Am I crazy for getting upset when cis people tell me how to feel about my body while being trans? I'm not saying they can offer no advice, but I feel, until you're in my shoes, don't tell me how to feel. Anyone else?

I've know how you feel and this is sort of what I was trying to explain to my mom about why I want to go through an appearence change. And the whole "be happy with what god gave you" thing, well god made me a transgender, what do they have to say about that? At least I'm a little lucky in the aspect that I can just put on a tight sports bra and wear an oversized hoody and clomp around in my combat boots and people are none the wiser...but there still there! Here's to hopeing it wont be long till we got top surgery!

I've tried to use the "imagine you woke up in the body of a [whatever they're not]...." exercise. But it hasn't been effective, because people get interested in imagining how they would feel...and that initial interest trumps the actual result of [what we presume would be] dysphoria. Also, since a frequent response is something other than dysphoria, the analogy doesn't lead them to the point where I want them, rhetorically, to be.

I have had a little better luck with using the current perspective of person I am speaking with to demonstrate the magnitude of their un-awareness. "Doesn't the fact that someone deeply needs to have a very serious surgery - which you cannot comprehend the necessity of - show you how much of a difference there is between a non-transsexual person and a transsexual person?"  Often the most dramatic example is MTF SRS. ("She is not a man, which is why you/man are squicked by the idea, and she is not!")

I didn't explain that very well, but it has worked in situations where the other tactic hasn't.