My people, Ojibwas, believe that transgendered people are two-spirited and are to be revered.  When my transition started there were two beings, him for work and me for the rest of life.  But they were the same person.

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on April 19, 2012, 06:13:17 AM
My people, Ojibwas, believe that transgendered people are two-spirited and are to be revered.  When my transition started there were two beings, him for work and me for the rest of life.  But they were the same person.

And all along i thought you were Irish!

I don't know if this helps any. But, Andrea, for me. Due to living location, family, and current finances. Is more in the head and heart, than in the world. Yet we are the same in most respects. We spring from the same source of experiences. Where the world sees a odd middle aged man. If transition were to happen. It would see a odd middle aged woman.

I think the duality comes in explaining it to others, because ultimately, the truth is simple:  We are only who we are.  Whether or not we are in the correct gender is still only a part of who we are. Because we can be nothing more than that.  Duality outside of the mind does not exist.  Just like life and death.  These aren't two seperate things.  As we are living, we are also dying.  You cannot have one without the other, so it is only one.  You cannot have one version of you without the other, so you are one.

We wouldn't seperate ourselves for who we are when we eat chocolate ice cream, and who we are when we eat vanilla.  Yes, its a simple concept, but easily extrapolated into gender.  if we transition, we still are only who we are...... just more of who we want to be.

For the longest time, I had thought "Who am I going to be when I'm a woman"?  It had given me all sorts of headaches.  The mind, anxiously dividing... searching in duality.  Of course, the answer was simple, even though it took forever for me to believe.  I am going to be me!  Same sense of humor, same likes and dislikes.  I am going to be me, although I will be me in the outward expression that I choose closest resembles my soul.  Trying to think of myself as a different person caused a LOT of grief.  I can't tell you the release I felt when I finally knew that I would still be me.  the duality was gone, and as such, so was the fear.

Sometimes I get a little long winded.... but hope this helps.  Just a different slant on it all.

Quote from: auburnaubrey on April 21, 2012, 12:54:59 PM
I think the duality comes in explaining it to others, because ultimately, the truth is simple:  We are only who we are.  Whether or not we are in the correct gender is still only a part of who we are. Because we can be nothing more than that.  Duality outside of the mind does not exist.  Just like life and death.  These aren't two separate things.  As we are living, we are also dying.  You cannot have one without the other, so it is only one.  You cannot have one version of you without the other, so you are one.

We wouldn't separate ourselves for who we are when we eat chocolate ice cream, and who we are when we eat vanilla.  Yes, its a simple concept, but easily extrapolated into gender.  if we transition, we still are only who we are...... just more of who we want to be.

For the longest time, I had thought "Who am I going to be when I'm a woman"?  It had given me all sorts of headaches.  The mind, anxiously dividing... searching in duality.  Of course, the answer was simple, even though it took forever for me to believe.  I am going to be me!  Same sense of humor, same likes and dislikes.  I am going to be me, although I will be me in the outward expression that I choose closest resembles my soul.  Trying to think of myself as a different person caused a LOT of grief.  I can't tell you the release I felt when I finally knew that I would still be me.  the duality was gone, and as such, so was the fear.

Sometimes I get a little long winded.... but hope this helps.  Just a different slant on it all.

Very good to see that in words Aubrey, that is a perfect description

For many many years I was confused about "who/what" am I... Once I realized that "I am just me" it all became much clearer and easier on my mind...but yes, for the sake of explaining you sometimes have to use the duality concept as people see the 3D physical appearances and they need to put a label on it.

Quote from: Michelle G on April 21, 2012, 01:19:46 PM
but yes, for the sake of explaining you sometimes have to use the duality concept as people see the 3D physical appearances and they need to put a label on it.

Yeah, humans for the most part, feel the need to "catagorize" things in order for them to understand them... of course, that's one of the big flaws of humans... the need to "understand".  If they could only replace that word with "accept", then they would realize they don't need to understand everything... because we just can't understand everything.

I think that I fell into the trap of duality, because my thoughts would catagorize themselves as "in my male form" and "in my female form",  and that in itself kind of boxed me in to my own thoughts...  Which led to frustration, which led to fear, which led to being stuck.  Unfortunately, gender is used as a great "seperator"...... instead of people just being people.  We don't categorize chemical engineers vs non chemical engineers!! LOL.  They are just people in a profession.  I am just a person in a gender! 

For me as an androgyne, I used to think of myself as two separate people before I was able to integrate both sides into a cohesive identity. For you, however, as many people have said, the "male" side seems far more like a created person you acted as in order to get by. Ultimately, though, only you can decide which part of the male presentation is the actual you and to integrate those things into the real you as a woman.