So I've had yet another incident of harassment at my school. This is the report I sent to Equality Michigan describing what happened:
had an incident before and I was told to get back to you if I have another problem.
(For starters I am a female to male transsexual. I have not legally transitioned yet, but I have been on hormones for 5 months.)
Today at lunch I was purchasing something and the lunch lady replied "Here you go ma'am." and I replied "sir" suggesting correction. She went off with "No, you're ma'am in my book." and I said okay and walked away. My friend was behind me in line as I walked away and also as I was walking away, another staff member who works under the vice principal I believe walked over to the lunch lady. The lunch lady started going off on him about what just transpired between her and myself. My friend (as well as other students) were around and overheard the conversation. The lunch lady went off again saying "I know that little girl didn't just try to put me in check. *and yelled "Ma'am" as I was walking away* Now if I told her to pull her pants down and show me her dick she wouldn't have nothing to say" and the man who works under the vice principal just laughed at her degrading remark. I immediately went to the office to tell the principal, but she was busy so I told the head security guard who was there. She went and told the principal what happened and I wrote out a statement.
They told me to go to class and my next class was gym. So after gym I got to the bathrooms in the front because he doesn't want me to use the locker rooms (they're gross anyways so I don't care). As I'm going to the bathroom I see the security guards and over hear one of them say "That's [birthname], she's going to the bathroom to change. She's taking testosterone." So I'm in the bathroom changing and the head security guard comes in and tells me that her Chief said that I can't use that bathroom until I legally have "that" changed as she motions her groin area. I replied something like "Why? I legally have the right to use this bathroom. I have the papers in my bookbag." and she tells me to write out another statement saying that and to copy the papers, but until then I can't use that bathroom, use the unisex one.
I really feel defenseless right now, like I don't know what I can do. But I know one thing is for sure, I will continue to use the bathroom of my choice. They will have to physically drag me out. I'm just like a can of mixed emotions right now . . anger, sadness, confusion. I don't even know if the lunch lady and that guy got in trouble at all for what happened. I just don't know ...
*****Update***** APril 25, 2012
Here's an update on the situation kinda:
My mom talked to the principal over the phone and the principal said that they are collecting statements from the lunch lady and students who witnessed (idk how they plan on finding out who the students were because I kept it anonymous). She added that the behavior of the lunch lady is "not tolerated." Whatever that is supposed to mean. I did see the lunch lady working today though.
The principal went to to say that "There has been an issue with Jacob using the men's bathroom. We have already set up accommodations for him (the unisex bathroom), however he has been using the men's student bathroom. The problem is that male students and staff have complained about how this makes them uncomfortable. In order for me to allow him to use that bathroom I need documentation of him having his sex changed legally. " and just left it at that.
This is really making my blood boil. I've been trying to find the actual amendment made to something called the "Elliott Larsen Civil Rights Act of 1967" that allows use of public accommodations regardless of gender identity. So far I can only find the new that my city has banned anti-transgender discrimination (
http://www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=29887)
******Update******** April 26, 2012
I got another email from Equality Michigan today.
"Hi Jacob:
Here is the municipal code that was recently passed that would apply in this situation:
http://library.municode.com/index.aspx?clientId=10649If it's OK with you, ___ can send a consent form so we have permission to talk with the school on your and your mother's behalf.
We agree with you that bathroom use should not require some "proof" or legal gender marker change, and that the code's inclusion of "gender identity and expression" means that a legal gender marker change is not necessary, but as far as we know no direction has been given to schools in DPS on this issue. What we can do is draft a letter, citing this ordinance, and send it to the school. It is very difficult to get a gender marker change in Michigan so this requirement is way too difficult for most people to meet, and you shouldn't have to go through a complicated legal maneuver just to use the bathroom. Once we work out the consent form, we can talk some more."
The specific codes are
http://library.municode.com/showDocumentFrame.aspx?clientID=10649&docID=1 and
http://library.municode.com/showDocumentFrame.aspx?clientID=10649&docID=4***********Update********** May 2, 2012
My mother and I are going to have a meeting with someone from Equality Michigan and ACLU next Thursday to outline what we will address during a conference with my principal and gym teacher (he insists that I can't compete with the other males because it is a liability since I am legally female.)
***********Update********** May 7, 2012
Today the whole lunch lady thing was addressed.
The principal pulled myself, the lunch lady, and the lunch room adviser aside and told her pretty much "You need to work in a professional manner at all times and keep any personal commentary to yourself. Whatever Jacob chooses to do, or be called is his personal choice and we are not to judge him. In fact all that's even necessary is 'Thank you, have a good day, etc.', not ma'am or sir is even necessary."
After she said that, the lunch lady got all offended and the principal gave her her turn to talk. So she said to me basically
"Have I ever disrespected you in these years that you've been here? (I said yes, but I waited my turn for anything more) I have only known you as female since you've been to this school." Then she gave her story of what happened which was:
"I said thank you ma'am and she told me 'I am a man, not a woman' (and some other stuff I don't remember, but it wasn't true) then I replied 'Well I've only known you as a girl since you've been here' (and some other stuff again)."Finally she went on to say
"After that somebody ran over to her and told her what I said to someone else. I am an adult and was talking to another adult and that is my business . . . blah blah blah." Basically she was implying that she's grown and no one should have been listening to her side comments.
I just gave my account of what happened after that and of course she objected and gave her made up story of how she oh-so-politely replied to my simple suggestion of "sir". After that I was allowed to leave and the principal stayed in the room with the lunch lady and adviser and I'm not sure what happened after that.
tldr;
The principal straight up put her in her place. The lunch lady put some words in my mouth that I said "I am a man, not a woman blah blah blah". Then she implied that because she is an adult my friend should not have been listening to her disrespectful comments about myself. (I guess that because she's an adult she thinks it's okay to disrespect people.)
*************Update************** May 10, 2012
Great update:
Today my mother and I had a little conference at Equality Michigan with their director of victim services, the other worker with victim advocacy, and the director of programs from Affirmations (another LGBT group/resource center in Michigan). I just want to start by saying that they were soooo friendly, enthusiastic and ready to help. We all sat down at a conference table and they already pretty much had a plan laid out as to how we will approach the entire school situation.
Before we got all into what we will do however, we discussed everything that was going on with the school so everyone was on the same page. Basically they came to the conclusion that they believe the school is in violation to city ordinances because they cover gender identity, which is defined in city ordinances as gender expression regardless of the gender on one's birth certificate. (Also, we learned that the director of victim services is a lawyer, so she knows her stuff hah.)
Anyways, after all of that they let us know what the plan is going to be.
1.) They're going to team up with an LGBT attorney from the ACLU and write a letter to the principal including the city ordinances (I'm not exactly sure what else is going to be included). They (and me) hope to have this done by Monday. They also are going to try to set up some type of sensitivity training workshops for the staff at my school so they can have a better understanding of how to deal with LGBT students; gender identity/expression to be emphasized. Also they plan to contact the Emergency Financial Manager/ some other type of supervisor over the public school system and have a conference with them, my mother, myself, principal, security, and anyone else I feel should go.
2.) If my school does not react positively to all I outlined above, or if they choose to take legal action, the next step would be just that. The director was telling us that we could take it as far as federal court (I think) if it got to that point and the constitution could get involved because of something that would protect me in the constitution. . sorry there were so many terms going on and I could only absorb so much lol. Basically, we can take it as far as they want to legally and we would still have a good fight to put up.
They were really just emphasizing to my mother and I about huge community that is there to help us out, which is so freakin' cool. We were also informed of another ftm student at a school in my district who is going through a similar problem, but in his case he is having issues with the students not staff. So we are going to probably get in contact with them. Soooo yeah, a lot was discussed, I can't recall it all right now, but it was all good. I'm a ton more hopeful with the whole situation now that I know I have so much support behind me.
I will continue to keep this thread updated as much as possible. I'm not going down without a fight this time guys, so you don't either if you can help it! There are people out there to help.
