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I want it, but I'm scared of changes?

Started by Cody Jensen, April 23, 2012, 06:36:38 PM

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Shang

Quote from: pretty on April 25, 2012, 05:07:22 AM
I'm sorry but I'm a little confused as to what you are disagreeing with  ???

I just thought that OP should consider if, like you said for you, the need to transition is not pressing enough to make transitioning worth it. If someone is on a level where they are willing to weigh the pros and cons of being the opposite sex in their decision, chances are they do not identify strongly enough as the opposite sex for transition to be a good solution, in my opinion. Because it is a very serious measure to take, and it changes a lot of things. But like, personally, I can't imagine going "wellll I won't be as strong, and I might get reallly dry skin, so idk about transition..." or something. Those things aren't even a consideration. I cannot live life as a man instead of a woman. I don't want to do it and I'm not capable of it. Little physical things that every woman deals with and that I would deal with as a cis woman are expected.

I don't feel that transition is about obtaining the perfect body. Everyone is unhappy with their body in some way, and that's totally okay. And people can want to be anything. But then, that's different than very distinctly having the personality of one sex but the body of another. That mismatch is too big of a preventing factor in living and functioning normally in life than just a general dissatisfaction about how your body looks. A lot of people seem to focus just on how they feel about their body. But I don't understand, because they often don't seem to be too bothered by their social role. No disrespect meant. I just feel and have felt so uncomfortable and so out of place in a male social role that I don't understand how it can be a minor issue to someone who includes themselves in the trans spectrum  :-\


I was disagreeing with your statement:

Quote
. . . If you're certain that you were born in the wrong body and that it doesn't fit you, you should pretty much be willing to give up your physical femininity at any point, without even having to think about it. . .

But thank you for clearing up your point of view because that statement was what had me up in arms because it doesn't fit me in the least.

The clearing up helps a lot and I understand where you're coming from and what is necessary for you.
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Demiguy

Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
I'm agreeing with you dude.

Transition scares the hell out of me. Looking at my family, I have a vague idea of what I'll look like as a guy - but the process of getting there is worrying.

Pretty, JasonRX: I don't think I really agree with you.
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.
If someone could flick a wand and make me the real me tomorrow, I'd do it without a second thought. As would a lot of ftms, I'm sure.
But the months of transition, the fear of the unknown - that is terrifying for a lot of us. Especially those that haven't had therapy or are new to this self discovery.

Totally agree- if I could flick a wand and be done with it, I'd do it without a second thought... Process is part of life and so is balance. You can't rush any part of the journey or you won't be ready when you get there.
Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
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dalebert

Quote from: Kyyn on April 25, 2012, 06:42:44 AM
There's a huge difference between the want to be male and the fear of the transition.

Seems to me this is why there seem to be more people who identify as trans now versus the past prior to certain advances in the medical field. And I predict there will be more people who identify as trans as the medical technology continues to move forward.

Christopher_Marius

Man I ain't even on T and I already got hairier arms than literally all of my bio-male friends, bushy-ass eyebrows, legs, ass, junk. Hell I have to shave my face like every other day. Thank god I at least don't have a hairy chest/back.

I wonder if this means that once I'm on T, i'll just look like Sasquatch.

But yeah... I worry about my voice changing too quickly and losing my singing voice. That's probably the biggest thing I worry about.
Never put off until tomorrow what you could get out of doing altogether.

"They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth. Even if it's an unpleasant truth."  -George Carlin
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King Malachite

Quote from: dalebert on April 25, 2012, 03:45:05 PM
Seems to me this is why there seem to be more people who identify as trans now versus the past prior to certain advances in the medical field. And I predict there will be more people who identify as trans as the medical technology continues to move forward.

The topic of that was discussed on the documentary "Boy I Am" on Youtube so the idea isn't too far fetched.
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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dalebert

Now I want to see that, but not quite bad enough to buy the DVD.

King Malachite

Quote from: dalebert on April 25, 2012, 09:25:36 PM
Now I want to see that, but not quite bad enough to buy the DVD.

I didn't even know it was on DVD.  Youtube has it in like 5 parts I think.
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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luna nyan

Quote from: landon_marius on April 25, 2012, 06:01:22 PM
Man I ain't even on T and I already got hairier arms than literally all of my bio-male friends, bushy-ass eyebrows, legs, ass, junk. Hell I have to shave my face like every other day. Thank god I at least don't have a hairy chest/back.

I wonder if this means that once I'm on T, i'll just look like Sasquatch.

But yeah... I worry about my voice changing too quickly and losing my singing voice. That's probably the biggest thing I worry about.
*lol*
Most women have more body hair than me even before HRT started.  Hmm... have you ever had your hormone levels checked?  It wouldn't surprise me if you had a baseline T level that was higher than average given what you're saying.

If you're worried about looking like Sasquatch, check the male members of your family, they will give you a pretty good indication of how hairy you might get.

As far as your voice goes - it's going to break, and where it will settle to is anyone's guess.  The good news though is that if you have a good singing voice now, the chances are that you'll be fine afterwards - just expect that it will take a few years for it to settle and for you to get comfortable with singing with it.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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bojangles

QuoteI guess one of my friends were telling me "hormones really mess up your body" so that j ust made me even more scared. 

There's a lot of truth to that. Estrogen made me want to shoot myself in the nuts.
;)
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Kyyn

Quote from: bojangles on April 26, 2012, 10:42:47 AM

There's a lot of truth to that. Estrogen made me want to shoot myself in the nuts.
;)

ME TOO!
I'm allergic. It's been making be horrendously ill since i was 13.

Actually, I've been meaning to start a new topic about that. I've been put on a contraceptive that is completely estrogen-free.
Without the excess estrogen in my system, I no longer have to have a period every month (or ever if i keep this injection up) AND my breast have shrunk literally 3 SIZES! I went from a large Dcup to a small Ccup/ large Bcup. Binding is so much easier!
It decreases your chances of being able to get pregnant (when you choose to go off it) but I can't see many of us wanting to be pregnant... O__o

It's not T - but it's a start.
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Keaira

In the end Cody, only you will know whats right for you. So long as you remain true to yourself, all else is secondary. After all, transition is a way for us to be seen as us. It's the packaging around the gift inside. You may change the box it's in, but it will always be the same, special gift.
So don't feel rushed, take your time, ask questions and explore life paths. You'll do what right for you when you are ready. Good luck. ^_^
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luna nyan

Quote from: Kyyn on April 26, 2012, 04:36:19 PM
I've been put on a contraceptive that is completely estrogen-free.
Without the excess estrogen in my system, I no longer have to have a period every month (or ever if i keep this injection up) AND my breast have shrunk literally 3 SIZES! I went from a large Dcup to a small Ccup/ large Bcup.
It's not T - but it's a start.
Would it be that you've been put on an oestrogen receptor modulator/blocker type thing?  That'd be my first guess with what you're saying.

Cody - Keaira's advice is pretty good.  Take your time and take little steps that you feel comfortable with.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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Cody Jensen

Quote from: Keaira on April 27, 2012, 05:33:14 AM
In the end Cody, only you will know whats right for you. So long as you remain true to yourself, all else is secondary. After all, transition is a way for us to be seen as us. It's the packaging around the gift inside. You may change the box it's in, but it will always be the same, special gift.
So don't feel rushed, take your time, ask questions and explore life paths. You'll do what right for you when you are ready. Good luck. ^_^

Thanks so much for this. I needed this. It's just sometimes, when I see other trans guys passing so well on T, it makes me want to jump into transition so bad. but,  then there's something about being female i don't understand but i guess my second voice is saying "that's who you are though, you were born female". so, i'm uncomfortable as female, but i'm also unsure of how i'd feel in a male body. but something tells me i'd be more comfortable in a male body than female. i feel trapped either way D: and if i DO transition, i know i'd want full out hormones, top surgery, and bottom surgery. blaaaaaargh. trapped in a female body, trapped and unsure about a male body, but wanting more than female body. this is so confusiiiiiiing  ??? anywho i will take your advice, and try very very hard to muster up the courage to go to therapy
Derp

"I just don't know what went wrong!"
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Keaira

You're welcome Cody.
I hope you find your path, no matter what you decide. You will always find support here.  :icon_hug:
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driven

Quote from: Cody Jensen on April 27, 2012, 04:47:10 PM
Thanks so much for this. I needed this. It's just sometimes, when I see other trans guys passing so well on T, it makes me want to jump into transition so bad. but,  then there's something about being female i don't understand but i guess my second voice is saying "that's who you are though, you were born female". so, i'm uncomfortable as female, but i'm also unsure of how i'd feel in a male body. but something tells me i'd be more comfortable in a male body than female. i feel trapped either way D: and if i DO transition, i know i'd want full out hormones, top surgery, and bottom surgery. blaaaaaargh. trapped in a female body, trapped and unsure about a male body, but wanting more than female body. this is so confusiiiiiiing

I'll third Keiara's advice and say slow down and take your time figuring it all out. It's not like you make a choice and then you're instantly 100% male or female. Even if you do start on T, the changes happen gradually and you'll have plenty of time to decide if it's what you really want. You could even start on a low dose for awhile so the changes come slower.

"I am not what I ought to be, not what I want to be, not what I am going to be, but thankful that I am not what I used to be." - John Wooden
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