I just wanna feel human.
Like me, not like Hayley(birth name) or Harley(social name) or whoever. just me.
and I wish that were enough. I just wish it were easier to feel that way. instead of some alien species masquarading as a human girl (me=femme trans boy)
I've spent so much time like with (unrelated family drama) fighting for my rights and to be heard that ive forgotten im a human, not an object. I just dont know how to remember
I dont remember what its like to feel human
I dont know the last time that I felt human.
its not that i've lost myself just because of the family stuff, its more like, i was losing myself before and that pushed it further out of my way. I'm sick of gender labels that make me dysphoric. I'm sick of not feeling human. I just want to be me. a living breathing person. I just dont know how to remember who i was (am?) before i lost all sense of human-ness and how to remember the last time that i felt i was.....

Big hug! Devlyn

I'm sorry I don't have any definitive advice or answers, but I can tell you that you are not alone. How we deal with it is unique to us though.
I am glad you fight for your rights. I think that was what really helped me because, by fighting back, I was treating myself as if I was equal even though I didn't believe it. It depends on the person and the situation though. It's really important to put your needs first.
What also helped was being true to myself even though other people don't like it. When I was hiding, I feel like I lost myself and they still didn't like me anyway. But when I took the time to be true to myself and got to know myself, I realized that I actually really like myself.
(That also included accepting the feeling like an alien species masquerading as a human thing. You're not alone in that either.)
This is just what is working for me though. As I said, different things work for different people and I am not trained in psychology. It's a long, hard, very slow process, and often gets very frustrating. I wish you luck. I would suggest talking to a counsellor about this. If there is a self esteem group in your area, that might be a good idea too.
Good luck and *big bear hug* If you ever want to talk, I'm all ears.

GET A NEW FAMILY... MANY DO 

Harley,

Been there. Been a bad week myself on the human scale, mostly for medical reasons. I can only suggest 3 things:

1. You are a fine and perfect (by definition) example of the human condition. There is no other kind.

2. You are beautiful inside and and out. Sometimes that beauty shines brightly, sometimes it just hides waiting to be discovers, but it never, ever, ever, goes away.

3. You have eternal and irrevocable permission to be whatever "you" you want to be. Your family can't take that away, nor can anybody else, and certainly nobody with some binary description of what a man or woman should be has anything to say about it.

Hope this helps. Just writing it helped me.