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Dreaming in the (as the) other gender...

Started by auburnAubrey, April 29, 2012, 09:11:17 AM

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When I dream, I am:

Always my biological gender.
2 (2.4%)
Almost always my biological gender, but have a few dreams as the opposite sex.
16 (19%)
Mostly my biological gender, but I have a lot of dreams as the opposite sex.
17 (20.2%)
I dream about 50 % of the time as the opposite sex.
13 (15.5%)
Mostly the opposite sex, but I have a lot of dreams as my biological gender.
4 (4.8%)
Almost always the opposite sex, but have a few dreams as my biological gender.
21 (25%)
Always the opposite sex.
11 (13.1%)

Total Members Voted: 79

auburnAubrey

Hey all, I guess this is something I really wanted to get some good feedback on, from everyone.  I know it will matter a bit if you've already fully transitioned, how old you are, etc, as I'm sure how we live everyday effects our dreams in terms of self, but it has always interested me.

I am nearly full time (only a couple days here and there when I still kinda have to be male), and will be full time in August, but I still dream mostly as a male.  I'm wondering if, and when it will change. I'm 42, so that's a long time of maleness... lol.

So, please vote, then tell a little about your history... and if you used to dream in biological, and now fully dream in the gender you are now, how long did that take to start?

Thanks!!
"To live both the yin and the yang, the male and the female, is a divine gift." ~ Me

"Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine, and become a watershed to the world". ~ The Tao Te Ching
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A

I'm barely ever conscious of myself in my dreams, and the low proportion of dreams that I remember doesn't help. So, I'm sorry, but I can't really bring any reliable data.
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Sephirah

I can't really select any of those options since I have a good proprtion of dreams where I'm not either. I have dreams where I'm different animals, not even human, and sometimes just a formless mass. It largely depends on the dream. All my most vivid ones, emotionally intense ones, and happiest ones, I have been female. Which has led to some odd situations since some of my dreams take place in the past, in a time where some people were alive, and in those times it's like... hmm... it's like living an alternate life. I really don't know how to explain it. I guess the mind works in mysterious ways, lol.

I do have a recurring dream, and it's one I've had for years. And I'm female in that one too, only not myself. It's someone else, someone I feel like I should know, or did know, or something. It's the same dream every time, same events, always plays out the same way.

Interestingly, though I rarely have them, in all my nightmares, I've been male.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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A

Come to think of it, I think I do remember, too, that in most dreams where I notice I'm male, I also notice I'm feeling bad. I guess it's logical for a transsexual to associate their birth gender to discomfort.
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auburnAubrey

all my dreams are like real life...  And all are through my eyes.  And while I have dreams of dressing, and being a woman, etc, almost all of my dreams are still in male form.  Just last night I was fighting demons with Sam and Dean Winchester... (A Supernatural reference for those who don't know the show)...  I also, for some reason, was putting a sailboat together.. (What's that about Freud?)  but I was male.  (and kicking ass against the demons!)

I suppose I'll still kick butt fighting demons as a woman, but so far, I haven't been dreaming that way....  Just wondering when (or IF) that will happen....
"To live both the yin and the yang, the male and the female, is a divine gift." ~ Me

"Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine, and become a watershed to the world". ~ The Tao Te Ching
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Sephirah

I can't answer to the 'when', but as to the 'if', I think there's a very good chance.

There's also the possibility that you've had lots of these dreams but you just forgot them. ;)

I remember one dream I had where it went from one to the other. That was a very unusual dream, very vivid. I actually posted it here.

*rummages around in the archives*

Quote from: Sephirah on August 16, 2008, 03:29:45 PM
In it, I was walking in an abandoned city and, at the time, I was male-bodied. I saw a fight taking place in the ruins of an abandoned church, one that was semi-demolished and looked like it could fall down at any minute.

I say fight, but in reality it was several young, very frightened looking ladies backed into a corner, surrounded by a group of soldiers (at least that's what they looked like - although they were wearing appliances similar to gas masks).

Anyway, in muffled voices I could hear a constant stream of... sexual references as to what they were going to do to these women, and the delight they would take in doing so. This only made the women even more terrified and if they could have clawed through the wall, they would have ripped their fingers off trying.

Against my better judgement (that being "you really don't want to go over there, this isn't your fight") I approached the group. And then I noticed I was dressed in the same attire as these soldier guys.

One of the women spotted me and she shrank away even further, whereby the soldiers turned around and saluted. I have no idea why, but then they removed their masks and started...

*sigh*

Well, the remarks can't really be repeated here, but you could probably imagine what was said. Lots of comparisons with female dogs, female horses, slang terms for felines... and how they looked as though they were begging for a good... you know.

...

Anyway, that was when I started to feel very strange. I looked at the two groups repeatedly. But I couldn't move. I was like a rabbit frozen in the headlights of a car. I stared at my hands, then at the women, then at the soldiers.

And I felt disgusted. And horrified.

I said how abhorrent the soldiers' behaviour was (not exactly using that word or that turn of phrase *blushes*) and then removed the mask that I was wearing. This was when I caught sight of my reflection in the smashed glass of a nearby window. It definitely wasn't that of a male.

They were shocked for a second, then leering and wanting to know where "a piece like me got hold of a uniform."

The women were all staring at me as well, but their expressions were ones of solidarity and... hope almost. I felt connected to them, I felt like I belonged. And these soldier guys were a threat to us.

...

They forgot about the other women, and started to approach me with hideous grins on their faces. I admit that I was scared, but only partially with the threat of what they could do to me... also with the realisation of who I was and how I now felt totally disconnected to something I previously thought I was.

So, apparently my physical body had changed as well and I was, to all intents and purposes, a woman.

Just before I woke up, they all lunged at me and I removed two silver magnums from holsters that had somehow appeared at my sides, a-la Lara Croft, and sent them into the next life with those lecherous smiles still on their lips.

I walked towards the group of women, smiling, and felt... at home.

...

*blushes* Sorry for the long post, but that one dream, the vividness, the impact, changed my whole perception of how I see myself and my connection with my true gender. It's been like that ever since. I feel more of a kinship and deeper emotional connection with women, and that I am now one of the girls.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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JayKyle

I usually dream I'm full physical man but I had like maybe two dreams where I was a me getting the change and another where I was a female android > <
Being me is the way it should be.
God made me this way so get used to it XD
Black is a freaking rainbow >.<
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Sasamu

In my dreams I'm either male or don't have a gender. I have the ocasional dream where I turn into a girl or go into the body of a girl in my dreams but thats about it. This has probably been going on for a year atleast, I can't remember sorry. I haven't been on hormones or had surgery but I pretty much live full time as male. Only time I'm 'female' is with my family or friends of my Mother.

I think there are ways to teach yourself how to have lucid dreams. You could parade around in a castle with any body you want.  :D I only had a dream like that once and wasted it on ice cream!  ::)
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SourCandy

Wow, Didn't really think about it. My dreams typically have me change very quickly from one person to the next, but almost every dream I spend most of it as a female even if my gender isn't something I really notice in the dream. However I rarely dream about myself, and when I do it's usually a nightmare.

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justmeinoz

I am now almost always a woman in my dreams now, prior to transition I was always male.
That is if I can see myself at all, and am not actually watching the dream rather than being a participant in the scene.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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MiaOhMya!

Very interesting. I'm trans in most of my dreams ...
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ShawnaB

I often don't remember any of my sleep dreams.  However, my day dreaming is usually, if gender is relevant, from a woman's perspective. 

Granted, I'm not actually sure if that makes any sense, but I've never related to a typical man's view on much, if anything.  In terms of gender, I've always related more to the average female perspective and that carries over into any of my concious projections.

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JoanneB

Many of my dreams I have no clear sense of self, almost to the point of similar to watching a movie. Of the ones I do, they tend to split 50:50 male:female. However, depending on the "WTF am I doing factor!" program running in my head at the time the female dreams can be nil.
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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pebbles

Prior to transitioning I was mostly male in my dreams occasionally female.
After I begun transitioning there was a 3 month delay between how I dreamed my body was and how it actually was meaning after I'd started growing breasts I still dreamed that I was a flat chested male.

Now my body is as it is IRL (Pre-op MTF) I'm generally seen as female however.
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auburnAubrey

interesting to see how others dream...  I am always aware of self.  It is always in the first person, and is always like real life.. (well, the feeling, not the circumstances!)

My most vivid dream of becoming female, and I'll try to keep it short, was I was at a military base with my girlfriend.  I knew there was some type of experiments going on, and after a little bit, I came to realize that I was a part of it.  I was in a flight suit while on base.  My girlfriend kept telling me I was becoming a woman, and although I knew that to be true, I kept telling her no.  I was seeing changes over a couple of days, and it was obvious.  One day, she says "You're a complete woman now!  Go look in the mirror!"..... so I went into a private bathroom, and took off my flight suit.  I was shorter, and my face was beautiful...  I took off the flight suit to reveal me in shorts and a tank top, but I was definitely a woman... breasts, hips, etc.  So I had to find out.  I stripped nude, and sure enough, I was completely a woman.  I had such a wonderful feeling at that moment... pure joy.  So, then I HAD to find out, you know, if it was real... so I lowered my hand, and touched myself... then woke up.  But the dream was SO VIVID, that I literally felt the weight of the breasts on my chest for the first half of the day... (That's how real all my dreams are)

But really, I still dream almost always as a male......  blah
"To live both the yin and the yang, the male and the female, is a divine gift." ~ Me

"Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine, and become a watershed to the world". ~ The Tao Te Ching
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Michelle G

My dreams have always been "as seen thru my eyes" also, I cant recall ever looking back at myself as someone else would see me. Over the 50 years of dealing with this I would say the dreams from MY view were mixed male/female depending on what the subject matter of the dream was, when dreaming of flying (aircraft related) it was always in boy mode, also have many dreams of grand art works and projects...those are always in girl mode! and my real life career is art based as well, and well..."me being just me" my mind has always been in "girl mode" no matter what the physical appearance to people is.

Now try and figure this one out please!
I have had this recurring dream over many many years where I am naked in crowds or otherwise normal public settings, but I am always trying desperately to find a place to hide!! They are not pleasent dreams and there is no sexual content at all...in those dreams I am neither boy nor girl...just "there" trying to hide.
Just a "California Girl" trying to enjoy each sunny day
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Nicolette

Quote from: auburnaubrey on April 29, 2012, 12:51:43 PM
Just last night I was fighting demons with Sam and Dean Winchester...

You watch that too? I'm waiting for the next season here in the UK. They are very buff indeed!

Dreams are very important to me. It's a playground for my subconscious to let rip. I can judge the state of my subconscious mind, my subconscious motives much better in dreams than in the awake state. The last few dreams have been very revealing and in a very positive way. It's like, I'm finally starting to like and accept myself for who I am.

One of the themes for many of my nightmares is where I've been constantly and instantly read. A few dreams I've been dressed in male clothing but I'm still a woman. The reoccurring nightmare has been where I've been desperate for the ladies' bathroom/toilet/restroom and can only find open plan cubicles!  I've had a few dreams where I've been some sort of amalgam of male and female. But my old male presentation? Not for a long time.
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A

Michelle G:
Quote
To dream that you are naked denotes fear of being found out and exposed over your activities. You feel that you are being misjudged.

To dream that you suddenly discover your nudity and are trying to cover up signifies your vulnerability to a situation.

To see a naked person in your dream and you are disgusted by it represents some anxiety about discovering the naked truth about that person or situation. It may also foretell of an illicit love affair, a loss of prestige or some scandalous activity. On the other hand, if you are accepting of someone else's nudity, then it implies that you can see right through them and their intentions. Or perhaps, you are completely accepting them for who they are. If you do not care about someone else's nudity, then it suggests that you need to learn not to be afraid of rejection.

*For an in depth analysis, click on  Dream Moods' Common Dreams: Naked.
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A

I just remembered this dream/nightmare I often had as a child (at least 100 times), and a little research on the website on which I found the above explanations just stunned me. So much I decided to double post I can't believe I dreamed of something so strongly connotative of transsexualism and never realized it. A few tears even came thinking of it, whilst I don't really cry often.

(Actually, this is exceedingly long and off-topic, so I'll post it on my blog instead. The link is in my signature.)
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Shang

I'm not transitioning yet (gotta get money) and so am fully physically female.  I have had maybe 2 dreams in my life that I can remember where I was female.  All of my other dreams were male.    Dreams don't have much of an emphasis for me unless there is something in them that just makes them stand out.  If they don't stand out, I consider it purely mind spew from whatever is going on in my life.
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