Hi guys! im a 20 yo gay boy and for the last year (maybe 2 i dont remember) i started fantasising about being a girl. (im gay)
The reason for this is because I'm a feminine gay man and i mostly like girly things, i would like to have long hair, pretty clothes etc... but the biggest reason why I want to be a girl is because I HATE BEING GAY AND I CANT IMAGINE MYSELF BEING HAPPY IN RELATIONSHIP WITH A GAY GUY!
That's because im so girly and I WANT TO be treated by my future boyfriend as if i was a girl... i mean i want someone dominant who would be caring and accept me being feminine... I hate when gay men expect me to be manly or say "your so manly" it pisses me off becuase i dont feel like it! id rather be called pretty than handsome. And also as a gay person i will always have to look at what areas are tolerant and what are not and if i was  agirl then i wouldnt have to care about this...

But the problem is... i do not have any gender dysphoria! I like my penis and playing with it (i dont want to use it on a man or get it sucked but i want to keep it and play with it myself) I also do not mind being a guy when it comes to having friends etc, i feel ok around people when they call me "he" etc as long as they know that im gay and accept my girly personality.
I dont know what to do i feel like if i was a girl then i could wear makeup, have nice hair and a straight boyfriend that will not expect me to be manly... and as a gay guy i cant do that If i wore makeup and dress i would look like a drag queen or something and most impoertantly people will make nasty comments ;(
just to make it clear i dont think i want SRS... i feel ok with having penis and vaginas look a bit repulsive to me ;(
So i just dont know what to do... i will never be happy ;/

I feel similarly, actually, though I'm bi. I think I might have experienced a small amount of dysphoria, but I think my problem is an overwhelming WANT to be female, though I doubt my actual transness...

If you ever find a solution, or ways to cope, tell me too. I'm all ears.

Remember, most men do not wish they were female.
Have you ever thought your lack of dysphoria may stem from your sexual desires towards men and the ability to play with yourself mirrors the way you would would want to play with others...or something of the sorts?

Gender is a spectrum and it could be that you're on the feminine side of male, in a manner of speaking. There ARE guys who prefer your type (like me, if you were closer to my age). They may not be easy to find. I would start by being really honest about what you are and what you want when you're meeting people. There are even guys who like trans women who haven't had bottom surgery.

I would be leery about pursuing transitioning as an escape from being persecuted by bigots, though. If anything, trans people have it worse than gays & lesbians in that regard. It's changing for the better but it's taking time and work and sometimes is a 3 steps forward, 2 steps back process. For that, I would suggest making friends in the LGBT world and getting support.

It wouldn't hurt to see a gender therapist or some kind of therapist if you can manage it and start by telling exactly what you told us.

I dont know jason... all i know is that my penis has NEVER ever bothered me and i like touching it and stuff.
being gay just doesnt appeal to me, i dont know if its my self acceptance problem or what.
It's like, i do not mind being a boy now but i wish i just was born a girl... HOWEVER i wouldnt want to be a lesbian girl... if i was into girls i would rather stay male or feminine male (especially that i accept my genitalia)

like i just dont know what and who i am anymore! sometimes i feel like i can stay a guy with long hair and be happy and be a boy to the rest of my life and sometimes id rather be a girl because of relationships and because of being able to express my femininty and not people wpuld also treat me normal and not as a "gay person"

Do you want to be a girl because you feel like a girl? Or do you want to be a girl so you can be treated "normally?"

You want me to be honest? I think it's all social stigma. Being gay doesn't appeal to you because our society treats it like a taboo. You want to be a girl but only because girls are suppose to like guys, you have no bad feelings about your body, and you think being girly makes you transsexual. We don't do this just because we're too feminine or too masculine, or because we like guys or girls. We most certainly don't just one day go "Oh, I guess I must be a transsexual. Time for sex change! " If I sound rude I don't mean to. If this is really bothering you then I reccomend you see a therapist.

Hormones are no joke, they will feminize your body, weaken your sex drive A LOT, and will make you infertile. A lot of that is irreversable. Never take them unless you know full well what you want to do.

Could it be that you are scared that being gay is going to lead you to unhappiness or being alone (Due to how other people see you) and wishing you were a girl is an escape from that because it simplifies everything in your life. The best thing you can do is remember that the right guy who will sweep you off your feet will come.

Hmm, You could take more minor steps to actively seem more like a feminine person that way any future date will understand straight off what you expect your role in a relationship to be.

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on April 30, 2012, 06:17:50 PM
You want me to be honest? I think it's all social stigma. Being gay doesn't appeal to you because our society treats it like a taboo. You want to be a girl but only because girls are suppose to like guys, you have no bad feelings about your body, and you think being girly makes you transsexual. We don't do this just because we're too feminine or too masculine, or because we like guys or girls. We most certainly don't just one day go "Oh, I guess I must be a transsexual. Time for sex change! " If I sound rude I don't mean to. If this is really bothering you then I reccomend you see a therapist.

Hormones are no joke, they will feminize your body, weaken your sex drive A LOT, and will make you infertile. A lot of that is irreversable. Never take them unless you know full well what you want to do.

no you dont sound rude I'm just really confused lately.. i mean i dont know any other normal gay guys that used to fantasise about being a girl, being pregnant and wearing a dress.... It is very confusing for me.
I would say my ideal look is like Britney spears a little bit but i would still want to keep my genitalia =/
So whats wrong with me? why would i rather look like a barbie doll than a masculine guy?
ahh in all honesty i wish i was just born a girl and i wouldnt have to deal with all this now There is a lot of social pressure that affects my way of thinking and im aware of that.
When i imagine myself being a girl with a penis and having sex with a man it just seems wrong... i think i would feel weird....
gosh i just dont know what to think. im overthinking everything!

the worst thing is that i imagine myself having long hair and makeup almost everyday no matter what im doing, im a weirdo

You can want to keep your genitalia and still be trans.

Honestly Im like in between on that subject. I really wish I was born with female organs. I don't really like what I have but I'm not exactly enthused about a surgery either. But if you look at statistics less have the surgery than those that do.

It kind of sounds like maybe you're just into cross dressing.. Personally? I don't want to be trans, I just want to be (and am) a girl.

There's a fundamental difference between the most effeminate of gay man and a woman... They're not women, they're gay men... Just like the most butch of dikes is not a man.

Quote from: Confusedguy55 on May 01, 2012, 06:57:14 PM
the worst thing is that i imagine myself having long hair and makeup almost everyday no matter what im doing, im a weirdo

Can you think of any possible "fit" that you would be totally comfortable living with, let alone happy with?  (Sorry, sarcasm is honestly not my intent.)  How would feel about being exactly who you are in a different, completely tolerant to start with, society?  For me the fact that you wish to be a girl, but like your penis, yet don't want to be a girl with a penis leaves almost nowhere for you to go.  Within these forums, in the relatively short time that I have been here, I have seen quite a few individuals who have labeled themselves confused; but who I felt, deep down at least, knew who they were and what they wanted.  You, however, definitely appear to be the real deal--no offense intended please.  It's usually one of the last things that I, personally, would suggest, but you might consider a professional therapist.   

Quote from: patstar on May 02, 2012, 12:37:46 AM
Can you think of any possible "fit" that you would be totally comfortable living with, let alone happy with?  (Sorry, sarcasm is honestly not my intent.)  How would feel about being exactly who you are in a different, completely tolerant to start with, society?  For me the fact that you wish to be a girl, but like your penis, yet don't want to be a girl with a penis leaves almost nowhere for you to go.  Within these forums, in the relatively short time that I have been here, I have seen quite a few individuals who have labeled themselves confused; but who I felt, deep down at least, knew who they were and what they wanted.  You, however, definitely appear to be the real deal--no offense intended please.  It's usually one of the last things that I, personally, would suggest, but you might consider a professional therapist.

Well to be honest i wish i was BORN a girl so that i would be used to having a vagina, could get pregnant (ahh my big dream haha) and be just happy! but as i was born a male and i accept my penis as it is it's obviously different and difficult.
hmm who could i be? Well is the society was normal and accepting to absolutely any self expression then i would leave my male body but would have feminine long hair, wear makeup and dresses but I would also want to be seen as a girl by males... But then i'm thinking i cant be seen as a girl by a guy if i will have this penis" lol yeah im the real deal and confused 100%.
Well sometimes i feel like i can be happy being a feminine gay guy and there are days where i do find gay sex attractive BUT sometimes when i imagine having sex with a guy and realize that im also a guy the attraction is not as strong...  because for some reason i think of gay guys as not being the "real men" ;/

may i add i always have been feminine even before i knew i was gay. as a child i would always pick female characters in games, i would secretely play dressing up games for girls and when i was little i wanted to have girly accesories such as hair band etc but even as i child i never had any dysphoria with my actual penis.

Thank you for your post Phoenix and for all these nice words!
Well to answer your question... I would leave my body as it is (but i wouldnt want to workout to have muscles etc) ... but i would still have feminine hair, clothes and i would act feminine, but i wouldnt do anything to my body if there was no one left on earth

heh its still not excatly clear to me... because when it comes to interracting with men and having sex with men id rather have a female body.... uhh
but the thing is.. i will not feel comfortable wearing makeup and all that stuff as a guy because of other people and my face would probably look too masculine haha

For what its worth, my dysphoria didnt pickup till I started trying to realize my dream of being a woman and picturing my male self as a girl.  That'll do it.

Ok guys this video I love my dick! got me really confused... Is she really a transsexual? Because everyone on this forums is constatntly telling me that i need to have gender dysphoria etc... and this girl obviously doesnt! i dont know what to think

Gender dysphoria doesn't mean "I hate my penis with a passion". Girls who don't have genital dysphoria are focused on other parts of their bodies. Also, I haven't known any non-ops on here besides Mahsa who are 100% content with their equipment.