Well, my search for a permission slip so I can get surgery continues 🙂 Today was a rather annoying experience though.

I had found a therapist who seemed rational. Said 3-5 sessions for a letter was on average how it went (which is way better than the therapist who wanted to milk me for at LEAST 12 sessions at 180 dollars each).

This therapist even was kind enough to only charge 100 dollars for a 45 minute session.. (as I had stressed that cost was an issue).

So, I went down there... drove for almost an hour... and, once she got me into the office...she says "oh, and the letter itself will be 250 dollars an hour to write...and will take 1-2 hours".

When I said that was pretty steep, asking if she could bring it down...saying she could have mentioned this before... she became defensive and said I was insulting her "professionalism". I said that simply was ridiculous and left.

This is so amazing... the people who should be helping us... are the ones trying to exploit us....and there isn't anything we can do.

Oh, and get this... the overview of what the therapy goals were to help me to be better able to make choices and accept personal responsibility for those choices.... .......... ....oh, of course, because I'm transgendered and that means I need therapy to make sure I can make choices for myself? Does being transgendered mean we are children again?

..... this entire thing is so annoying.

Ugh she sounds like a money grubbing douche. Thank god my moms works for the public sector and our insurance is trans friendly (they even cover srs!). Is there any gender clinic where you live that could refer you to a cheaper therapist?

These are the therapists the center referred me to.... I have spoken to over 5 of them now, and either they charge 250+ a session (and want a bunch of sessions), or they have crazy "minimums" on how many times they need to see me.

Basically... I'm an easy mark... they know I need a letter, so they think they can try milking all the money they can from me while they dangle the carrot in front of me.

I don't even want their "services". I'm happy... my family is accepting (even my father is coming around)... all my friends are cool with it ... everyone treats me way nicer (like stores I have been going to for years, everyone greets me and smiles and has become so much nicer)... my career is going amazing... so...

Actually... my only problem right now is that this messed up system is trying to "protect" me (from myself?). And, of course, by protect ...I mean they want me to throw one or two thousand dollars at them so they let me pass.

Making sure I can accept the consequences of my choices? Like a normal big grown up adult person? .....this has got to be some type of sick joke.

Quote from: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 05:37:31 PM
These are the therapists the center referred me to.... I have spoken to over 5 of them now, and either they charge 250+ a session (and want a bunch of sessions), or they have crazy "minimums" on how many times they need to see me.

Basically... I'm an easy mark... they know I need a letter, so they think they can try milking all the money they can from me while they dangle the carrot in front of me.

I don't even want their "services". I'm happy... my family is accepting (even my father is coming around)... all my friends are cool with it ... everyone treats me way nicer (like stores I have been going to for years, everyone greets me and smiles and has become so much nicer)... my career is going amazing... so...

Actually... my only problem right now is that this messed up system is trying to "protect" me (from myself?). And, of course, by protect ...I mean they want me to throw one or two thousand dollars at them so they let me pass.

Making sure I can accept the consequences of my choices? Like a normal big grown up adult person? .....this has got to be some type of sick joke.

I know this whole thing sounds frustrating. I understand gatekeeping for minors buti think once your eighteen it should be informed consent where you waive the right to sue or anything.

What on earth is this? 100 dollars a session? This is ridiculous! 60-80 $ is what experienced and expensive but reasonable people charge. It can go down to 40 $ or even less... Hve they no shame of charging you 100 $ a session or even more ?

And WHAT is this about doubling her price per hour when writing a letter? What, is it 2 times as hard to sit in front of your keyboard than speak with your patient and actively try to uncover and resolve issues?

I'd be pretty angry if I were in your situation. But I don't think it's an issue of gatekeeping... It's rather that those therapists are pretty damned greedy!

100 a session is the lowest I have found anyone who will do... i was getting quoted 280, 250 and things like that...

It isn't a couple money crazed therapists... it seems to be the norm here?

Basically they do it because they can. What is my option? No surgery?

It seems this is what our "protectors" have degraded into...hungry wolves who are feeding off our sittuation.

And these are the people doing it http://www.genwell.org/ ... not just some random nut, but a 'leader" for us?

I think she was actually getting off on the power trip or something...

And... still.. I'm forced to find someone and pay them for who knows how many sessions if I ever want to get a permission slip that says , like a normal adult, I am capable of taking responsibility for my own choices.

~sigh~ Without this "protection" I would have been able to get my surgery and stop taking the spiro long ago (I have negative side effects from the spiro, it is definitely affecting my quality of life).

And....they do it....because they can... that is what bugs me the most. Kind of like how they used to force gay people into therapy because they were "sick"...

Wow, I think my therapist charges $85 an hour normally but my insurance covers her (she files them as anxiety) so it is only $25.

Have you tried just a normal therapist vs a psychologist?

I don't think it's basically wrong to require a few therapy sessions for surgery, in case you're not mentally stable enough for the challenge, or something. What's really wrong is the therapists' attitudes... Sigh, I hope you find better.

Quote from: lecoeurdegrey on May 02, 2012, 05:19:17 PM
Ugh she sounds like a money grubbing douche.

+1

Nasty, money hungry, bee-ach. $250/hr... 2 hours to write? Did she fail English... Cause her Math seems to work just fine for her.

Sad. Sorry to hear that. I'd try to find someone else, if possible.

Quote from: JennX on May 02, 2012, 10:00:32 PM
+1

Nasty, money hungry, bee-ach. $250/hr... 2 hours to write? Did she fail English... Cause her Math seems to work just fine for her.

Sad. Sorry to hear that. I'd try to find someone else, if possible.

This ^  If she has worked with trans clients before then it shouldn't take 2 hours to write a letter.

-hugs-  I feel your pain Rabbit. 

I do agree that the exploitation has to stop.

If it were me in that situation I would sadly just pay but I would pay for it in change or $1 bills.   

"Heres your $500"  *pours change all over the table from a large jar* 

Oh wow... mine is 40 dollars. He writes all the recommendations I need and doesn't charge me a penny. I'm so sorry 🙁

Quote from: Rabbit on May 02, 2012, 05:09:16 PM
Well, my search for a permission slip so I can get surgery continues 🙂 Today was a rather annoying experience though.

I had found a therapist who seemed rational. Said 3-5 sessions for a letter was on average how it went (which is way better than the therapist who wanted to milk me for at LEAST 12 sessions at 180 dollars each).

This therapist even was kind enough to only charge 100 dollars for a 45 minute session.. (as I had stressed that cost was an issue).

So, I went down there... drove for almost an hour... and, once she got me into the office...she says "oh, and the letter itself will be 250 dollars an hour to write...and will take 1-2 hours".

When I said that was pretty steep, asking if she could bring it down...saying she could have mentioned this before... she became defensive and said I was insulting her "professionalism". I said that simply was ridiculous and left.

This is so amazing... the people who should be helping us... are the ones trying to exploit us....and there isn't anything we can do.

Oh, and get this... the overview of what the therapy goals were to help me to be better able to make choices and accept personal responsibility for those choices.... .......... ....oh, of course, because I'm transgendered and that means I need therapy to make sure I can make choices for myself? Does being transgendered mean we are children again?

..... this entire thing is so annoying.

Rabbit, if you don't feel comfortable posting the names if the offending therapists here, please send me a p.m. so when I field questions about SoCal therapists, I can say who to avoid.

There is nothing like "word of mouth" - good or bad. I don't think these therapists want a reputation as ripoff artists or prima donas.

Wow, that's ridiculous. It's standard for therapists who are working with clients (and not just doing a one-off assessment) to provide the letter as part of that - just like they have to do other paperwork as part of their jobs. I did laugh when I saw that she has a sliding scale fee...for people whose incomes are under $100K/yr!!

I'm a bit confused why you are seeing a master's level clinician. Will that be enough for your surgery letter?

If you are still open to considering other providers, see if the LA Gay & Lesbian Center is near you. They have a trans program, and masters & doctoral level therapists. http://laglc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=YH_MH_Transgender_Issues

Another listing is here http://home.earthlink.net/~shirleyolivia/TGResources.pdf It is a few years old, but has some good people on it. Most of them are well aware that shelling out over a thousand dollars for a letter isn't possible for many trans people.

Eh, the recommendation was from the LGBT clinic here in LA 😕 They don't have anyone on staff there that can write the letters.

I need a licensed therapist to write the letter (whatever that means). ((The therapist I walked out on today was Casey Weitzman, M.A btw...I definitely have no problem warning others away from her. I posted a review on yelp and google reviews... hopefully she won't try to exploit another clueless trans person down the road.)

Anyhow, I'll keep calling around to find someone (thanks for the new lists mrtesto! 😀 gives me some new places to try

Oy, greaaaatttt. If you feel like you have the energy, convey your experience to the people at the Center. They might not know what her "arrangements" are. And that call could have a stronger impact than yelping, too.

Max Fuhrmann (on that PDF list) is a really decent guy - PhD, I think. I don't know his costs, but my guess is that he'd be able to be clear about whether he could be useful for you.

Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 08:43:46 PM
I don't think it's basically wrong to require a few therapy sessions for surgery, in case you're not mentally stable enough for the challenge, or something. What's really wrong is the therapists' attitudes... Sigh, I hope you find better.

Or we could let people make a judgement call for themselves and stop treating adults like children.

Too much to ask for?

Yes, too much to ask for. Too many people hurt themselves by doing it wrong, or without solving something else first. They deserve to be protected.

And really, assuming the therapists are good and not greedy, what's one or two months of therapy for a life-changing surgery one has waited all their life for?

Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 11:53:16 PM
Yes, too much to ask for. Too many people hurt themselves by doing it wrong, or without solving something else first. They deserve to be protected.

And really, assuming the therapists are good and not greedy, what's one or two months of therapy for a life-changing surgery one has waited all their life for?

I agree that it should be in place for the surgery. However, I think hrt should all be Informed Consent for people of age who are deemed ''mentally competent''. A lot of late transitioners regret some masculization effects that could have been prevented 😕

I am the first of these. But that "mentally competent" status needs therapy to be assessed and eventually treated - because many, if not most, trans people do have some related issues to treat.

Of course, the deliberate waiting and such are worthless, but therapy is not. I think prescribing blockers then full HRT after assessment would be a good way to do things.

Quote from: A on May 02, 2012, 11:59:30 PM
I am the first of these. But that "mentally competent" status needs therapy to be assessed and eventually treated - because many, if not most, trans people do have some related issues to treat.

Of course, the deliberate waiting and such are worthless, but therapy is not. I think prescribing blockers then full HRT after assessment would be a good way to do things.

True. I mean having srs ain't for sissies. I mean have you seen the right after pictures? oi~!