Quote from: A on May 04, 2012, 12:11:20 AM
Alainaluvsu, I don't think looking for a job as female is the problem... Rather, looking for one as an effeminate man. Really, it should be easier afterwards.

Well, unless they see the M on the ID, and see the features and go.... huh... interesting

Hm, I've never had to show an ID for a job, though.

Pardon the long post in your thread, but this was something that really affected my decision to finally just go full-time!

There are a few reasons I didn't fight. One, I was a contractor and did not work directly for the hospital. All outward appearances said I was with the hospital, but I was actually with a medical staffing company. This is actually very common in US healthcare,  and elsewhere too...way more than you may think!

Second, after running it by others the advice I hated to hear was that I was just under 90 days, so they can remove employees simply due to the "probationary" period and do not need justificaton. (This is the same back home so it took me at no surprise really).

Finally, I had to find work! I lost that position at a critical point, having been on hormones just 4 months. It was a huge blow. Now I did meet with the company president and explained to her just what had happened. I also held my employer accountable for money they owed me, and she even gave my Christmas bonus three weeks ahead (which is EXACTLY what that bit about your boss feeling guilty reminded me of...I could taste the guilt!!). I truly understood her dilemma as the issue was not with me, but that the hospital have a right to say "we do not want that person." What went on behind the scenes is easy to speculate, but its impossible to prove. In short, even though my boss knew what it was all really about, the reasons cited by the doctor were left open to interpretation. Interpretation, as they say, is half of the law and In the end I also needed a good reference from someone local...so I dared not ruin it!

I do agree that working as an effeminate man was more difficult than being a full time trans woman. People seemed offed by their inability to figure out exactly what to do about me...they were confused. Now a few people do know I'm trans, and I have inevitably encountered some wankers who have nothing better than to harass someone who is different...but I find those dim-wittes types tend inherently to have very visible flaws, and I make fast work of them.

Alaina, The saying goes "one door closes and another opens".  This is a new beginning for you. Welcome it, embrace it. Start planning now about your new job and the rest of your life as a lady!

Quote from: MiaOhMya! on May 04, 2012, 04:35:32 AM
Pardon the long post in your thread, but this was something that really affected my decision to finally just go full-time!

There are a few reasons I didn't fight. One, I was a contractor and did not work directly for the hospital. All outward appearances said I was with the hospital, but I was actually with a medical staffing company. This is actually very common in US healthcare,  and elsewhere too...way more than you may think!

Second, after running it by others the advice I hated to hear was that I was just under 90 days, so they can remove employees simply due to the "probationary" period and do not need justificaton. (This is the same back home so it took me at no surprise really).

Finally, I had to find work! I lost that position at a critical point, having been on hormones just 4 months. It was a huge blow. Now I did meet with the company president and explained to her just what had happened. I also held my employer accountable for money they owed me, and she even gave my Christmas bonus three weeks ahead (which is EXACTLY what that bit about your boss feeling guilty reminded me of...I could taste the guilt!!). I truly understood her dilemma as the issue was not with me, but that the hospital have a right to say "we do not want that person." What went on behind the scenes is easy to speculate, but its impossible to prove. In short, even though my boss knew what it was all really about, the reasons cited by the doctor were left open to interpretation. Interpretation, as they say, is half of the law and In the end I also needed a good reference from someone local...so I dared not ruin it!

I do agree that working as an effeminate man was more difficult than being a full time trans woman. People seemed offed by their inability to figure out exactly what to do about me...they were confused. Now a few people do know I'm trans, and I have inevitably encountered some wankers who have nothing better than to harass someone who is different...but I find those dim-wittes types tend inherently to have very visible flaws, and I make fast work of them.

Kind of confused on who to be mad at then, huh? As far as my boss, I kinda know to be leery of him because he was just especially unforgiving towards me. I can't explain it, he just seemed to stack stuff on me I hated and he KNEW I hated, as if he was trying to run me off. And if I made the smallest mistake or did something a way he wouldn't have done, he "corrected" me in a way I felt was just ... idk like he was talking to me like a teenager.

Quote from: Dale on May 04, 2012, 07:19:52 AM
Alaina, The saying goes "one door closes and another opens".  This is a new beginning for you. Welcome it, embrace it. Start planning now about your new job and the rest of your life as a lady!

I am, I can't wait! I hope things go wonderfully with me I really hope my financial aid will be enough to pay down on my car enough to get a part time job instead of a full time job. 70 hours of school + work a week is exhausting!!!

And thanks for both of your input. They're both encouraging

This is something that i admit worries.me quite a bit. I work in a male dominated field (driving 18 wheelers) and the company has no lgbt discrimination polices and is based out of a state that lacks them too. Being "right to work" rules basically they can fire anyonw for any reason. One example of this was a person with several years with this company parked in front of an adult store (many have truck parking) and this was considered immoral and they were fired.

I am not very far along in my transition but, I have been really trying to figure out what I can do to get wome sort of legal protections with my unfortunate skillset. I really don't want to deal with being an independent contractor or have to find a local company in a state with some better laws...

Alaina, do not look back.  If what you do feels right then keep moving forward.  If you look back you will be caught in a loop.  Not sure how to handle in-between mode.  Some people will accept you and you need to spend time with them.  Others will end their friendship because of how you feel.  Not easy.

Quote from: wendy on May 05, 2012, 06:14:46 PM
Alaina, do not look back.  If what you do feels right then keep moving forward.  If you look back you will be caught in a loop.  Not sure how to handle in-between mode.  Some people will accept you and you need to spend time with them.  Others will end their friendship because of how you feel.  Not easy.

I love the advice. This is an opportunity for me, as i see it. Im gonna make the best of it. Im sooo over he whole "I hope people dont look at me funny" stage... well it effects me, but only that if they clock me, it just stirs up the whole "WHY CANT I BE PRETTIER"" thoughs. Inbetween mode isnt killing me yet. Everybody important has been super great about it.