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Decreased anxiety when dressing as male while on HRT?

Started by Erin, May 14, 2012, 08:45:25 PM

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Erin

So I haven't been on hrt long, and know this is more a mental effect attributed just to taking the step of hrt, but did any of you get more comfortable dressing as male while going on hrt? For me I thought I would dread having to wait two more years before going full time but now I look at it like a challenge. I passed pretty often as a lesbian or FTM( amongst queer circles) pre-hrt but I think passing frequently as a girl while dressing up all guyish is kind of like knowing when you have truly arrived. Once you can pass without makeup or dresses or any of the frills I feel like it just gives you that confidence boost ^^ *end of rant*
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kelly_aus

I can't answer your question specifically, I'd stopped dressing as a guy a while before I started hormones..

But I can kinda relate.. About 2 weeks ago, for reasons not worth mentioning, I went out dressed as a guy.. A nice grey pinstripe suit, black shirt and nice pair of shoes.. And I didn't hate it.. It felt a little odd, I haven't worn guys clothes in a while.. But after a little while I was completely comfortable..
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eli77

I'm full time and I generally wear a mix of boy and girl clothes. It's funny, I used to despise wearing and shopping for boy clothes when I had to, and now that I don't have to, I like it. I'm always like "ooo shiny" whenever I look at the men's sections of stores now. Maybe I'm just contrary. Grass is always greener?

Quote from: Erin on May 14, 2012, 08:45:25 PM
Once you can pass without makeup or dresses or any of the frills I feel like it just gives you that confidence boost

Ya, that was cool for a little while, I don't really pay much attention anymore. I like knowing that I CAN'T pass as a guy though. That helps with the dysphoria.
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Alainaluvsu

I pass probably 80% of the time when dressed in male clothes, no makeup (as long as my facial hair isn't *too* visible). I hate wearing them in public, but it does feel good when I get maam'd while wearing mens clothes. It's wonderful for confidence levels when you're in boy mode and your friends who don't know you're trans need to correct people when they "mis gender" you....
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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mementomori

i dont get the need to wear male clothes , cant you just wear girls pants and a button up womens top ? i know heaps of people who are male who never wears clothes from the mens section who arent actually planning on transitioning
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Assoluta

I've only had this situation where I've been to a drag party and everyone dresses as the opposite gender, rather amusing. Also a random piece of information related to this, you will notice that a female blouse has buttons on the left and holes on the right, while a male shirt has buttons on the right and holes on the left. Allegedly it was to do with the fact that servant maids would dress wealthy women in the old days, and buttons on the left facilitated this.
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mementomori

Quote from: Assoluta on May 15, 2012, 03:37:47 AM
I've only had this situation where I've been to a drag party and everyone dresses as the opposite gender, rather amusing. Also a random piece of information related to this, you will notice that a female blouse has buttons on the left and holes on the right, while a male shirt has buttons on the right and holes on the left. Allegedly it was to do with the fact that servant maids would dress wealthy women in the old days, and buttons on the left facilitated this.

i knew this too :) a lot of people dont one woman pointed out how i am wearing a female top at work years ago and i was just like " yea it is , so what? "

its funny how people point out that stuff like your going to be ashamed/ care about it
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Erin

Too make a long,complicated story short, if I wore hurls clothes and the people in my living situation noticed that than I would jus go full time. Also, in that case I would have to get another apartment.
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spacial

May I ask you why you feel any need to wear what other want to see?

If you want to wear whatever, then provided it's legal and just about decent then, it really your choice. That is, after all what we are here for.
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Carbon

QuoteOnce you can pass without makeup or dresses or any of the frills I feel like it just gives you that confidence boost ^^ *end of rant*

I think it's important to remember that many trans women and even many non-trans women never get to the point where they can do that consistently. I think people have a tendency to go "male" when they're not sure.
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Nicolette

If for some unfathomable reason I had to dress in a pinstripe suit, it would be with style, Marlene Dietrich style:
http://vavoomvintage.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/friday-fashionistas-marlene-dietrich.html

I wore gender neutral clothes for a couple of years until the point where no mis-gender was made. At that point, I was pretty satisfied and very gradually added more female stuff, although I'm really just a jeans and pretty top/t-shirt person.

But what exactly is this dressing as male? Many females I know dress as "male" and have never questioned their own identity.
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Erin

Quote from: spacial on May 15, 2012, 07:34:48 AM
May I ask you why you feel any need to wear what other want to see?

If you want to wear whatever, then provided it's legal and just about decent then, it really your choice. That is, after all what we are here for.

I'd rather not go into it but I have a timeline for this sort of thing and I don't plan going full time until after I finish my nursing program.

Maybe dressing male isn't a good descriptor. I think I mean "presenting male"
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Erin on May 15, 2012, 09:27:02 AM
I'd rather not go into it but I have a timeline for this sort of thing and I don't plan going full time until after I finish my nursing program.

When I first started HRT, I thought the same thing... Finish school, find somewhere to live far away, transition, and immediately move. But those little pills changed that so much. They made it more difficult to live as a guy than it did to live as a girl, both emotionally and tangibly. I'm not saying to abandon your plan, but be prepared to.

Not only can the physical changes make it tough, but estrogen can seriously make you sick to your stomach to live in boy mode. Once people started using the female pronouns and greetings with me, I wanted NO part of being referred to as a guy in ANY situation.

Just be prepared. Get laser / electro NOW. Get clothes NOW. Get make up NOW. I didn't, and now I'm pretty much fully transitioned with facial hair (just got my first laser session a couple weeks ago) and only a few outfits after being fired from my job (quite possibly because I'm starting to look like a female). Don't let your plans get in the way.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Erin

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on May 15, 2012, 02:46:21 PM
When I first started HRT, I thought the same thing... Finish school, find somewhere to live far away, transition, and immediately move. But those little pills changed that so much. They made it more difficult to live as a guy than it did to live as a girl, both emotionally and tangibly. I'm not saying to abandon your plan, but be prepared to.

Not only can the physical changes make it tough, but estrogen can seriously make you sick to your stomach to live in boy mode. Once people started using the female pronouns and greetings with me, I wanted NO part of being referred to as a guy in ANY situation.

Just be prepared. Get laser / electro NOW. Get clothes NOW. Get make up NOW. I didn't, and now I'm pretty much fully transitioned with facial hair (just got my first laser session a couple weeks ago) and only a few outfits after being fired from my job (quite possibly because I'm starting to look like a female). Don't let your plans get in the way.

O I have electrolysis twenty minutes weekly and luckily I was pretty hairless. As for makeup and clothes I have that stuff (I really want to meet these girls that jump into transition head first cause you gotta admit that's pretty ballsy xD )
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Erin on May 15, 2012, 06:08:52 PM
O I have electrolysis twenty minutes weekly and luckily I was pretty hairless. As for makeup and clothes I have that stuff (I really want to meet these girls that jump into transition head first cause you gotta admit that's pretty ballsy xD )

Oh good. Then if it gets hard for you to pass as a guy, you wont have much trouble, that's good.

What's jumping in head first?
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Julie Wilson

Quote from: Erin on May 14, 2012, 08:45:25 PM
So I haven't been on hrt long, and know this is more a mental effect attributed just to taking the step of hrt, but did any of you get more comfortable dressing as male while going on hrt? For me I thought I would dread having to wait two more years before going full time but now I look at it like a challenge.


Of course you are going to feel better when you are actively doing something towards your goals.  That and the relief of having the right hormones in your blood and blocking the wrong ones with drugs.

I was such a Scared Chicken Little that I did HRT and intended to live as male for ever.  A year after I had SRS I got so frustrated that I overcame my cowardice and transitioned.
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: Erin on May 14, 2012, 08:45:25 PM
So I haven't been on hrt long, and know this is more a mental effect attributed just to taking the step of hrt, but did any of you get more comfortable dressing as male while going on hrt? For me I thought I would dread having to wait two more years before going full time but now I look at it like a challenge. I passed pretty often as a lesbian or FTM( amongst queer circles) pre-hrt but I think passing frequently as a girl while dressing up all guyish is kind of like knowing when you have truly arrived. Once you can pass without makeup or dresses or any of the frills I feel like it just gives you that confidence boost ^^ *end of rant*

That used to happen to me an awful lot too before I started transition. Dressing in guy clothes (levis, rock T shirt & denim jacket) can often highlight your feminine features. This was back in the days when people in shops or supermarkets would look at your bank cards, 'madam why are you carrying a male bank card'? 'is it your husbands card'?
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Kelly J. P.

 I'm fairly ... uncomfortable with my chest; because of how little development I have receieved so far, bras tend to ride up, which quickly becomes a nuisance with a side of demoralization. However, I noticed that not wearing a bra helps me forget about my lack of development, paradoxically, but I look strange in girl tops with no bra, so... when lounging around the house... a guy top can both relieve how I feel about my breasts, and keep me looking normal - because the material is thicker, I also don't have to worry about being indecent without a bra.

Oh, how I wish for breast growth. :P
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JoanneB

I had to think on this one for a bit. I think yes, I actually did start not to hate looking at the male self after a while on HRT. It took about a year or so in my case. I really don't think it was because of any physical changes. I believe it had to do with the vastly increased feelings of self-esteem and self-worth that grew over that period plus a few more positive emotional side effects.
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JohnnieRamona

This is sort of my game plan too- Start HRT and lazer while still presenting as male... for a few months, a year, until I either feel comfortable going "full-time" or I start getting ma'amd in "boy mode." What have been peoples' experiences taking that route?
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