Quote from: Malachite on April 28, 2012, 11:19:47 PM
Hopefully I'll be okay.  Sorry your dad did that to you..  My father is a pain to deal with 98 percent of the time because he thinks the world revolves around him.  There is no winning with that man.  If I say something he doesn't agree with he dismisses it as "crazy talk".

First thing: I want to B**** slap him because he should listen to his son

Secondly: I think our parents are secretly communicating to each other....that or the goverments brainwashing people and we some how missed that memo

There's always a way out, hon.

Your father seems to be the kind of person who is, with all due respect, ignorant of his own ignorance. That's usually the worst because such people don't believe they need to learn, thinking they already know.

In which case, all the talking in the world is just a waste of your time and energy since their minds are already made up and "no one's gonna tell me different." Perhaps the best thing to do is let your actions prove your resolve. After all, they speak louder than words.

Keep doing what you're doing and be patient. Every step you take towards achieving your goals is a step in the right direction, even the littlest thing that seems insignificant at the time. Every penny saved is a very tangible expression of intent. Every inquiry made shows you're being proactive in your approach.

You don't have to win with your father, hon. Eventually the weight of evidence of your sincerity and determination will be too much for him to ignore and then he'll come to realise the obvious - that it isn't a game and you're deadly serious. Or he won't. Either way, it's your life, not his.

*hug* Hang in there, see every step you take as part of the larger picture, plan for that final outcome and when it feels hopeless, remember that circumstances change, things won't always be the way they are now. With the determination you quite obviously possess, it's only a matter of time. And in the end, it's inevitable.

Quote from: Sephirah on April 29, 2012, 01:07:16 AM
There's always a way out, hon.

Your father seems to be the kind of person who is, with all due respect, ignorant of his own ignorance. That's usually the worst because such people don't believe they need to learn, thinking they already know.

In which case, all the talking in the world is just a waste of your time and energy since their minds are already made up and "no one's gonna tell me different." Perhaps the best thing to do is let your actions prove your resolve. After all, they speak louder than words.

Keep doing what you're doing and be patient. Every step you take towards achieving your goals is a step in the right direction, even the littlest thing that seems insignificant at the time. Every penny saved is a very tangible expression of intent. Every inquiry made shows you're being proactive in your approach.

You don't have to win with your father, hon. Eventually the weight of evidence of your sincerity and determination will be too much for him to ignore and then he'll come to realise the obvious - that it isn't a game and you're deadly serious. Or he won't. Either way, it's your life, not his.

*hug* Hang in there, see every step you take as part of the larger picture, plan for that final outcome and when it feels hopeless, remember that circumstances change, things won't always be the way they are now. With the determination you quite obviously possess, it's only a matter of time. And in the end, it's inevitable.

-hugs-  You are so right Sephirah.  This is something I plan to do whether him or anyone else in my family for that matter agree or not.  If they chose to have a dead daughter instead of a happier son then that is their issue and not mine.  Good things do come to those who wait.  When the time comes when I can look at all my money and circumstances and say "dang.... I can do this now." they are not going to hold me back.  Waiting sucks but this is valuable time to start planning everything.

Quote from: casey on April 29, 2012, 01:18:56 AM
He seems stubborn, but he also seems like a caring man who just doesn't understand. I have a strong feeling that he will come around in time.

To a certain extent he cares.  I won't say that he's 100 percent a bad father but he has never been there for me emotional support wise....ever.  I can get more emotional support from a toaster than him.  I really hope your feeling is right.  I feel like he's a dad because he "has" to be instead of he wants to.  I've even asked him one time if he regrets having me and my autistic brother and he said, "that's a trick question....I would have picked a different mom for yall."  He only starts coming around when he realizes that I'm so mad at him at times than I'm an inch from disowning him and he doesn't want that.

Quote from: Malachite on April 29, 2012, 01:24:45 AM
I can get more emotional support from a toaster than him.

Quote from: Felix on April 29, 2012, 11:23:35 PM

Is that like a place to hide a body or something lol....Follow the toaster he will lead you to unknown fortunes

Sorry to hear your dad is so unresponsive.  Eventually you will be in a position to start an independent life and you won't have to take his opinion into account.  Hang in there lad, and out-stubborn him.

Hug from Aunty Karen.

Thanks everyone! 

Quote from: JayKyle on April 29, 2012, 11:31:53 PM


Is that like a place to hide a body or something lol....Follow the toaster he will lead you to unknown fortunes

No, it's the "Brave Little Toaster".

Hopefully this isn't too far off - but can I just say how much I respect your posting your top job savings. Even if you need to use it for something else, dude, you are paving your own way out, brick by brick.

Quote from: Malachite on April 29, 2012, 01:24:45 AM
To a certain extent he cares.  I won't say that he's 100 percent a bad father but he has never been there for me emotional support wise....ever.  I can get more emotional support from a toaster than him.

Completely irrelevent to the subject but that reminded me of something, I thought it might make you smile.

Quote from: MrTesto on April 30, 2012, 10:05:33 PM
Hopefully this isn't too far off - but can I just say how much I respect your posting your top job savings. Even if you need to use it for something else, dude, you are paving your own way out, brick by brick.

Thanks mate.  I'm really trying to save up even if it does have to go to a gender therapist.  Either or would put me on the right path so I'm trying my best not to touch it.   

@Sephirah thanks for the video.  It really made me laugh.

Here's an update on the topic that didn't warrant a new thread:

I just got off the phone with him again and things got slightly more heated.

He still kept telling me that it's all in my head and I can either sort it out or pay $80 for someone else to.  He also said that it's wrong and it's again the Bible and I held my ground and told him no it's not.  I actually told him that if I don't get help I am probably going to kill myself eventually and he said something along the lines of "you're not going to kill yourself and that would cost more money for your funeral". 

Then he told me that I go either one way or the other and that I'm either straight or gay and however I go is just what I choose.  He told me to stop making things complex.  I told him that my sexual orientation and gender are two different things and that I'm TRANSGENDER!  He said "do you know what that is?  That is a woman who lives and dresses as a man or a man who lives and dresses as a woman."  That really upset me and begged him to please let me educate him on the subject and not to use "old school ways".  He told me that these school ways will always be the same.  Again he kept telling me he know a ton of ladies at work "like that" and his girlfriend's neice who is pregant again.  I told him to please stop comparing me to other people because I am not them and he says he isn't comparing me.  My father is a [censored] lunatic.  I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

He obviously has no clue what he is saying because first he said that transgender people are people born with both female and male parts.  It's technically his fault since he didn't give me the Y chomosome.

I told him that I just wanted support from him and he told me "for what?"  I said moral support because I didn't want to go through this alone.  He told me that I'm going to have to.

Sorry if it seems like a rehash but I just needed to vent.

He was on his way to his house so he said I can call him in about two hours.  That way I can give a better update then.  It will probably just be the same argument though or he will use the excuse that he doesn't want to talk about it because he girlfriend is home. 

Quote from: casey on May 18, 2012, 09:31:56 PM
Ughh. Sorry you have to deal with this. But you know, he may understand in the end. It sounds like he cares a lot about just doing what's "normal." He probably has something or other that makes him different, that makes him feel like he needs to fit in.

You have more faith in him than I do.  I'm more prepared to part with my top surgery money for therapy now that when I first started this thread.  Ideally I would like to get my my T and Top surgery letter during therapy but it concerns me.  I have no clue who my endo will be or even the location I will move to so I have no idea of verifiying if they (or even Dr. Garramone) will accept my letters or the therapist that I go to dies or quits so they reject the letters because they can't contact them so it's almost as the letters "expiring" in a sense.

He's getting to you. Remember how much more you are than what he makes of you.

Quote from: Felix on May 19, 2012, 03:24:34 PM
He's getting to you. Remember how much more you are than what he makes of you.

I'm trying to but I wish I could just show him that I'm serious.  Stupid time.