Something I was wondering: do you think people like us have an increased likelihood of having poor/less well developed social skills?

My thinking goes something like this: the teenage years are important in developing many things, including social skills. This period of a person's life is also difficult enough as it is. Now when you add in growing up in the wrong body and going through puberty in the wrong direction it can lead to all kinds of insecurities, low self esteem, etc. as a result of which social skills are more likely to not develop as much as they otherwise might.

Plausible or am I on the wrong track here?

Looking at myself I certainly would put myself in that category.

Makes sense to me.

I fit in there.

I think so. I became very introverted in my teenage years. I turned to creativity in many forms as an outlet. I am now the eccentric that can solve everyone's problems....except for my own. 

To me yes.

I wasn't tough enough to fit in with the guys and was too manly to fit in with the girls so I was a loner.  Plus I was always picked on for my weight even up to my senior year.

It also hindered me from making friends and the friends I do make I naturally push them away because I'm afraid they are just going to push me away first and I want to beat them to the punch.

Now I don't want much to do with people.  I'm very introverted which is why I find it hard to find a job.  I want to be a stock person or a dishwasher so I don't have to talk to a lot of people.  I'm terrified to be a cashier or walking around to people asking if they need help.  Don't get me wrong I will do it and it's not a bad thing but if I can I just want to keep to myself.


You are on the right track.

I think to some extent yes.  I know for me, keeping my secret was hard.  Better to not have friends than slip up and let it out.

Even now, I am a little stand-offish, because there is still one little thing left.  But I am coming to accept myself s a woman with a penis.  And one day I will be without it.

I think it's really hard to prove this sort of thing, but it makes sense.  I wonder how long it'll take to get a counterexample.

I'm certainly not a counterexample.

I think the theory makes sense, but it doesn't apply to me. 

I am very introverted, but my parents and I can pinpoint it starting when I was 4 after I became paralyzed from the chin down.  At that point in time I became heavily introverted and am just now coming out of it because of many tips to the psychologist and making myself overcome the anxiety.  Due to me being introverted and just not having the ability to always grasp things, my social skills are somewhat lacking.  Chances are that if I hadn't come down with GBS then I wouldn't have the horrible social skills that I have.

I agree with the premise. Growing up, I had a really difficult time due to CSA and such, so I never really learned a lot of things that most people take for granted.

That being said...I really identify with that bumper sticker, "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog".




...Except I don't have a dog...I'm more of a cat-person.

I'm not extroverted, but I feel like I do well in social situations.  I grew up as an Air Force brat; for me, being able to fit into various groups was a survival skill.

It took me a long time to develop normal social skills and be able to keep conversations with people who I didn't always share much interest with. I always had a lot of insecurities due to my gender, I felt uncomfortable around "manly" talk and whenever I was about to start to act a bit more feminine, I kind of held back and kept to myself. While I have gained more confidence through the years, I'm sure after transitioning I will have a much easier time with people relating to me because they know that I'm a girl.

I actually became much more social, and developed excellent social skills. This was necessary so I could live two lives. One with my feminine side, and one being the guy people expected me to be. I am very outgoing, and was almost always at a party. Many of which I hosted. So basically in order to cope, I learned to be very social. I can now "fit in" with just about anyone. I know how to act the part of a guy so well that my parents had no idea I am not really one. When I act as myself, people have a hard time seeing me as I guy ( even though I look like one).

 I would agree...

I have terrible social skills, so what I do is I just speak my mind and be myself. Somehow, it usually ends terribly; I wonder why? 

I'm also paranoid, and have some serious trust issues when it comes to making friends. Additionally, I am very defensive around most people, and I can very clearly see how these traits were born.

That's not to say I can't socialize properly... but I will say that it is difficult.

I totally agree with you, and think your on the right track here. I'm definitely in that category, and am pretty sure I suffer from some sort of mild social anxiety at times because of it.

It's the same for me, but then again, I was always kinda shy and I'm sure that didn't help any.  I had a couple close friends and some acquaintances in high school but generally kept to myself.  Over the years I've gotten better and have become more open and sociable, but I still don't really like talking to strangers much in real life.  Conversations always seem to become awkward, so when I'm working or something I tend to just smile and nod...

Seems very plausible to me. Just like many of you I went through the whole getting picked on/unpopular thing in school because I was "different"  and learned to keep to myself. Even today i'd much rather curl up with a good book than go to a party.

I'm bigender, and when i'm in girl mode - she's quite the social person and wants to get out and party and have fun.

So i have both ends of the spectrum.

Sounds reasonable and goes in line with a good bit of what I've thought personally but mileage varies. I was able to pick up most of the social cues pretty fast once I was able to stop paying attention to "oh my god do they know!?!"

For me what I got was a lot of anxiety. I kind of ran away from the world at a young age because I did not fit in with a male peer group and it just made me very uncomfortable.

I still have good social skills, just a lot of accompanying anxiety because I am not familiar with a lot of social environments  .

Yeah I think this is true.

I find it very hard to talk to the macho guys now and I think this was because I didnt have any male friends as a teenager. I decided to be as quiet as possible because I knew then at the age of 11 that something wasnt quite right with me and I worried I would be bullied for it. So the only friends I made were those who approached me and they were girls. I spent a lot of my teenage years wishing I had a male friend or even just a tomboy who I could talk to about my more masculine interests. I get very nervous when typical guys approach me now because im not really sure how to talk to them. I always feel as if I am being graded on my masculinity and humour when im around them. Having said that I feel way more at ease around geekish guys because I know (being a geek myself) theres a level ground there that I can get at.

As for girls, I find them very easy to talk to for the most part. I am typically very jokey with them and pull pranks quite a lot. Infact one girl prior to me coming out commented that I was 'just like a little boy' haha.  I really like being to talk to girls so easily on a friendly level but I just wish I could fit in as easily with guys.

Your feelings about your masculinity being judged when around macho guys is accurate.  They are constantly judging the masculinity of the men around them.  It is an alpha sort of thing.  The best thing to do, is to be yourself.  Once they see your are confident with who you are, they will accept it.  Only the real jerks don't, and you don't want to be friends with them.  It is quite easy to fool guys.  Their brains are simple.  They look to see who is on top, and then try to beat them (if they are alpha).  If they are not alpha, they look to see who is, and then just accept it.  I have worked with alpha males for more than ten years.  It is quite easy to fit in once you pin down who is on top.