I've realized a big difference in how I handle emotions since being on T. FYI, Recently I had to take my dog that I've lived with and loved for 9yrs to the pound due to various circumstances. I was living in my mothers house and she wasn't paying the rent and the lady she was buying the house from gave us a week to get out and I couldn't find anyone to take him and were I moved to I can't have him.

Before T if something like this were to happen ex:when my cat that I had for 3 months had a seizure and died in my arms, I sobbed for days and couldn't get any sleep or go back in my bedroom where he died.

But Shadow I've had forever I don't remember a time without him and the day I took him to the pound I cried all day but now I just don't think about it. It's like I'm trying to bury my emotions without really realizing it...when I start to think of him I just tell myself to bury it because it causes to much pain. I've noticed this since being on T every strong emotion that I start to feel I just let it go because I can't cope. My emotions like sadness, anger, hatred...are much stronger and more intense so much so that I can't handle it.

Have any of you since starting T felt a change in how you handled your emotions? Or felt a change in how strong your emotions were?

So sorry to hear about your dog

I'm not sure what influence all of the hormones have on emotions. I'm certainly more weepy on HRT than I was before my T was killed. But many people say that how we deal with emotions is also what is expected by society. I have read a number of articles saying guys are just if not more emotional than woman, they just bottle them up. I'm not sure if that is due to T or it is the manly thing to do. Men don't take well to men who become emotional unless it is a massive thing, like losing a football game  . While many woman get a lot of happiness having a good cry at a movie.

Also sorry to hear about your dog.

Since starting T I don't feel so depressed. I'm so much more content w/my life, much more confident as well. I talk more in my classes as well as at work.

Strangely when things bother me I get frustrated quicker though am also able to let whatever bothered me go just as fast.

On crying: there's been a few things happen that might have made me cry pre-t, but those things haven't caused me to shed tears since starting T. It's more of a sad feeling when those things manage to pop up. I'll acknowledge it& move forward. It sounds weird to describe it this way but I feel much more efficient -like the heavier of emotions come& then they are gone - I prefer this very much so over the pre-t way of things though.

I used to be super repressed before I started therapy. I had to work pretty hard with my therapist to get in touch with my emotions. I was making progress, too. Then I started T and my emotions were...all messed up. I couldn't cry. I was aggressive and competitive. I was easy to anger.

I had to relearn how to cry. I have toned down the aggressiveness. I still get the anger, and I'm still learning how to cope with it and tone it down.

When I put the Big Guy down last summer, I cried as I held him. I was relatively calm after that, not like I would have been before T. Before T, if something big set me off, I would just cry and hate myself. Now I half hate it and half think it's natural.

Getting loopy...my sleeping pill is kicking in. "Time...to...die."

Quote from: Cindy James on May 20, 2012, 02:31:25 AM
But many people say that how we deal with emotions is also what is expected by society. I have read a number of articles saying guys are just if not more emotional than woman, they just bottle them up. I'm not sure if that is due to T or it is the manly thing to do. Men don't take well to men who become emotional unless it is a massive thing, like losing a football game  . While many woman get a lot of happiness having a good cry at a movie.

I belive homones has a certain effect on our emotions but I also feel alot is about how we are suposed to act in sociaty.
generally I am alittle more emotional on E than on T, its both good and bad, good cause in the start I liked the thing about being able to feel the emotion, and find it easy to cry and get out with your fellings.
bad because it tend to make me feel depressed.

but as I wrotte I feel most of it still are in the sociaty matters.

Men are suposed to be strong, and women are suposed to be protiected. I find it pretty discriminating for both parts.
first of all it aplyes that women are "weak" in a non-dicriminating way (which as I see it is discriminating when we get to the bottom of it)

second is, that it dosent allow men to show emotions.
even early in my transition (where I still was readed much as a female) I remember knowing a girl I had fellings for, and what I hated about her was the fact she was very weak and emotional, it was like wrotted on her front, so I should always fell for her, but nobody should ever fell for me.
If I hurted her then I was a jerk and she was poor, if she hurted me then it was probably because I hurted her first and I should just suck it up.

this kind of situations who happents everywere..

Oh yes, T has definitely changed me emotionally. For one, I'm way more confident and comfortable with myself and don't get nearly as much dysphoria as I did pre-t (most of my pre-t dysphoria had to do with my menstrual cycle though).

In addition to that I seem to have lost a bit of empathy. Don't get me wrong, I still care for people a lot, it's just in my nature, but I guess I've become more blunt and assertive with saying things. I hope that made sense.

My pain tolerance has also increased. (Example: the other day I was playing basketball and my nose got hit really hard and I felt it starting to bleed and I teared up a bit. The pain was there, however, it was like I didn't care and just sucked it up and kept playing lol. Pre-t I would've just punk'd out and stopped playing.)
On that subject, I've also become way more competitive. I used to hate playing with the other guys and they'd get so competitive lol.

I haven't been able to actually cry about anything sad since I started T. (Example: I watched this really sad movie a while ago (The Boy in the Striped Pajamas) and the ending was so sad, but it was like no matter how bad I wanted to cry I just couldn't.)


I've just generally become more rock solid emotionally. I used to be so fragile and anything could changed my mood, but now my only moods seem to be calm, super focused/set on something, and angry lol. I need to work on controlling my temper now too.

**edit**
I forgot to mention that I have a stronger feeling of having to protect my family/loved ones now. I've always felt so, but now it's like I'd get hit by a bus for one of them with no second thoughts/hesitation what-so-ever.

I'm very curious as to what's going to happen to my emotions when I get on T (possibly two weeks from tomorrow!).  I already tell people I think I'm 1/4 Vulcan (jokingly, of course.  I'm not THAT big of a nerd).  I cried pretty easily in elementary school, but that was more from being a frustrated perfectionist than an emotional wreck.  When I calmed down on the perfectionism in middle school, my emotions got very muted.  All through middle and high school everyone always told me I never show my emotions and now my boss and co-workers always point it out to me.  I always take it as a compliment, but sometimes it worries me that I don't seem as affected by things as others and it makes me feel a little less than human.  It also frustrates me when I have trouble understanding emotional motivations and actions.  I mean, I'm good at recognizing emotions in others and responding appropriately, so I'm not autistic or anything.  I just don't usually empathize.  It's more of an intellectual understanding and a well-chosen reaction based on that.  I'm a little worried that I might become a total heartless robot on T, but I also think that'd be pretty cool.  Then maybe I could tell people I'm 1/2 Vulcan and just had my ears fixed...

PS-- Oh yeah-- sorry about your dog.  I held my dog I had for 13 years as the vet put her to sleep.  I didn't cry and knew it was necessary, but it was very hard.  You'll always have your memories with him.

I balled my eyes out for hours for each of my two rats after about 3 years (that's a little on the high side of an expected lifespan for domesticated rats) when they had to be euthanized due to serious health problems and suffering. I felt silly, losing it that badly over rats, but I couldn't stop myself.

My dad said I was very sensitive from a very young age, and never made it out like that was a bad thing. He seemed to respect that about me. I am coming to realize how true it is. I can't even begin to convey what a basket-case I was when my sister died. That's when I had my first panic attack.

QuoteIn addition to that I seem to have lost a bit of empathy. Don't get me wrong, I still care for people a lot, it's just in my nature, but I guess I've become more blunt and assertive with saying things. I hope that made sense.

I still occasionally blurt out things that I shouldn't--things that I would never have said out loud pre-T. The first couple of times that happened, I was pretty shocked at myself because I used to be so modulated. (Some of this could be chalked up to confidence, but it started early in transition, when I wasn't confident about much of anything.)

I'm a lot less patient than I was. I can still appear to be as patient to others (at least, I'm pretty sure), but inside I'm writhing in agony.

I've never liked slow drivers on the freeway or clueless people at the grocery store, but now I am far less patient about that sort of thing. The grocery store is weird now. I have a little involuntary growl deep in my throat when I'm held up by some jackass who dribbles in front of me without looking. Try as I might, I haven't been able to shut myself up. So I just growl.

Everyone is different. Honestly I'm kinda over of the whole tired diatribe of how T makes one "less emotional". Men do cry, people. I think the reason why a lot of men don't seem to (in public that is) is because of social conditioning, not because of their hormones. From an early age males are basically pressured NOT to show emotion in public circles ... that it's a form of "weakness". Unless you get lucky like dalebert and his dad who never made it out to be a weakness.

And there is such a thing as placebo effect as well. If you have it cemented in your brain that getting on T is giving your body and brain the "right" chemicals and that it will solve your emo downfalls, then it probably will. Same with listening to tons of other guys on message boards talk about how their emotions were when they got on T. The brain can do a lot of amazing things. Then there actually are physical reactions to hormones of course. Most often they happen if a serious imbalance is occurring. If you're sitting around sobbing all the time, every day, that's an imbalance. If everything, every day is making you angry, that's an imbalance. What's normal, is to experience a range of emotions but to not be utterly ruled by them. Certain situations call for more emotions - death, having to leave someone (or even an animal) you love, etc. I think those SHOULD cause powerful emotions ... that's just normal human behavior. If you're completely debilitated by emotions for an extended period of time, that's not normal.

QuoteIf you have it cemented in your brain that getting on T is giving your body and brain the "right" chemicals and that it will solve your emo downfalls, then it probably will. Same with listening to tons of other guys on message boards talk about how their emotions were when they got on T. The brain can do a lot of amazing things.

I think a lot of it is how we perceive how men are supposed to act, but there have been studies that show when men experience emotions their heart rate and blood pressure increase more so than in females.

I didn't cry in public and I still don't...but before T I feel like with my emotions, the physical effects like fast heart rate, etc. weren't like they are now....and before it seemed my emotions were less intense but longer lasting now it seems they are way to intense. When I get angry now(which doesn't happen often) I feel as if my heart will explode where as before it didn't. When I experience any type of grief it's almost borderline panic attack where as before I would just cry.

I guess I've had the opposite reaction of most guys, for me it seems my emotions are too intense to deal with...maybe that's why guys hide there emotions, its just to painful to deal with them...IDK.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on May 20, 2012, 02:55:44 PM
Everyone is different. Honestly I'm kinda over of the whole tired diatribe of how T makes one "less emotional". Men do cry, people. I think the reason why a lot of men don't seem to (in public that is) is because of social conditioning, not because of their hormones. From an early age males are basically pressured NOT to show emotion in public circles ... that it's a form of "weakness". Unless you get lucky like dalebert and his dad who never made it out to be a weakness.

And there is such a thing as placebo effect as well. If you have it cemented in your brain that getting on T is giving your body and brain the "right" chemicals and that it will solve your emo downfalls, then it probably will. Same with listening to tons of other guys on message boards talk about how their emotions were when they got on T. The brain can do a lot of amazing things. Then there actually are physical reactions to hormones of course. Most often they happen if a serious imbalance is occurring. If you're sitting around sobbing all the time, every day, that's an imbalance. If everything, every day is making you angry, that's an imbalance. What's normal, is to experience a range of emotions but to not be utterly ruled by them. Certain situations call for more emotions - death, having to leave someone (or even an animal) you love, etc. I think those SHOULD cause powerful emotions ... that's just normal human behavior. If you're completely debilitated by emotions for an extended period of time, that's not normal.

*edit* Edited that out, I came off as hostile.

I actually read none about emotional changes as far as crying pre-t. Just wanted to clarify that in case this post was directed towards me.

Quote from: conformer on May 20, 2012, 07:57:59 PM
*edit* Edited that out, I came off as hostile.

I actually read none about emotional changes as far as crying pre-t. Just wanted to clarify that in case this post was directed towards me.

It wasn't directed at anyone specific just at everyone in general. There's a lot of threads on here about how T effects emotions. The problem with that is there isn't a set way it effects everyone. And cis males have the social aspects to contend with which can actually over ride their natural emotions in some instances.

+100 to insideontheoutside

I am sorry about your dog though, Inkwe.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on May 20, 2012, 08:18:53 PM
It wasn't directed at anyone specific just at everyone in general. There's a lot of threads on here about how T effects emotions. The problem with that is there isn't a set way it effects everyone. And cis males have the social aspects to contend with which can actually over ride their natural emotions in some instances.

Why aim your vitriol at everyone? By doing so, you include folks who have tried to account for other factors and those who are only speaking about their own experiences. I for one have never said that T will affect anyone's emotions in a certain way. And on a number of occasions, I have freely admitted that I cannot tell which effects might be affected by other influences. Other people in this particular thread and in other threads have spoken only about their own experiences.

Quote from: Inkwe Mupkins on May 20, 2012, 02:13:01 AM
It's like I'm trying to bury my emotions without really realizing it...when I start to think of him I just tell myself to bury it because it causes to much pain. I've noticed this since being on T every strong emotion that I start to feel I just let it go because I can't cope. My emotions like sadness, anger, hatred...are much stronger and more intense so much so that I can't handle it.

yeah I get that too.   It is on such a subconscious level too. For example, the love of my life broke up with me about a month ago, I cried my eyes out the first 3 days, but after that I just couldn't cry anymore.  I couldn't cry even if I wanted to.  I cant even really think about it either.  Like when little sad details come into my head they are automatically whisked away, or not processed.  Its like you said, all of the emotions are buried deep down, even if I don't want them to be.

For other emotions, and I don't think i am alone in this, but pre T when I was super super angry I would cry.  Now I am more likely to get physical (or want to) that, or curse and yell. Anger feels more forceful now, it seems more clear.  Rather then a blubbery teary anger, its a strong, seeing red, shaking kind.

Quote from: Arch on May 20, 2012, 10:04:22 PM
Why aim your vitriol at everyone? By doing so, you include folks who have tried to account for other factors and those who are only speaking about their own experiences. I for one have never said that T will affect anyone's emotions in a certain way. And on a number of occasions, I have freely admitted that I cannot tell which effects might be affected by other influences. Other people in this particular thread and in other threads have spoken only about their own experiences.

Sorry, guess I never figured that my saying everyone is different and that T effects everyone differently would be viewed as vitriol. I'm just tired of seeing the same thing over and over again with no real backing to it - that T makes people IN GENERAL less emotional.

Quote from: insideontheoutside on May 20, 2012, 11:26:07 PM
Sorry, guess I never figured that my saying everyone is different and that T effects everyone differently would be viewed as vitriol. I'm just tired of seeing the same thing over and over again with no real backing to it - that T makes people IN GENERAL less emotional.

Ha, I'm more in touch with my emotions than ever before. I attribute some of that to therapy and a lot to T. For example, I now have the ability to be deeply, deeply angry, and I have never felt that way before. I'm not sure what to do with it sometimes. Before, I never let myself feel anger for very long--I switched it off and became sad instead, or I went into zombie mode.

As for the crying thing, my ability to feel emotions did not seem to be compromised when I started T. But my ability to express certain emotions--through crying--suddenly stopped. It was quite horrible. I had finally learned how to express sadness and even feel better after letting go--and then it was all dammed up, with no way to let it out. I had to practice. That's why I think T was responsible. I wanted to cry, and I bloody well couldn't.

Now I can choose to cry--and sometimes I do choose it. But it doesn't seem to come "naturally"--that is, it often doesn't come easily. I have a much easier time holding back my sad feelings than I did before I went into full repression mode ten years ago. I suppose all of that practice contributes.

Quote from: Arch on May 21, 2012, 12:11:25 AM
Ha, I'm more in touch with my emotions than ever before. I attribute some of that to therapy and a lot to T. For example, I now have the ability to be deeply, deeply angry, and I have never felt that way before. I'm not sure what to do with it sometimes. Before, I never let myself feel anger for very long--I switched it off and became sad instead, or I went into zombie mode.

That's what I mean. Everyone is effected differently. It's like the people that say T will increase their sex drive. For some it does, for some it has no effect and for some it just doesn't.

I'm sure I'm biased and I'm no scientist, though I do have a scientifically-oriented mind (meaning I love science, was always a strong subject for me, and I still love reading about it). I say I'm biased because I feel pretty strongly much more in nurture vs. nature. In other words, I think people put way too much emphasis on gender, genes, hormones, and not nearly enough emphasis on how we were raised, societal conditioning, etc. So this is just my thoughts on the matter and they're no more valuable than anyone else's thoughts.

If you feel different about expressing certain emotions, to what extent might it be feeling like you're allowed to or less allowed to based on societal expectations of your gender? Society allows men to express anger more than women. Society allows women to express other emotions more than men. This conditioning starts at a very young age, long before puberty, at a time when you can hardly tell boys from girls anyway. It's so integrated that I think people reinforce the conditioning in children without even realizing it. I just think there may be a powerful psychological element when someone starts to express more as their identified gender. Not all, but much of gender is constructed by society (like hair length, clothes, pink or blue colors...), so maybe on some subconscious level, people are conforming to what society expects of them as part of passing.

My anecdotal experience, as just one more unscientific piece of evidence is that I've been on T for a few decades now and if I cried any more easily, I'd be a basket case. I've embarrassed myself more times than I can count by being unable to hold back the tears at a key moment, and I've never had any physical symptoms that might indicate low T levels or high E levels.