Twice this week I was harassed by people who think I'm gay. One of the times I was sexually harassed by a group of 5 guys because they thought I was a lesbian. And just 30 minutes ago two 10 year old girls yelled homophobic slurs at me. Anyone ever have this happen to them? Why are people so hateful?

because they were breastfed by a hyena

because they are probably gay and the only way they can vent out their own frustrations of having a "shameful" sexual orientation is by lashing out on others.

I used to have a guy who harassed me all the time in High School because I had a tendency for sounding or acting feminine. Fast forward four years later, he was arrested in a County Park for trying to "Service" an undercover Park Ranger.

First off, sorry you had that happen.  Second, they are that way because they are sad, ignorant, disgusting people.  I don't know how you dealt with it, but hopefully it is better than the way I handle things (I tend to let my emotions take control).

yeah I had that happent to me.
as a younger age I got bullied alittle for being very boyish.
now when I am a guy, I use to get comment for my femenine behaviors.. havent been shouted at the steet so much, only 1 time but didnt really mind cause I could take it as a compliment.

People who are read as boyish/butch girls or women do get harassed because people think they are gay. It sucks, but it's not at all uncommon for a random stranger to make a comment. It used to happen to me occasionally.

Sounds like you're having an unusually bad week, though...

yeah its really annoying.
when its about gay haressm its not really about being gay or not, its about people beliving your gay because if your gender expression.
I always got LOT of those comments, either being to maculine mistook for a lesbian, or to fem and joked about being gay, and for the guys I been with whos been very maculine theres never been a single joke around them..

It's happened to me several times before.

I think it's because people try to over compensate for the lack of hapiness they may have in an area so they take it out on anything that isn't the "norm" to them.  Also some people are just jerks that gets off on a big crowd watching as someone appears to feel hurt by their comments.

In other words misery loves company.

I am really sorry you have to go through that.  What goes around comes around and they will get theirs eventually. -hugs-

Quote from: chipper on May 26, 2012, 09:33:56 PM
Happens to me in certain areas full of ignorant folks. Specifically southeastern Pennsylvania where every outside the "city of brotherly love" feels like they have something to prove.

That is where I live. It sucks here...

Quote from: chipper on May 26, 2012, 10:13:11 PM
Where in Southeastern PA are you?

I live in Chambersburg.... In southern PA slightly towards the east. And you are right....I am shocked by how hateful people are here. I really wanna move. Maybe to a city or something...where people are more tolerant.

I wonder if certain areas just really are more prone to these sorts of things happening? I mean, I realize that even in a "progressive" city like San Francisco, people who hate on other people because of their sexual choices or appearances can still be found, but it seems less that some areas.

I can't say I've ever been physically harassed by anyway. I grew up in and spent most of my life in Southern California. Really the only verbal harassment I can recall is in middle school. A group of kids harassed me endlessly because I looked male but was dealt with as female by the teachers, etc. In high school there were a couple isolated incidents revolving around the same type of thing. But outside of school I really can't say I've come in contact with it.

I've had it happen to me numerous times when I still had my long hair. One of those times really stuck out for me. 2 or 3 years ago, I was walking to a corner store on Christmas Eve to buy smokes for my mom. As I was walking, a car full of guys was driving on the road behind me...they made a point to slow riiiiiiiight down almost to a stop and yell "f*in ->-bleeped-<-got!" at me. Other things I always had to deal with constantly was guys walking past me and whistling, which got great chuckles out of their gang of friends.

Now, I just avoid teenagers and people my age most of the time. Since I cut my hair though, thankfully, I haven't been bothered by anyone. Just swag down the road with an angry look on my face. They leave me alone finally.

Quote from: chipper on May 26, 2012, 09:33:56 PM
Happens to me in certain areas full of ignorant folks. Specifically southeastern Pennsylvania where nearly everyone outside the "city of brotherly love" feels like they have something to prove.

1. I was once walking on the sidewalk and these punks in a pickup truck started calling me a ->-bleeped-<-, drove up on the sidewalk, and tried to run me over.
2. Another time, I went to Dunkin Donuts. As I was leaving, a customer who had been sitting at a table watching me decided to cornered me in the doorway and tell me that he wanted to and was going to cut off my fingers because I was a homo. He proceeded to drive away in his Taxi. I got his license plate # and went to the police.
3. At a gas station, a man in line behind me started ranting about how I was a "lezbot" and told me to leave the store... the clerk did nothing and the man followed me out so he could continue to verbally degrade me. It ended when I told him to eff off because I got more pussy than he did.
4.Driving on the Pennsylvania T.P. a car full of teens pulled out a note book and wrote a series of slurs.... one then proceeded stick his torso out the window, whip out a drumstick, and fellate it whilst his friends wrote more hateful comments. The whole driving encounter lasted a good 15 minutes until I decided to exit the highway.
5. At the airport I holding hands with my partner and an older businessman approached us while we were in line waiting to board - he went on this whole rampage about how "we're in a family area. nobody wants to see queers being queer." We continued on our way.
6. Another time I was approached at a park by a gang of 19 year old pregnant girls who called me a dyke and then proceeded to burn me with a cigarette, punch me in the eye, break my glasses, scratch my face, pull of my pants, rip off my shirt, and then run away when I told them I was calling the cops. As they were strangers, I ran after them in my boxers for 3 blocks, followed them to their house while on the phone with the cops... had I not followed they would have gotten away and probably attacked some other innocent bystander.  Needless to say they were charged with a hate crime and spent a little less than a year in prison. Good times!

It's best to not engage. When you engage, it gives them momentum to carry on with their tirade. 

People who use slurs and attack random strangers on the street are clearly insecure. For real, who just approaches someone they have never met to hate- peepz clearly have issues! In certain areas, hating, causing a scene, and picking on people is a fun pastime. In my opinion, they hate because they have a problem with gender presentation NOT sexuality. What the hater hates on is something the individual can't process and therefore opts to hate. When young teens or kids hassle me, I blame it on peer pressure. Kids have to impress their friends and picking on others is a way to build themselves up. Sad but true. Being a kid in the 80s and 90s was harsh....I cant even imagine what it's like growing up nowadays!

When the attacker is not a juvenile, it's usually an uneducated fool with a complex. Like this  NYTIMES article (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/opinion/sunday/homophobic-maybe-youre-gay.html) stated,  In my opinion, the same can be said regarding transphobia and transphobic folk. People have a problem with anything out of the norm...it's not about sexuality, it's the gender variance that makes them LOOPY!

What bothers me most about the hatred is the tools who witness the bashing and refuse to stand up. People who watch and do nothing, in my opinion, are accessories and just as bad as the attacker. Standing by and doing nothing justifies the attackers behavior. People need to stand up when they see something wrong which they never do - maybe they don't want to "snitch" or whatever... but it's about respecting human kind and spreading love not hate!

*** Seriously, don't hesitate filing a police report if things get out of hand. Not only is harassment illegal, hate crimes are serious, letting someone get away with a crime positively reinforces their actions and propels the hatred. WE MUST TAKE A STAND!!!

F**** idiots, specially the pregnant women thing, I mean HTF!
I would had goon totally crazy if anyone got so far to burn me with a cigerat.

I agree with you on the standing up, but people usunally dont know how to handly the situation and somethimes they just freeze and are scared of getting invold.
I had a friend on one of my schools, who got into a fight with a gang of kids. (<-- yeah the oldest one where proably 14) I had taking one of the kids and pushid him away from him, nothing special but it worked to keep his distance, and later one when we thought everything where okay and my friend walked home, the kids had called some other folks and attacked him in a group.
sure my friend where terrified for a long time after that, but even thought I had done nothing ells to just keep his distance I also ignored certain places at times cause I knew I was invold for the one who had helped him, so if anyone of then could reconize me (as they probably could since I wasnt the most usual looking person) I could get beat up as well.
just putting up exemple on how there minds works.

People find solidarity in groups and like to define themselves in contradistinction to other groups and to individuals who aren't in their own group. It's basically tribalism.

And if they sniff out any kind of clear difference or weakness, heaven help you.

Surprised to hear some of you guys are from PA. I live a little outside of Pittsburgh and haven't really encountered anything like this. I get stares and a lot of angry looks, hoping that doesn't progress to more when I start T.

People are just so ridiculous sometimes, sorry to hear you guys had to put up with that.

I had a guy pull a knife at me in a Country and Western bar when he thought I smiled at him.  I was actually smiling at my cousin, not him, but try and tell him that.

His friends had more sense then he did and eventually get him out of there before anything escalated.  The experience shook me up a bit though. 

Back in suburbia I've had parents not allow their children to play with mine because my partner and I are the same gender.  It's ridiculous when people bring kids into this but nothing about that situation makes sense.  I guess they thought we would rub off onto little Joey. 

Quote from: chipper on May 27, 2012, 09:23:49 PM

Natkat, I totally get what your saying. People also don't want to make themselves vulnerable to an attacker by standing up. But physically interjecting is an extreme form of intervention. Basically, I just think if you see someone seriously trans and gay bashing or assaulting another, the police should be involved. I hate the cops but I hate people who think they can get away with hatred more.

true so.
where I live the cops arn't really that much help, so I guess calling the cops wouldnt be the first I would do unless I was on a distance wathing, but not if I was invold.
also specially if your transgender theres been situations where they dont take you seriously, or if its a gang and the members are under aged (less than 15) then they police really cant give them any good punishment.

luckely theres been some hate crime focus the last few years, so maybe its diffrent now, But I remember years ago I refused to report those kind of things cause I was told I was useless..