I came across this video today on a Hungarian transsexual forum: (Its in English)



And to be honest, I've been having some similar problems, there were some gay people who acted like this when I came out to them.

What is your opinion?

Tis not surprising, not anymore. I figure that if a big chunk of the ones against us weren't gay, they'd probably be homophobes.

Hatred knows no bounds.....

Yeah, I am aware of these things, and I got the same.
Im FtM and gay as well, I got things like
"why dont you stay female? At least you'd be normal then, and could have normal sex with men"
"No gay man would want a 'man' with vagina"
" You are destroying your own health with hormones and you will die on the surgery table"
" You are going to be discriminated for your whole life, everyone will know"
and my fave one:
" Enjoy your life as a man, act and dress like one, but dont get a name and sex change"

How could I be accepted as a man while having female body and voice? Its just making me crazy, my father used to say this. I ve just got my first hormone pills yesterday, I have to hide them, or he will give me an hour long speech again on this sh!t .....

Oh and one more thing, theres this Hungarian transsexual forum, and it makes me really sad and angry that anytime I ask something, I am flamed on by others for my young age and they look down upon me because I could start transition so young and they are like "what the... where are you hurrying, you arent chased by Mongols!" and "the egg shell is still on your bottom, what the f do you want?" God, why....

Quote from: caliyr on May 23, 2012, 08:05:06 AM
I am flamed on by others for my young age and they look down upon me because I could start transition so young and they are like "what the... where are you hurrying, you arent chased by Mongols!" and "the egg shell is still on your bottom, what the f do you want?" God, why....

Jealousy.  remember, you don't make them upset, it's what's inside them that gets them upset.  It's funny to me how everything is relative.  I know this girl who transitioned between 18 and 20, and she was saying how she thinks it would be easier later in life.  And, of course, I am here at 42 transitioning, thinking about how great it would be to transition at 18.  We had an interesting talk about that one.

I'll tell you one thing.  If people can not learn from their own experiences, then they are truly lost.  Discrimination is discrimination.  Whatever it is against makes no difference.

Your words are very true. This "Discrimination is discrimination.  Whatever it is against makes no difference." is really really awesome this way and sadly very true again.

I think too that transition is easier at a younger age, but whatever, what can people do who start it later? I never flamed on people for starting transition later...
Btw, Auburnaubrey, if thats you in your pic, which I guess its you, you look just gorgeous!

Thank you Caliyr!  Yes, it is me.    (Having facial feminization surgery in August!)

Don't think of the world as sad, because then we too get sad.  Everyone has their path, and their lessons to learn.  Some will never learn them.  As we dislike discrimination, if we choose to look at those people who discriminate with compassion, then we are the better people.  I do feel compassion for people so locked away in their own reality that nothing else can get in.  They will never find peace within themselves, because there will always be something outside of themselves bothering them!

As for people who accept things for how they are, they will have a peaceful resolution within themselves.  So it's up to us individually to be those people.

To be fair I've definitely seen some gay prejudice in this forum.

Just because we are lumped in with LGBT do not assume there is total allegiance between all the letters. Read your history. It was the ->-bleeped-<-s who threw the first punches at Stonewall after finally getting sick and tired of being hassled by cops only to have them the next day ask for "favors". Our reward was basically being excluded from most gay activist groups forming at that time.

T stands for token

Quote from: Carbon on May 23, 2012, 01:02:51 PM
To be fair I've definitely seen some gay prejudice in this forum.

So true. I even read a comment stating that an mtf NOW had no problems with gays cause it musta been the way they were born. All I have to say is bitch please

Quote from: caliyr on May 23, 2012, 10:39:04 AM
I think too that transition is easier at a younger age, but whatever, what can people do who start it later? I never flamed on people for starting transition later...

Some trans folks are very prejudiced against those who transition later and especially those who figure themselves out later in life.

I often envy guys (and gals) who can transition earlier. But I also recognize that transitioning young has its challenges. It's just different. But some folks will be very jealous of you, and that can come out in petty and nasty ways.

Oh, this sounds so familiar for me!!

When I was younger I used to get a bunch of LGB friends (I didn't know any Transgender person back in those days.) And so I was the "soft" guy. When I came out as a MTF transgender their first reaction was: "WTF, Dude? You are going to ruin your life!" or "Why would you like to be a woman, I mean you are gay" And so, this isn't anything new for me, even I used to visit a group made of young LGBTs; It was a gay-fail. With me being the only transgender there, 80% of the people there used to avoid me as if I could transfer a deadly disease to them.

Now that I begin to pass as a woman things have been getting better. ♥

Another thing that makes me... well, I dont know, its actually my fault, because I except people to know what transsexualism is.

So here is my story:
A gay friend of mine and me registered on a Hungarian gay dating site for fun. I clearly stated on my profile that I am transsexual (I selected male as gender because when I searched transsexuals, only ->-bleeped-<-s came up, nearly naked in thongs etc)
And then I received bunch of letters saying how they would suck my d!ck and stuff, which made me smile and feel confident since they took me as male but also made me sad that they did not read my profile (in which I also stated that I'm in a relationship and I'm not looking for anything but friends)

Second category people:
They tend to ask/say things like
"OMG, you are transsexual... so um, is that a... kind of a fetish or something?"
And when I tell em what it is, they all go
"Oh, but, why would you want to be a man? You are totally normal, you are attracted to men, so it shouldnt be a problem then, right?"

I mean what the f!!! What does the fact that I'm attracted to men have anything to do with that how I'm feeling better as? Oh gosh...
And the other thing, when even my best friends when some gay topic comes up and I say something in which its clear that I identify myself as a gay man, they are telling me that I'm not really a gay man, and sometimes they are like
" the girl who dreamed and wanted to be a gay man"
Okay, they are my friends and they might say it as a joke but sometimes it really does hurt... They handle me as a guy, so I dont really understand why they say this from time to time....

Quote from: caliyr on May 24, 2012, 12:03:40 PM
" the girl who dreamed and wanted to be a gay man"
Okay, they are my friends and they might say it as a joke but sometimes it really does hurt... They handle me as a guy, so I dont really understand why they say this from time to time....

I'm so sorry, Caliyr. I'm doing what I can to reach out to my LGB brothers and sisters and educate them out of this sort of nonsense. Mostly, they're just ignorant. Once they have it explained to them, I think most of them will make significant progress.

I avoid the LGB community because I experienced more prejudice and malice with that community than anywhere else.  Also GLBs are better at spotting transsexuals which makes things even worse.  Especially in dating situations in lesbian spaces (even though I was not lesbian it was automatically assumed I was) and my being M2f was used to destroy me (because I was considered competition) and the competition had to be destroyed :/

Gay men tended to assume I wasn't man enough to be gay and was trying to hide and pretend I was a woman.

Feminist type lesbians tended to assume that I was really just a man wanting to sneak into women only spaces and steal potential girlfriends.

Bisexuals tended to experience me as a pretend woman or a surgically modified male.

I ran screaming into the woodwork as fast as I could.  Not really, it took me a while of bad experiences happening over and over before I learned to avoid GLB spaces.

Like someone else said in this thread, T is for Token.  As long as you are early in transition or have set your goals on being trans, being accepted as trans, being identified as trans..  Then you may not even notice.  But if you want to be accepted as a male or a female (as your target sex or true sex) and especially if you are used to just being taken as your true sex or target sex, as long as you have gotten used to just being your true sex or target sex then the GLB community is probably going to be a disappointment if they ever find out you transitioned.

Quote from: dalebert on May 24, 2012, 01:57:31 PM
I'm so sorry, Caliyr. I'm doing what I can to reach out to my LGB brothers and sisters and educate them out of this sort of nonsense. Mostly, they're just ignorant. Once they have it explained to them, I think most of them will make significant progress.

Thank you very much! Even tho I had very bad experience, I still always believe in development and success.


Noey, about your post:
I really agree, and I thought I'd never hide my transsexuality, but nowadays I feel like I will need to... Such disappointment.