I had a bad experience with lolajake, part of what was bad was that it was much larger than we wanted.
I got a reelmagik 4.5 with flex rod, it's small and works for packing and just big enough it can be used for sex. again it's small, definitely a flaccid penis size but it CAN be used for sex because of the rod, which bends nicely into place for both packing and sex.
its expensive, i bought mine when it was a bit cheaper and the shipping takes a long time but its the best packer i've seen.