Gender dysphoria can manifest itself in many ways.. Some people, like myself, have fairly mild dysphoria.. Others have it quite intensely.. And there others who fall somewhere in between.. I don't hate my genitals, I don't use them as intended though, and I do wish that they were correct.. That doesn't make me any more or less trans, or any more or less of a woman, than any one else..

I used to be a gay guy.. Well, I used it as a 'cover' at any rate.. Why did I do it? Simple, it enabled me to almost the real me.. But it was a lie and eventually I could live that lie no more, which is when I went and got myself a therapist and started my transition..

i wish figuring myself out was easier... this whole thing is confusing, especially when you dont know where the border between very feminine gay guy and trans is.

There is no border. Being trans doesn't mean you're more feminine than a feminine gay guy.

Quote from: Confusedguy55 on May 09, 2012, 07:39:57 PM
i wish figuring myself out was easier... this whole thing is confusing, especially when you dont know where the border between very feminine gay guy and trans is.

Wishing you were a woman during sex, as well as some of the other things you have said, is an indicator.. No gay guy I ever met would think that way.. I think it's time you sought out some professional help from a gender therapist..

Quote from: kelly_aus on May 09, 2012, 07:47:14 PM
Wishing you were a woman during sex, as well as some of the other things you have said, is an indicator.. No gay guy I ever met would think that way.. I think it's time you sought out some professional help from a gender therapist..

i definitely will go to therapist this summer, but i cant now because of where i live =/
hmm... about the sex thing it depends! when i know that the guy is gay and i feel attracted to him then i imagine myself as the real me with hard penis and everything and when i imagine myself as a girl during sex i tend to only imagine the feminine face, because id rather not have a vagina 

Quote from: kelly_aus on May 09, 2012, 07:47:14 PM
Wishing you were a woman during sex, as well as some of the other things you have said, is an indicator.. No gay guy I ever met would think that way.. I think it's time you sought out some professional help from a gender therapist..

    I'm not gay in the male mode, but I've pretty much ONLY wished I was a woman when thinking about sex.  The only sex fantasies I've really had were being penetrated vaginally or having lesbian sex.  I don't like my ***** but I don't hate it all the time, and my want for a vagina is stronger than my distaste for my *****.

Adding to the discussion here, I've doubted myself at times because at times my dysphoria isn't bad, and I'm ok for a while being male-like, making me wonder if I am really transgender.  That and my want to have a female partner that I love (and unsureness about the lesbian community in finding a partner) as well as my unsureness of how I could fit in with other women (unless I hanged around with lesbians all of the time, since straight women have high regards and attraction for guys, and I don't like guys and I don't trust them)  has been why I haven't been able to put 100% into taking the plunge into transitioning (however I'm still working on taking steps to make it happen.)

Quote from: Katelyn on May 10, 2012, 05:26:27 PM
    I'm not gay in the male mode, but I've pretty much ONLY wished I was a woman when thinking about sex.  The only sex fantasies I've really had were being penetrated vaginally or having lesbian sex.  I don't like my ***** but I don't hate it all the time, and my want for a vagina is stronger than my distaste for my *****.

Adding to the discussion here, I've doubted myself at times because at times my dysphoria isn't bad, and I'm ok for a while being male-like, making me wonder if I am really transgender.  That and my want to have a female partner that I love (and unsureness about the lesbian community in finding a partner) as well as my unsureness of how I could fit in with other women (unless I hanged around with lesbians all of the time, since straight women have high regards and attraction for guys, and I don't like guys and I don't trust them)  has been why I haven't been able to put 100% into taking the plunge into transitioning (however I'm still working on taking steps to make it happen.)

well i dont imagine being penetrated vaiginally at all ;/ and i dont think i would want to have vagina... i mean i would feel weird if my penis wasnt there anymore

Personally I think you need to treat them as separate issues. Really as I see it there are three issues:

Sexuality: You are attracted to men

Gender: You need to work this out. It could be male, female, androgynous or somewhere in between (non-binary)

Sex: You are currently happy with male sex organs.

Seeing a therapist about your gender seems like it would be very important. Also I have found that in the process of exploring my gender I have gotten worse and worse dysphoria, partly I guess because of suppressing it during childhood.

Best of luck!! Xx

i dont know.. i guess im just a weirdo

Quote from: Confusedguy55 on May 19, 2012, 05:26:01 PM
i dont know.. i guess im just a weirdo

*huggles* You aren't a weirdo x3 I'm sure you'll find your answers and figure out what you want to do/be overtime <3

Confusedguy55, I pretty much have same problem But still I think I would love to have vagina too. It's hard to figure out now which was the earlier - desire to be a girl, or attraction to guys. All I want in this life is to be a pretty girl, with long hair and make-up, and be involved in straight romantic relationship with a guy. But I never wanted to have any surgery! So just being gay is maybe the only option. However, when I try to meet some gay guys even online (didn't meet anyone in real life yet, and yes I'm virgin in my 23), I feel that I'm not into that gay culture. All this questions like "top or Bottom" or "oh ->-bleeped-<- you don't look masculine enough" just drives me crazy and makes me depressed.
I feel absolutely unhappy and have no idea how this all gonna end

Quote from: Seyranna on May 01, 2012, 10:00:23 PM
There's a fundamental difference between the most effeminate of gay man and a woman... They're not women, they're gay men... Just like the most butch of dikes is not a man.

QFT !

OP, is effeminate, not "feminine". Huge difference really.

First off, you are not weird.  You are just confused.  Being a woman is more than having a vagina.  It is a state of mind.  There are plenty of women out there with a penis.  I personally would love to have a vagina. But, if I were to have a partner that loves me as the woman I am supposed to be, but wants me to keep my penis, I will.  I do not hate the thing.  I just prefer not to have it.  Also, I do not like being with men as a man.  I want to be with a man as a woman.  To feel like a woman, and be treated as such.  As someone else stated, there are guys out there that will want to be with you as a woman, and they don't care that you have a penis...or they prefer you do.  You came to a good spot to help find yourself.  I really hope you find what you are looking for, and receive the help you need. 

Another thing to consider is this:

I have had plenty of battles over myself about transition into woman, and yet even in all my life i still liked to play with myself and experience an orgasm and sexual release which feels good. I can't think of many people who don't enjoy an orgasm, I think that its important to remember also that transwomen have said repeatably they can orgasm and I am sure they also touch themselves still after srs.

At the same time I often want my privates to be removed. There are some who choose not to have an operation and are comfortable with this. There are some born inter sexed and stay the way they are. You have to dig deep and talk with a therapist and keep reading and posting here examining all the variations.

you dont have to be physically female to wear makeup and dresses / heels etc every day of your life . dont change your body for fashion  that would be crazy and you would regret it

thank you for responses guys! Well I've been thinking about it  a lot lately and I definitely know that I do feel comfortable with having a penis, using it, and I never in my life wanted it to be gone. I just feel this weird thing inside me telling me that I would be happier as a girl, looking as one and being treated as one, it would make me happier because society would treat me different and men would treat me different... but at the same time I would not want to take hormones and stuff because it will change my sex drive and my penis will not work as it used to, which i dont want :|
Omg this is sick, maybe i have OCD because im obsessing over it again and again, maybe im bi gender... I remember dreaming that I would magically becaome a girl and live like that for a week, and then go back to my real life and live as a guy for a week...

 My penis functions just as well as it always has, it has not shrunk, and my sex drive is just as high if not higher...

... After a year and a half on hormones.

While it is possible that hormones will inhibit your function, it may not be the case. I have a feeling that this has to do with one's desire - I certainly have more control over my sex drive, but I imagine that it stays because I like having it.

Hormones may be worth a trial. After all, you can always stop... and unless you try for a long time, the changes are reversible.

Hi
  Be who you want to be. If you want to be a girl with a penis, who likes guys, that is who you are. Being content with yourself is the first step. Forget what society thinks. It is not easy to be transsexual, so you are not going to escape it any way. Self acceptance is underrated, but that is what you need. And there are lot of people out there who will accept you for exactly what you are, don't worry about that. I like to feminine all the time, I don't really have a problem with my penis, but I like girls. You have actually more clarity about what you want in my opinion. Also it might be a good idea to talk to a gender  psychologist.

Giggles,
-Anita

hmm i think maybe i should try to be somthing like gregory Gorgeus or Miles Jai from youtube, beause i will not take hormones as they will affect my penis sooner or later, and i do not want it, and i also like the idea of 2 guys having sex... And when I imagine myself in 40 years time i see a grey old man, not a granny and I would like to be a guy when old, when relationships and fashion doesnt matter and i would just feel fine with myself.
I think transitioning in my case would be pointless as I would not feel like a real woman but pretending to be one and dating would probably be even harder than it is not... but I dont know im still thinking.
I often feel like " i love my body, not having boobs, having penis etc" then why the f am i worrying so much. I remember that all my dreams about being a female that i had were when i was a closeted gay guy, who could never imagine myself being "gay" so the only way I imagined myself with boys was as a girl. But now I feel a bit different as im out and being a bit more true to myself. Im still feminine and always will be but I dont see anything wrong with my body, however this thoughts when I feel good about myself like "but would i feel even better about myself if I was a girl hmmmm" are driving me crazy.
I would want to be a girl so that the feminie clothes would look good on me, straight men would say to me "hey sexy or sweet, and not "sup bro" and thats it really.. Its hard to define what makes someone transexual because everyone is saying something different :| and also whenever i used to imagine myself as a girl i was creating something like a "super woman" in my head, that wouldnt ever get fat, would wake up with makeup already, would always have perfect clothes etc" lol
So at this point i can imagine myself being happy as a feminine gay boy but I always ask myself in the back of my head... would i be happer as a ts girl? hmmm

i wonder what would happen if you just dressed as a girl without really changing anything else
find a girl who likes to dress up people as well as dolls, and see if you can be a girl for a day or two. maybe all you really want is to crossdress once in a while to give your feminine side an outlet

i'm possibly a little bit too open minded, so i don't see any problem with a person being a girl in public and a guy at home, or the opposite.
try figuring out whether you are a girl, or would love the opportunity to pretend you are one. there's a really big difference between the two. do you ever pretend to be a guy? or do you just pretend to be "manlier" than you really are?

i for my part often feel like i'm pretending to be a girl (born female). some of it is a result of social programming, like the totally fake sweet smile and voice. i use them because it gives privilege, people are so much more willing to help, and usually return the smile. but it's still just me pretending, or acting out of old habit, except for the few times when i really do feel like a girl. but those moments are rare (i'm not really a binary person, can't be labelled exclusively "man" or "woman")

did i confuse you more?