I haven't magically become any more sociable or got the courage to delve into more feminine ways of dressing (which I want to do); I haven't changed in any way other than my appearance, lol. I know it's not a very realistic expectation to expect to be a different person after FFS but I kinda hoped it would happen as a side-effect to the surgery. Nope. I'm still really withdrawn and barely go out other than to attend classes at my college. I'm 21 btw.

I went from passing once in a blue moon before surgery to passing regularly like over half the time or maybe most of the time, not sure how to quantify it. But I got ma'amed at a McDonalds and she'd at a CVS without makeup on and wearing guy clothes...so that's exciting. I just haven't been able to translate my excitement into building confidence/courage to do the things I want to do...how do I do that?

Change has to come from inside, hon, in order to affect the way you interact with the outside world. Appearance is but one facet of the multifaceted jewel which makes up you as a person. 

Perhaps a good start to building courage is to think about what courage actually is. It's not a mystical force that one somehow has to possess in order to achieve greatness. All courage is, is the tipping point between not doing something because it scares you, and doing something precisely because it scares you. Doing something in spite of the fear you may feel is empowering in itself, and leads to an increase in confidence which, in turn, makes it easier to undertake the next thing which scares you. It becomes a cycle of empowerment.

The most courageous acts are often the smallest, rather than vast, earthshattering feats of bravery. Resolve to do one thing every day which scares you, something you do not think you can do. It doesn't have to be anything huge. As the old adage goes: a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. *hug*

Jameve, it is those little things that help build confidence.

Im having a very similar issue.. 1 year on hrt and feminizing rhinoplasty and walking around dressed like a guy has gotten very strange and uncomfortable.. 2 days ago i too was ma'md at mcky dee's and in other places as well while presenting male. But i am still no closer to dressing as myself everyday than before even though it feels soooo much better. In fact im having so much difficulty making that step that im considering just stopping transition... It just feels like this impossible wall to get through, and the knowledge of my birth gender keeps me hindered. I was hoping to be fulltime a long time ago

You might try something more androgenous, perhaps in some female cuts, and brighter colors.  That you are being recognized as female, is a good sign.

Dressing can be transitional as well.  Give it a try.

I'm not at that stage yet, but I just KNOW I'll have the same issue. However, I'm trying to both make it easier on myself and gain some sort of experience by dressing a little more androgynous. Women's jeans, an androgynous-but-a-little-childish messenger bag, a colourful scarf for winter, women's skate shoes... Things like that.

It makes me feel like I look less horrible, and at the same time, it gives me an occasional pass.

Quote from: Sephirah on June 03, 2012, 02:04:28 AM
Change has to come from inside, hon, in order to affect the way you interact with the outside world. Appearance is but one facet of the multifaceted jewel which makes up you as a person. 

Perhaps a good start to building courage is to think about what courage actually is. It's not a mystical force that one somehow has to possess in order to achieve greatness. All courage is, is the tipping point between not doing something because it scares you, and doing something precisely because it scares you. Doing something in spite of the fear you may feel is empowering in itself, and leads to an increase in confidence which, in turn, makes it easier to undertake the next thing which scares you. It becomes a cycle of empowerment.

The most courageous acts are often the smallest, rather than vast, earthshattering feats of bravery. Resolve to do one thing every day which scares you, something you do not think you can do. It doesn't have to be anything huge. As the old adage goes: a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. *hug*

Aww that was such a nice post *hug*

You're right I can make small steps. I always felt the need to try to make drastic changes at once because I think it'll make me happy but of course I don't end up doing it since I feel overwhelmed.

You're at the hard part now. I bet you thought the other stuff would be hard, but once you're on HRT or have gotten FFS, well, you've done it. You're never going to be done with this though.

Good luck.

I totally agree with everyone else, it's a progressive thing. Start with a little clothing, walk around places that you feel confortable in, like shopping areas, do something new everyday. It seems like the psychological wall is all you need to break now, so go at it, get rid of any fear that might be lingering and feel the breeze.