So just a bit of ranting/asking for advice before I head into work this evening.

My coworkers and manager have been great regarding my transition, but I feel like the company itself has been doing anything it can to make it difficult for me.  Both my employer and state provide protection against discrimination based on gender identity, so I didn't think it would be this difficult.  I wanted to come out to all my coworkers with a written letter placed in everyone's mail box, but human resources said the mail boxes are for company memos only.  Sounds reasonable.  So I asked if the company would issue the memo.  They refused to say anything about changing names or pronouns at work because they were afraid someone might be offended or might have their religion violated (never mind my rights of wanting to be treated how I want to be treated or my protections...)

When I asked what my options were, they told me to "wait until it's legal, and it will be obvious." I'm sure you guys know how ridiculous that sounds.  The other option I was given was to tell everyone individually, because it is a "personal issue, not a company issue."  Now, many months later, I have taken the time to talk to my coworkers individually and everyone is doing great with the name and beginning to work on pronouns.

Moving on to recent happenings, after requesting to switch to the men's room HR has again informed me to wait until everything is legal because the company is worried about offending someone by letting me into the bathroom "before I've had all the surgeries." I have not yet legally changed my name or gender marker, but will be looking into it sooner than originally planned due to this.

I just wanted everyone's opinions/advice on what I should do in this situation.

It sounds like your employer is doing a very good job with this. It is understandable that they would do all they could to try to avoid a lawsuit from others. I do think they are taking it a little far if they are saying you can't use the bathroom until you have had surgery. But, if they just require you to be legally male (gender marker on I.D.), then they are probably just trying to protect themselves. Once you are legally male they basically do not have much choice. That will take the responsibility off of them, and therefore they will not be open to legal action from other employees. I would get your name and gender marker changed as soon as you can.

This is just my take on it. I could be way off here.

If your company and state protects "gender identity" in their anti-discrimination policies then HR is going against those by stalling you and saying things like "wait till you have all the surgeries" and other transphobic ->-bleeped-<-.  I would go above your individual office's HR to someone higher in the company.  Document as much of what they say and your correspondence with them as possible. 

I do not believe that having your gender identity protected requires that you have your gender marker match what gender you identify.  They are just being ->-bleeped-<-s. 

depending on where you live there may or may not be laws that say its okay. I know in washington state there are laws that protect against discrimination of bathroom usage for transgender people. not sure about where you live though. 

Sounds to me like they are making this unreasonably hard for you. Unfortunately I don't know much about the legal situation in the states but I would be looking into it.

The bathroom thing specifically, I'm sure there are laws around that (they can't require surgery first).

I'm in California.  I have been looking, but the best I could find regarding bathroom laws is that there are no previous cases, so although bathroom protection is assumed, there is no legal precedent.

It sounds like they are making it harder then necessary for you, but I think the main reason for that would be out of their own fear of not wanting to get sued by another employee about their rights or religion (as they stated) and there they forget about yours and making you comftable and creating a good work environment for yourself and other trans people. Also it sounds a bit of a case of just wanting to deal with changing gender on forms when your transition is at that stage.

Honestly if it was me in that situation I would feel like it sounded they were trying to push me under the carpet a little and forget about me until they just were able to tick all the legal rights and say they have a male employee and not have to deal with the transition itself (that's just what I would feel like).

As for the bathroom, that may be understandable if they jut need to tick a box to say that you are male to them, they might be as stuck on you are in that legally.

I would see if you can find out if the company has any more written about this in whatever documents necessary and see if they are abiding by them all. If not and you feel put out by this maybe a complaint would suit you better.

Let us know how it goes for you and I hope it goes well.