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Coming out is HARD!!!

Started by ~RoadToTrista~, June 11, 2012, 06:24:07 PM

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~RoadToTrista~

The only person I've managed to tell is my therapist that I don't even go to anymore, and that was quite mentally traumatizing for awhile. -.- I have a fricken crapload of people to tell now, and an even bigger crapload will find out afterwards. I can't even tell my dad who I already know will accept me. It feels so weird because it's going to change their views on me forever. Ugh........

As for my transition I've made some important preparations but nothing that really gets down to it as of yet. Hopefully I won't procrastinate all month. -.-'
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Adrasteia

You have my sympathies.  So far I've told my SO and my therapist. I'm only seeing my therapist every other week (ugh), so I'm going to try and tell my closest friend sometime before my next appointment.  I'm also trying to go to a local TG group, so hopefully I won't rationalize my way out of either. :)

My fingers are crossed for you.
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Brooke777

Telling people is very hard. However, I have found it to be easier each time I do it. The first couple of times scared the heck out of me. Now, I actually don't fear it. This is who I am. Anyone who ever truly cared for me will accept me, and support me. I have been lucky as only one person has rejected me. I hope all the best for you, and hope you find the courage you need.
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Ms. OBrien CVT

Yes it is hard, but each one gets easier.  Start with the ones that would be the most support and move through the rest.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Suzette

I came out to my mother last year unfortunately she laughed and laughed then forgot I ever mentioned. I swore I would never ever let her into my privacy ever again. I have shut up and refuse to tell many anything anymore, I guess I have crawled back into my mind and locked the doors and glued the hinges. Maybe one reason why I have not visited here for a while. Yes it can be very hard to want to open up and come out.
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Alexis

Coming out was the worst thing that I had to do, even though I was fairly sure how friends and family would take it. In fact my therapist knew months before my closest friends, and they knew before my family. I don't wish it on anyone because it has been the hardest thing that I've done concerning transition so far; or maybe I wish it on everyone just so they can see hard it is (jk). Anyway, like others have said, the more you do it the easier it gets, and you'll find that the friends who stick with you, are the ones worth keeping around anyway. Best of luck to you!
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MariaMx

The first few times were hard, really hard. Especially because the people I first told were the ones that really mattered (close friends and family). After a while I wasn't bothered by it at all. A few times were even fun because of the look on their faces :)

Telling my mom was strange. All she said was "Okay" and kept on doing the dishes or what ever it was she was doing when I came over to tell her. My dad looked very serious and concerned, then he asked me if it had been painful living with the dark secret my whole life.

Coming out is hard, but that doesn't matter because you have to do it either way. Do as you do with the band aid.
"Of course!"
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Silvrnite

you all really do have my sympathies. =( sucks.
Ive been out w/ my parents and immediate family since i was 16, tho, they had to have some idea, i remember my dad catching me "cross dressing" at an early age. my parents hated it, had tests done and crap to see if this wasn't a chromosomal or hormonal thing >.< which of course it wasn't. took my mom alil while to get used to the idea, but in the end on her death bed acknowledged me as her daughter. tho my dad died still holding grudges w/ me. >.> but w/e.

at one point i was near suicide. was then i said ->-bleeped-<- it. and well yeah. haven't looked back since. went full time well before i had any documents changed or any hrt. that was when i was about 20, now 27 and just started hrt 3 months ago.

i really didn't have much of an issue telling ppl, when they'd meet me, even in boy mode and knew my birth name(Michael..ugh) and what my name is now(Jaime), and knew i wanted to have the one used and not the other, raised questions, so they all came to me.

so, while i can give my sympathies, i really cant relate. =( but still best of luck to you
"Whatever doesn't kill you, will leave a scar."
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justmeinoz

It's hard, but not as hard as coming out to yourself. After that, and your closest friends and family it is a lot easier.  Family is the hardest as they have known us all our lives, and it is a big adjustment.  If they love unconditionally they can handle it.  If not, then they really were never family and we had already lost them. 
It can be tough, but will have to happen eventually.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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