I have been chatting with various people across various message boards and rooms. I have run into some wide ranges of thought as to why people come to hate someone or are repulsed by them.

It seems to me the main factor is how a child was raised by their parents. What they were taught, behaviors that were learned and peer influence from friends and other people.

Another factor is what you grow up reading or seeing or hearing. For instance I was raped by a boy when I was age 15. It took me a long time to deal with this, it damaged me emotionally in a lot of ways, took me long time to get over the pain, but I still am repulsed if I happen to see on TV 2 men having sex. I don't find any human being to be repulsive based on their gender, but for me the act is still something I can't watch, I have no problem though watching guys kissing or holding hands though. I think also I just don't want to watch anyone (man or woman) have sex period, as I don't like Hardcore Porn.

I am not the only one who has dealt with this. I have talked with a few people here in susan's that stated they were "repulsed by men in general, and did not find them attractive in any way" I have also seen this response at other websites and forums. There had seemed to be a common thread. A few of them were raped like me also. But this was not always the case, some just did not seem to have a reason.


I wonder how long society will take to get over its homophobia or fears or repulsion. It seemed to take a long time to get to a point where African Americans were treated like humans by most people and they stopped hating. It seems that the KKK and White Supremacists groups won't ever let it go, they still see Adolf Hitler as a champion and they hate everyone practically.

There is of course a slight difference between being repulsed by something and hating something. But then again, it seems that not liking something or being repulsed by it can lead in the direction to absolute hatred for something or someone!

I hate no one, not even gonna happen for me to hate someone regardless of how I was raised. I feel bad for children that are brainwashed into hating people.

At the same time I feel concerned about people who are repulsed by an aspect of humanity that they should not be repulsed by.

When I was raped by the boy it really hurt, i didn't even talk to anyone about it until I was in my 20s. I think it made things worse for me emotionally by burying it. I just need to be able to find some peace with that.

I would like to hear your thoughts on why people hate people. Or why people are repulsed by something or someone.

It seems like it may be a very long time still until we live in a world where we can stop living in fear and hate. There really is a fine line here and its a slippery slope, which quite a few people seem to travel on.

Ignorance leads to fear, fear to hate, hate to violence.

I think it's a balance between how they were raised, and how they were influenced by the media/school.

When kids are in school they're met up with other kids raised by different parents with different views and of course they'll think their parents are the ones who know the only correct answer and will in turn try to impose it on other kids.

The media makes certain groups of people look horrid (fat is BAD. gay is BAD. skinny is GOOD-be skinny! straight is GOOD-look how few problems they are! old is BAD-buy our stuff to be young again! and so on, and so on)

So the poor child ends up with at least 3 incoming opinions and typically (I feel) when at least 2 match up, the child will usually think that's the right one to go with since it won majority. Later they may realize it's wrong and change, or fight it because it's not what they grew up believing was right.

Someday I hope we can end the useless hate of gay, fat, old, etc. and learn to try to work together to fix real problems like gangs, drugs, hunger, war, and sickness...

It can vary over time as well as from place to place.  Here in Australia homophobia was the norm until the last couple of decades, both official and social.  Being considered a poofter was about the worst thing that could happen to you. 
This almost certainly stems from our history with the male to female ratio skewed in the favour of men in the early days of settlement, and the number of men working in the bush in all male groups.  Fear of unwanted sexual advances was understandable in these circumstances and at that time.

Since the 1970's this has changed, and while there are still plenty of pockets of outright hate, especially in more isolated rural areas, many  seems to have a feeling that it is a private matter, and if it doesn't affect you personally it's not important.

The figures for support and opposition to marriage equality seem to bear this out, with a big swing towards support in the last few years.  The "don't really care" vote has also increased.  Opposition is now well under 50%. It has become a political debate in Parliament with the Opposition refusing to allow a conscience vote like the Government.
Julia Gillard, the PM is opposed, but her position is odd being in a defacto relationship, an athiest and a fairly radical Lefty for most of her political career.  That there are political reasons for her stance is fairly obvious.

Karen.