I had a session with my therapist today and I told him about what I've been doing on Saturdays, and he asked me "What do I hope to gain?" I told him that by going out to regular places is allowing me to get away from just going to the gender freindly places. I told him that some people that I know told me that when they see me as Gina, they did a double take, which to me is a look of surprise and then it becomes apparent. He seems to think that when they did a double take it was more of a look of surprise and then some embarassment. Then he told me that I am delusional to think that I am 100% passable. I then tried to explain to him that I'm not cross-dressing to gain any acceptance, but I am just more comfortable and I don't see why I have to only do it in my apartment away from everybody. If I were living full time would that be any different?

Gina 

Gina,

Maybe you are delusional, but so what?  Do you have a need to to be out amongst everyone else dressed as a woman?  Yep, and so do many of us.

Do you pass completely?  Apparently if some people still recognize you, the answer is no.  But in the scheme of things, does it matter?  No!

Most importantly, is it delusional to gain clarity into who you really are and take steps to live out that truth?  No.  In fact, to do otherwise would be delusional.

Peace!
Kristi

Well Gina, by your therapist's definition..... I think that I like delusional people prettttty much.

It sounds to me like you are fully aware of what's going on around you.  I'd find another therapist.

Cindi

Hmmm, I hate to say this, but when you pass, people generally don't give you a second look.  However if you are fine with not caring what others think then I would say go for it.

Quote from: gina_taylor on April 30, 2007, 06:13:26 PM
I had a session with my therapist today and I told him about what I've been doing on Saturdays, and he asked me "What do I hope to gain?" I told him that by going out to regular places is allowing me to get away from just going to the gender freindly places. I told him that some people that I know told me that when they see me as Gina, they did a double take, which to me is a look of surprise and then it becomes apparent. He seems to think that when they did a double take it was more of a look of surprise and then some embarassment. Then he told me that I am delusional to think that I am 100% passable. I then tried to explain to him that I'm not cross-dressing to gain any acceptance, but I am just more comfortable and I don't see why I have to only do it in my apartment away from everybody. If I were living full time would that be any different?

Gina 

Quote

I agree with you on going to regular places. I do most of the time. I have gotten looks of shock and surprise, but most people don't care.  I enjoy being out there whether or not I pass. You want to spread your wings and to me that's the way to go. The fact that you are more comfortable tells me that you have a good sense of yourself. I encourage you to keep doing what you are doing.

Gennee

Well Genee and Melissa make a good point.  Not passing 100% only matters if it matters to you.  For me, it would not be the same if I was restricted to "gender-friendly" kinds of places.  What kind of life is that?  For some it's OK, but it would not be the same for me.  Let us know how it goes.

Kristi

Quote from: Kristi on April 30, 2007, 09:30:46 PM
Gina,

Maybe you are delusional, but so what?  Do you have a need to to be out amongst everyone else dressed as a woman?  Yep, and so do many of us.

Do you pass completely?  Apparently if some people still recognize you, the answer is no.  But in the scheme of things, does it matter?  No!

Most importantly, is it delusional to gain clarity into who you really are and take steps to live out that truth?  No.  In fact, to do otherwise would be delusional.

Peace!
Kristi

Hi Kristi,

You've made a very good point in your reply. I know that I don't pass 100%, but it's not really about being passable, but more on the fact that by becoming my true self helps me out psychologically. The only people that I would be worried about recognizing me would be people that I personally know. I can walk by  a complete stranger and I'll get no reaction. They take me for what I am. But as said, my therapist has told me that I live in a fantasy world with my lifestyle and he'd rather see me come back to reality.

Thanks Ell for your comments. My lifestyle is just on eof a few issues that I'm going through with my therapist, so I couldn't really fire him. My last therapist discharged me becasue I had the session days mixed up, which in fact was the doing of his secratary. He does Monday. Wednesday and Friday where I live and the other days he's at a different office.

Hey Melissa, the only time that I get second looks are from people that know me, but I can easily walk by a bunch of people that don't know me and I'll have no problem. But as said, I don't get dressed to please others. I get dressed becasue I'm more comfortable that way.

Thanks for your confidence Cindi. At least I'd rather have one foot in fantasy instead of having it in the grave. LOL And yes I am aware of what's going on around me.


Gina

Quote from: gina_taylor on May 02, 2007, 03:12:29 PM
I can walk by  a complete stranger and I'll get no reaction. They take me for what I am. But as said, my therapist has told me that I live in a fantasy world with my lifestyle and he'd rather see me come back to reality.[/color]

In your first post, you said your therapist called you delusional for thinking you pass 100%.  What could be happening is that people are in fact just seeing you as a transgendered person and leaving it at that.  I think he may just want you to be realistic that there are most likely people who will read you and in the future it's still possible that somebody may act upon their discriminatory thoughts if they have them.  I don't think he's telling you not to live as a woman, but rather to have realistic expectations about your life.  One thing I've noticed is you always seem to be cheerful no matter what happens to you which is a really good skill to have to help with any problems you may encounter.  Good for you with that.

Very interesting thoughts there Melissa, and I will keep them in mind. The other day I was at Books A Million, and I was less than a foot away from a GG, and she didn't seem bothered by me standing so close to her, but I'm not one to let the cat out of the bag and ask her "What do you think of me. Do I look good as a woman?" I really like your approach and just let people have their discriminatory thoughts. I've always had a cheerful demeanor, and thanks for noticing it. Years ago I had a job at a restaurant washing dishes. This restaurant only had  regular customers, so my time there was an hour per shift. One of the waitresses told me that it's amazing on how cheerful I am about coming in for an hour and getting paid under the table, because there wasn't much point in running me through  payroll.

Gina