I have lost the ones who shared their love with me, the last was just before the wedding. One cancer, one complications then pneumonia, the last a massive stroke at too young an age. Still blame myself, especially for the last one. A few years back, when we first realized our love was strong something in the back of my head told me He would take this one too. Being kinda selfish and starving to be happy like so many I see around me, I pushed that feeling to the back of my mind. And I admit after a couple of years I got comfortable enough to think maybe - just this one time, I found the one to spend my life with.     I was wrong.     I blamed both myself for letting her get close enough for her to have this happen, and of course, God for taking another from me. I decided (once again) not to let that happen anymore and have stayed alone since then.

Now my (rhetorical) question, was He punishing me through them, or saving them from me?  I have leaned towards the latter for the last year but don't know why.

First, I am sorry for all the loss you have gone through.

Second, why would God need to save anyone from you? Are you a serial killer, or rapist? Or are you abusive? If not, then there is no reason for God to need to save anyone from you.

I would not give up on love if I were you. Love is an amazing thing, and if you find someone to share it with, that is even more amazing. It does hurt, a lot, to lose the ones we love. But you cannot let that stop you. I believe, that with each pain you suffer you grow stronger as a person. With each setback in love, you will be able to love that much more.

Dear God no! We shared a love so special. I have never intentionally hurt anyone, more of an old hippie, love peace and hate war! It just feels like, I don't know, if they stayed they would have ended up unhappy of something. Maybe it is just me. But I am scared to death to try again...   

It is very difficult to try again. It is hard to open yourself up to the possibility of pain. But, in my opinion it is well worth it.

BillieTex, God did not take your loved ones from you.  God is not testing you.  Each passed in their own time, as we all do.

Treasure the time you had with them.  But remember, they were born into another life, and there they wait for a joyous reunion.

Honor their memory by being the best person you can be; one they would be proud of.

I am trying, I need some good marks for when i get there 

  Atta girl.  I am approching 60 and lost some friends both older and younger.  I though I was the blame of one of those losses, a prospective girlfriend.  At her funeral her family mentioned that it was her stubborness that put her away prematurely at age 38.  A mutual friend who was quite close to her tried twice to get her to date me.  She died from an embolism in the brain caused by rebreaking an ankle by kicking in the door to her room at a ranch she worked at.  She died 3 days later in a coma.  Why was she angry?  Nobody knows.  She was the closest one that I would've dated. 
  Joelene

I am very sorry for your loss - it makes no sense