I don't know but within the last few weeks I have been getting very upset with being "ma'amed". I pretty much know that they are just being polite. That they mean not to offend in any way. I also know I don't really look anything but female--female of such an age that people say "ma'am". I also know that this is a social norm to use this.

I'm doing things to deflect it which work sometimes, i.e saying "hey" as I walk in. (This would be considered polite in my part of the country) Sometimes I say anything else to appear extremely casual.

Funny thing, I was in a restaurant and someone says "Hey guys! What can i get you?" I was so blown away and happy I said to my friend, though loud 'I love this guys stuff'. I think I embarrassed her and she ended up 'ma'aming' me more than ever. Oh well.

I just wondered if anyone else felt the same way and what you do??

--Jay Jay

I think it's always worth looking at it from the person ma'aming you - they are intending to be polite and respectful. Though, if it's someone you see often, you could make a joke of it with them not to ma'am you.

Quote from: Pica Pica on June 18, 2012, 02:29:41 PM
I think it's always worth looking at it from the person ma'aming you - they are intending to be polite and respectful. Though, if it's someone you see often, you could make a joke of it with them not to ma'am you.

Yes, if I know them I can say something and have. I have given people my (given) name. Or said stuff like "I'm not old enough".

The thing is I KNOW they are being polite. Doesn't seem to help my FEELINGS. I understand more on an intellectual level.

For awhile, I thought this is pretty nice given that they are being nice to a person who looks obviously butch. My best friend shot that one down saying I did not at all look obviously butch.     Oh well, that worked for awhile for me.


--Jay Jay

Jay Jay, is it age, gender, or both that bothers you?

Either way, my guess is they're reminding you of things you'd prefer to forget.

When I'm reminded of my advancing age or the mismatch between my body and gender identity, the best I can do is pray for acceptance. Since I'm not all that sure about the existence of an almighty, I pray to me own inner strength. Surprisingly, it works just as well.

Or you could just go with your anger. Nothing makes a person feel more masculine than a good dose of righteous growling indignation. For gender and other reasons I try (often unsuccessfully) to stay away from it, but maybe it'll work for you... 

You could always wear this:

Quote from: agfrommd on June 18, 2012, 03:07:07 PM
Jay Jay, is it age, gender, or both that bothers you?

Either way, my guess is they're reminding you of things you'd prefer to forget.

When I'm reminded of my advancing age or the mismatch between my body and gender identity, the best I can do is pray for acceptance. Since I'm not all that sure about the existence of an almighty, I pray to me own inner strength. Surprisingly, it works just as well.

Or you could just go with your anger. Nothing makes a person feel more masculine than a good dose of righteous growling indignation. For gender and other reasons I try (often unsuccessfully) to stay away from it, but maybe it'll work for you... 

Age or gender? Yes.
I'm more aware of it since I became aware of gender. I think it annoyed me before but not too much-- not it REALLY annoys me-- beyond annoy.
Pray-- I don't think so.
Anger. Hmm.

Seph, I love the t-shirt. I'd need one for every time I go out. :-)
zazzle carries them.

--Jay Jay