How do I properly introduce myself? I'm obviously new and I hope this is where new member posts go. I just recently started to privately confront my identity out of the knowledge and feeling that I cannot keep denying who I am. I'm sure all of you know what I am talking about. Being "in the closet" isn't what I want anymore, I have become tired living in fear of what people might think or how they might see me.

My head is sorta spinning with a dual sense of being brave enough and honest enough with myself to start with, and I feel both some sense of liberation and anxiety. The obvious signs were there long ago, and I repressed it due to the reactions of certain family members, and due to the attitudes of society. I wasn't sure how to deal with how I felt about who I always knew I was. Have any of you ever been where I am? I mean in this place of finally deciding to stand up and be counted, of becoming brave in yourself and then saying "hey, I have a right to do this because this is who I am!"?

What was the starting point for many of you? How did you start your respective journeys? What was it like for you? How many of you had support and how many had to seek out supportive people? Did you ever feel alone in any of this as you went about making your true life happen? What were your fears? I'm asking too many questions now. Thanks for letting me be here and introduce myself!

 

Hi Dawn,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7249 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet 

Hi Dawn,

And a big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm sure you will enjoy the family environment here. There is a mountain of resources and friendships to help you along the way.

Thank you for sharing that most intimidating part of your life with us. It feels so good to be able to express your feelings in open honesty and safety. If its any help, I'll answer your questions based on my experience.

What was the starting point for many of you?
The realisation at age 4, that i was different, and absolutley looooooved all things girl.

How did you start your respective journeys?
Initally, just by accepting I was different. There wasn't a whole heap I could do about it. Later, in my 30's I validated and affirmed my feminine persona, the now Catherine, and just kept working with her on how to best navigate this labyrinth of emotions and feelings.

What was it like for you?
Lonely, scary, frightning at times, incredibly sweet and enjoyable at 'those' select moments. Unique, amazing, honered to be given such an extraordinary gift that others couldn't imagine. Bloody painful sometimes. Sad, funny, exceedingly happy. And this list is not exhaustive.

How many of you had support and how many had to seek out supportive people?
I had absolutely no support whatsoever, so I did the obvious. I went looking for support. Found Susan's many years ago. She provided what was necessary for the time and season, then I returned many years later and found even greater support and friendship. I haven't looked back ever since.

Did you ever feel alone in any of this as you went about making your true life happen?
How do you spell - absolutely - All in capitals I hope in a 360pt font

What were your fears?
Initally! That HRT would kill me before too much happened. That kept me in denial for such a long time. And it blinkered my whole outlook on the matter. I couldn't find a way past it, let alone considering GCS. Fortunately persistance and tenacity prevailed, I discovered the truth and moved forward.

I'm asking too many questions now
No you are not. There is no such condition. Basically it's impossible to ask too many questions.

Well indeed I hope you find the answers to them all. there is one condition though; you just have to keep asking them.

In closing, there is one thing I strongly suggest, and that is to find a therapist would understands TG issues. A good one is worth his/her weight in gold. just make the journey so much esaier, if that's possible.

Keep in touch Dawn, and let us know how you are coping. Hope to here more from you in time to come. In the meantime, be safe, well and ahppy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Thanks so much for the warm welcome! You have both made me feel good with your replies!

I was wondering what to say in reply, and also wondering if I should create a new post on it. I won't do that though, seems like maybe it would just duplicate efforts. I always knew I was different because....I was always told I had a feminine voice. Even today, 99% of the people I make calls to or receive calls from will say "good afternoon ma'am", lol!

More than that, I remember having a favorite female influence and wanting to look like her, sound like her, and act like her. Wanting to be "one of the girls" has always been my most important defining part of knowing who I am. Today, I have been watching some great videos by someone who is actually in transition, and has been a great inspiration to me so far.

Before I get to that though, I read the thread here about making sure we give the same respect and support to those who are not in a financial place to have SRS and who might be in a difficult place when it comes to transition. I am one of those people who is in a difficult place. I can't thank the OP in that thread enough for starting it! Because I am in that sort of difficult place, I can be someone who not only receives it well, but can make sure to follow it well when it comes to the other ladies here. That's such an important thing because we are all in a different phase, we are all in a different set of life circumstances, etc.

I'm one of those who goes into a store and the female outfits, the female care items, the make-up, the hair products, all of that appeals to me and always has. What are the different types of gender dysphoria? I have not yet figured out what dysphoria classification I fit into, other than knowing I am only a female in a man's body. What a weird feeling that is for me! Sorta feels like I'm playing out more of a butchy role than the fem identity.

Watch the video I am linking to and you will see the female type that I identify with more.

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Quote from: Dawn Heart on June 17, 2012, 05:29:46 PM
What are the different types of gender dysphoria? I have not yet figured out what dysphoria classification I fit into, other than knowing I am only a female in a man's body. What a weird feeling that is for me! Sorta feels like I'm playing out more of a butchy role than the fem identity.

Hi Dawn,

You are doing a good job of moving through you journey in such a balanced way.

I wouldn't be too concerned about labels the community want to hang on people. In the words of Annah,"Labels should only be use on candy packages."

Perception also plays an important role in your overall development. For example, I've always seen myself as a girl, in my youth and a woman in later life, due to a lot of minor feminine characteristics I have. So to myself, I've been a woman with prolapsed genitals. I believe surgery will correct this abnormality. And hence all my gestures and postures reflect more a feminine aspect.

The big trick to the whole journey, is to remain open and flexible. You'll know what's right for you. Trust your own instincts.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Welcome Dawn, from sunny southern California.

I moved your post to the Introductions board, where it should be seen more often.

Thanks for joining up.

Thanks for getting my post to the right place!

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on June 19, 2012, 10:15:05 AM
Hi Dawn,

You are doing a good job of moving through you journey in such a balanced way.

I wouldn't be too concerned about labels the community want to hang on people. In the words of Annah,"Labels should only be use on candy packages."

Perception also plays an important role in your overall development. For example, I've always seen myself as a girl, in my youth and a woman in later life, due to a lot of minor feminine characteristics I have. So to myself, I've been a woman with prolapsed genitals. I believe surgery will correct this abnormality. And hence all my gestures and postures reflect more a feminine aspect.

The big trick to the whole journey, is to remain open and flexible. You'll know what's right for you. Trust your own instincts.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Catherine, you are so right about the labels thing! I guess I was nervous and so I was sorta over focusing.

I recognize the gal in the video you posted, but I can't place the name.  I believe she plays electric guitar and used to be a body builder.

Yes, Jaime! She is JesslynGirl87, I believe. She has been an absolute inspiration to me! I cannot believe how she transitioned in the face of almost zero support.

Hi hon - Medicare?  Did I see that?  I just turned 65 this month myself and on Medicare

Anyway - I started my journey November 2008 - I mean, STARTED!  Just like you I could no longer just question what I was, I was just about sure but....  you know.....  I was age 61, and married (third time) and still working as a design professional with a very good salary.  I was diagnosed (as I thought I might be) as pretty much a typical transsexual - which is what I describe as a miserable person, trying to make it work by 'playacting male' but finally just not able to do it any more.    And so my journey began.

I have a long tale to tell and I wont go into that now. (too much to tell really) 

But I am age 65 (this month) and I live as my true self (full time- about 15 months) and I get my SRS in eight days.

Did I mention I am an amazon of a woman?  6'-2" - but it made NO DIFFERENCE - Its doable - it is so doable!

Lizzy

Hi Dawn, it's nice to meet you! I live near Boston. We get visitors from all over. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

Waving hello to Elizabeth K and Devlyn! Thanks for the welcome! Elizabeth K, thanks for the great encouragement. Devlyn, I LOVE hanging out with folks from New York and Boston!

Quote from: Dawn Heart on June 19, 2012, 01:25:25 PM
Yes, Jaime! She is JesslynGirl87, I believe. She has been an absolute inspiration to me! I cannot believe how she transitioned in the face of almost zero support.

That's the one!