When you clock another tg person what do you do? I just make sure that I don't give him/her any too long stares even by accident because that can make them feel bad and also it could make others clock them. In general, I feel like tg people can sort of "sense" each other. Even if a girl is flawless and femme or a transguy is as dudely as they come I just know and I can tell they know too. Do you feel this way ? Like we all have some kinda transdar?

If I'm able to clock a trans person, I pretty much just treat them like a person. There's a couple of trans guys at my Transgender Parents support group who I'd never even guess were trans if I didn't know their history. At first, I thought there were partners of trans parents.

So, I don't even always clock other trans persons anyway.

Quote from: Erin_Grey on June 21, 2012, 03:36:32 PM
Do you feel this way ? Like we all have some kinda transdar?

I'm not sure it's so much that as it is people who have developed a hyper-awareness of the way they look, act and carry themselves in order to be seen as who they are simply applying that awareness to other folks. Picking up on a wider range of indicators, such as subtle cues in body language, which might otherwise be missed had they not learned to read their own body language and know what to look for. Perhaps this comes from a subconscious checklist of things applied to see if someone 'passes' in society in order to determine whether the individual themselves does, or would.

I actually think that the more one accepts themselves within their environment and focuses on other aspects of life, the more this tendency recedes into the background because it's just not something you pay attention to as much.

As for clocking someone, well, that actually means something else where I live so I tend not to use the word. But in terms of noticing... hmm... I don't really scrutinise other folks in that great a depth, to be honest. I'm usually too busy thinking about other things so I tend to take folks at face value and give, at most, a cursory glance, whoever they are. 

Of course I don't stare at them, but still, I pretty much subtley try to look for flaws on their body. Can't help it. For example, there was a woman who was helping me set up a bank account, and she was tall and had a low ass voice. I kept looking for masculine flaws but I couldn't find any, her body was like flawless. I still suspect it though, cause I don't know any young ciswomen with low voices like that.

This is the sort of thing that makes me wonder about the concerns that are so often expressed about passing. People come in such a wide variety of shapes, sizes, voices, deportments or whatever else that there seems to be a large target to aim at for a given gender. I wonder how much of it is down to your own confidence in your gender identity and how much of the window dressing is there to give you the necessary level of confidence.

It also makes me wonder whether us transfolks aren't a marketers dream what with our huge chasms of self-doubt waiting to be filled by the right product or treatment.

Rosie

People used to think that all gay men were effeminate because people used to think that effeminate men were always gay.  When gays started talking about themselves people began to realize that not all gay men fit the previously accepted stereotype.

Yes.. there is some truth that trans people can spot other trans people, just like there was some truth about effeminate men being gay.  But I knew someone for about 10 years and only recently found out that she was m2f, someone from real life, not online.  Had she not told me I never would have known.

I remember earlier in transition I went through a period where I was noticing trans people all the time.  It was something about my own transition that was causing me to notice other trans women and I'm not sure that all of the trans women I spotted during that time were actually trans.  What we think about other people usually means more about ourselves.

What? ...like, you don't use the secret TG handshake???

Not sure about clocking other transpeeps. When I see one, I just smile a little bit! The closest to "clocking" another trans person I ever got (after discovering myself and everything) was trying to determine whether someone is trans or not, which can often times make me cock my head and stare a bit -- in the nicest way possible I guess lol. I mean, despite my excellent gaydar and transreceiver, I just can NOT discern for the life of me with some people. Been trying to determine if someone I know is trans or not for a while now... and if he is, he passes SO damn well that it really makes me think he's not. And if he's not... I'm afraid to ask, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. >.<

As for my "trans sense", yes, I can definitely relate to that. I've experienced this often, as I can just tell... it makes me feel bad sometimes, like I'm judgemental or something, but it's probably just because I'm like that too and as a result I know what to look for? Not sure if that explains it. It's one of those things that you just "do" instead of trying ot really having to think about it.

I see enough masculine natal women that it'd be mostly useless to bother with figuring it out unless someone were fairly obvious. I look at people, but mostly major features and what they wear more so than anything else. 

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on June 21, 2012, 04:34:29 PM
Of course I don't stare at them, but still, I pretty much subtley try to look for flaws on their body. Can't help it. For example, there was a woman who was helping me set up a bank account, and she was tall and had a low ass voice. I kept looking for masculine flaws but I couldn't find any, her body was like flawless. I still suspect it though, cause I don't know any young ciswomen with low voices like that.

I saw this very tall, very skinny almost anorexic looking woman in the supermarket, she immediately stood out. The first thing I noticed was her really skinny legs and she was wearing leggings, her legs were like sticks and her upper body was much bigger than her lower body. She also had very big hands. I thought she must be T? I'm still not sure but I couldn't help looking to try and find out.

Quote from: Elena G on June 21, 2012, 05:45:04 PM
What? ...like, you don't use the secret TG handshake???

We stopped using the handshake 3 years ago... we now use the secret decoder ring. 

I almost spotted one once.

If I see someone that I believe to be trans out in public I just smile politely as I do with anyone and not make an issue

I definitely don't want to out them or make someone uncomfortable and what if I approach them and I'm wrong? Then I've outed myself and insulted someone

As much as I'd like to meet some other trans people, I'm not going to step myself knee deep in a public bog

Haven't met any that I...discerned...were trans, but if I did I'd probably just say, "Hi" like to anyone else.

Hopefully *their* trans-dar is on and they "discern" me...of course, they wouldn't need to have it on...I'm far too easy to read.

Ehm, I've never met a transsexual, or not that I know, at least. So, no idea!

Quote from: A on June 21, 2012, 09:20:34 PM
Ehm, I've never met a transsexual, or not that I know, at least. So, no idea!

The irony of it is that all the people you have met have

I avoid eye contact which seems to be "de rigeuer" in San Francisco.

2 Words.


Confirmation Bias.

Quote from: Elena G on June 21, 2012, 05:45:04 PM
What? ...like, you don't use the secret TG handshake???

This one?

Quote from: Asfsd4214 on June 21, 2012, 11:35:17 PM
2 Words.


Confirmation Bias.

Two words...

Well Done