If that doesn't make sense... please hear me out.

I very, very much wish I was female. I like to be called "she". I desire to be feminine and pretty. I wish I could bear children. I feel I would be much happier in life and society if I were a girl.

But... I can't say that I'm transgender. Body dysphoria? Minimal to none. Of course I'd prefer to look female, but I have no NEED to. I don't hate my penis. I don't hate my body. I don't just KNOW that I'm transgendered or anything. Really, I don't think I am. Not in the sense that many of you here are. But my desire to be a woman is still there.

What do I do? 

(This is coming from someone who currently has a detached view of bodies.)
What do you identify as gender-wise? Would having gender dysphoria or not make that gender more or less valid? Personally, I think it's ok to be whatever gender and be comfortable in whatever body even if it's atypical. Minimal dysphoria is, after all, a good thing.
As for "what if," I think that's for you to find out.

Quote from: Edge on June 21, 2012, 09:25:48 PM
(This is coming from someone who currently has a detached view of bodies.)
What do you identify as gender-wise? Would having gender dysphoria or not make that gender more or less valid? Personally, I think it's ok to be whatever gender and be comfortable in whatever body even if it's atypical. Minimal dysphoria is, after all, a good thing.
As for "what if," I think that's for you to find out.

I am physically male, but wish I was female, and have identified as female for a while now. I do not have gender  dysphoria, or else it's minimal. I didn't know whether that invalidates my identity or not. :/ I wish it didn't, but I've always thought it did. Things people have told me (including on here) have suggested that it did.

*huggles* It doesn't invalidate you, You are wonderful and a special snowflake x3 But seriously, For me I felt kind of like this back when I was a bit younger, For me as I got older it just kind of became something I told myself becasue I was scared. So for me at least, It grew becasue I tried to ignore it (or maybe it didn't really grow, but my ability to hide from it shrunk). It's possible you may over time feel differently about everything in your life (That's really just part of life sometimes), however you can't force yourself to do something now if you aren't ready becasue it's possible that you just don't need it.

You say you wish to be a girl, to be feminine, but that it's not that you hate who you currently are to a great extent. That's not unusual really. Are you worried that becasue you feel like it's a desire and not need that you aren't "worthy" enough to try to change who you are? Or are you currently more happy with being who you are that changing isn't really worth the stress to you?

Basically I think it's mostly self contemplating thing, and that regardless of what you are happy with and do, that ultimately it's the right choice as long as you feel it is.

Quote from: Trixie on June 21, 2012, 09:32:02 PM
I ... have identified as female for a while now.

You are female to me then. (Again, this is coming from someone with a currently detached view of bodies and I am probably not qualified to have an opinion.)

*wuggles*

It's the former. I feel like I'm not "worthy", or that I can't really be considered transgender if I am not dysphoric. And I don't know if it's worth the stress, but if it were up to me, yeah, I would be a woman.

Thank you for answering me. It means a lot. I've been pretty distressed lately.

Quote from: Edge on June 21, 2012, 10:00:29 PM
You are female to me then. (Again, this is coming from someone with a currently detached view of bodies and I am probably not qualified to have an opinion.)

Qualified or not, reading that made me feel good.

I have always believed that a person is what they are based on how they think of themselves coupled with how they identify. I recently decided it was time for me to "come out" privately to myself instead of repressing what I always knew was there about how I felt and how I secretly identified.

One thing I have learned in a short amount of time is that these psych professionals who do the diagnosing in this area are still learning about trans people and what dysphoria is and what it isn't. They are quite aware that a person who says they have no dysphoria may very well be correct but still be trans in other ways, just as someone can say they have no dysphoria but actually DOES have dysphoria but is unable to recognize it. (NOT saying any of this is your case at all, but just offering these things as real world examples)

Dysphoria can also be present in someone who says they are trans and desires to be a female but it can come in so many different ways that the possibilities are many. No matter who or what you are in terms of your female identity, welcome to this place and know that you can feel free to talk amongst all of us and explore whatever you need to explore. Ask whatever questions you need to ask, heck, I'm STILL asking questions!

I have an update coming, so look for it!

Thank you for the response. That post was very, very helpful Dawn.

And yeah, I'll be looking for an update, whatever you mean by that.

 Dysphoria is not required in order to be trans. If transitioning is what makes one happy, then that is certainly an option for them, if they feel it is good and right to do so - having less or no dysphoria certainly makes the journey a lot easier.

If you don't have dysphoria, the question you should be asking is why you should transition - just to be happier? Transition has many consequences, especially if you don't go stealth, so it is hoped that the benefits outweigh the negatives.

Trixie, you are going through EXACTLY the same thing I am. I too have no body dysphoria. My body is fine, except that it happens to be male. I have no strong sense that I AM a female, just that I want to be one, and that I believe a think like one an awful lot. (Of course I don't have a strong sense that I'm male either and never have).

Can't tell where I'm going with this, but at least you know there is one other person here with the same issues.

You were born beautiful and are beautiful so Be Your Self. Find and focus on the sense of inner joy and peace then all outside things will appear. Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances. So what ever make you happy that's who you are. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others .. love yourself and you will be loved. #BeHappy. Once you get the hang of this, before you know it you will KNOW you are the creator of your own #happiness. listen to the music that calls to you from your heart and go where it takes You. Performing inner work, such as meditation and concentration, will ultimately turn peace of mind into a natural habit. #VisualizeHappiness because at the end of the day You are who you are so Smile, Laugh, Love, Give, and Be YourSelf we are all beautiful.

I understand what you mean, to a certain extent, Trixie. Being physically disabled, my hatred for my body is based more on it's fragile state than anything else. Like the modernist axiom goes, "form follows function". From what I've been able to work out on my own, gender identity is really something internal. How your gender identity takes form could be different than the standard "transsexual" experience. Really, labels are problematic. You should only be worried about what will make you feel comfortable and happy, not what category you fit into.

You'll figure it out!

If it harms none, do as you will.

You need no justification too, or validation from, others.

Quote from: Trixie on June 21, 2012, 09:07:22 PM
If that doesn't make sense... please hear me out.

I very, very much wish I was female. I like to be called "she". I desire to be feminine and pretty. I wish I could bear children. I feel I would be much happier in life and society if I were a girl.

But... I can't say that I'm transgender. Body dysphoria? Minimal to none. Of course I'd prefer to look female, but I have no NEED to. I don't hate my penis. I don't hate my body. I don't just KNOW that I'm transgendered or anything. Really, I don't think I am. Not in the sense that many of you here are. But my desire to be a woman is still there.

What do I do? 

Money not been a problem, would you get SRS, breast implants, and FSS tomorrow?

I wish I could respond to each and every one of these posts. They've been very helpful.

Quote from: peky on June 24, 2012, 05:36:24 PM
Money not been a problem, would you get SRS, breast implants, and FSS tomorrow?

No. I'd need to think about that. My main barrier towards "transitioning", as I've mentioned on this site before is my fear of rejection by family, friends and society.

If you feel female and want to be female then you're female. I've heard from lots of trans people on other sites that feel little-to-no dysphoria- it doesn't make them (or you, for that matter) any less of anything.

Quote from: Trixie on June 21, 2012, 09:07:22 PM
What do I do?

I am working with my teenager on a different issues right now.  But the suggestion that I put together in that conversation may be relevant here:

The past becomes irrelevant in many ways.  The costs associated with it are sunk and it is hard to change.  The future however is yours.  Make what you will of it.  The definitions are also history.  Make your own in your future.  You have a right to define yourself and make that future work for your.   Bu above all, you are mostly as you present.

-ms