*puts on her flak vest, military style helmet and wades into the thick of it like Babydoll from Sucker Punch*
Okay, heated emotions and raised passions aside, it comes down to thinking of it a different way and I think both sides will see each other's point by doing one simple thing;
Change the topic, but not the idea.
Imagine instead of the transition issue boil it down; we were born with a condition that surgery was needed to take care of, like a tonsillectomy. I had one, I'm sure some of you have had one. I can't even remember who I've told I had my tonsils out to ... it's not something that comes up much, but when it does, it's not a big deal to me ... if I want chime in I will, if I don't I won't.
As far as I am concerned, why is this any different? The only reason it's a big deal is because we *make it* a big deal. To me, a part of my body that was intended to serve a function that assisted me, developed into something that was causing me harm - just like a tonsil when it goes all nasty. As such, I treated that problem so I could regain my health. I know some of you are thinking "but people have died because someone found out." That's true, but people have died from tonsillectomies too. People have been killed for cheating, and for wearing fur coats, and for life insurance policies. No one can control anyone else's action, all we can do is control our own.
Ever had a wart? Ewww icky, it may gross some people out, and they may think differently of you, but as I like to say "that's their hang up, not yours." If you don't treat it like it's a big deal, and decide to *make it* no big deal, then guess what? It isn't. If you are with someone for a long period of time, you will get a good feel for them. My S/O has a major phobia of bees, can't stand them ... anyone have any idea how often I've swatted them off of the porch and not told her? Not because I'm dishonest, but instead because she'd never go outside again, lol.
I'm not saying anyone else here is wrong, in fact, all of you have very valid points, but I think back to interracial couples, and remember that it wasn't until people accepted that it wasn't a big deal that it became accepted as a whole. The same with LGBT issues, someday, it's not going to be a big deal. It can't *ever* get that way though if *we* make it a big deal. If we ourselves can't get past it, how can we expect anyone else to? I hear people talk about comparing it to cheating, or being "open in admitting it." This makes our procedure a dirty little secret, a shame.
Frankly, the one thing I have learned on my journey is that I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not proud of it, I just am. It's just me. It's something that happened one time. That's all it is.
You lose a bunch of weight and date someone who hates fat people and considers them lazy and useless. That intolerant opinion would be something I'd be dissatisfied with in my partner, NOT something that I would fear telling them about. I see this as the same, it's something that afflicted me that I needed to have medical treatment for ... something out of my control that doctors helped me fix, but it's not any more significant that surviving scarlett fever, or chicken pox, or any of a thousand other things that some people get and others don't. Would you feel obligated to tell someone you suffered cancer when you were in your teens but it went into remission? Doubtful. Are you going to let this be worse than cancer? I refuse.
Any great change in this universe begins with those that are affected. In order for society to get over it, we have to first.
