today was supposed to be a great day for me. my mom agreed to go to  meeting for families of trans ppl.
anyway she came with me to the local lgbt center and met some of my ftm friends most of whom are on t and completely pass......anyway she told be they all look like clowns and made me feel horrible i hate that she said that bout my friends who are really wonderfull ppl.
and to top it off the meeting was postponed \
it just seems like transitioning just gets harder and harder this should be the happiest time of my life im starting t shorly and im having surgery next month..............i just hope things get better


jaded
p.s thanx for listening

Dude (long time no see  )

She'll come around when she's ready to come around.  She seems to be unable to see beyond the surface.  But, there are a lot of people that way.  Be yourself.  Be your BEST self.  Be a son she can feel pride in.  Hang in there!

Karen

i hope her comment wasn't meant as an insult.  Sometimes parents try to be accepting and by doing so make asses of themselves instead.  Did you tell her you didn't appreciate it?

Next time, let her know right out that it isn't okay.

Sorry the meeting was postponed too, but it is a good sign that your mom agreed to go.

hey dude sorry about it.  why she say that?  Im on t and pass. Im a regular dudde; I aint a clown.  it aint good dude.

thanx all and i know but she claims she can tell on all of them which isnt true and that they look like clowns and that i will look like one...im not on t yet at i pass all the time i dont thionk i look like a clown
and truth be told even if i did lookl like a clown it shouldnt matter if im happy that way

\jaded

Sometimes parents will let their own anxiety come out that way. My mother said some horrible things to me just before I transitioned. It was her anxiety and, I guess maybe she thought that if she, my mother, said awful things to me it might dissuade me. She probably thought I was in for much worse from other people.

Turns out that the worst things that were said to me over this whole issue were my ex-wife and my mother. (Not making the same excuse for the ex - she's just a bag). Mum got past it when she saw I wasn't getting that sort of crap from other people.

Dennis

Quote from: jaded on May 03, 2007, 07:08:14 AM
thanx all and i know but she claims she can tell on all of them which isnt true and that they look like clowns and that i will look like one...im not on t yet at i pass all the time i dont thionk i look like a clown
and truth be told even if i did lookl like a clown it shouldnt matter if im happy that way

\jaded

shell come around dude.  u gotta give her time.

thankx everyone your words mean alot to me!
jaded

Parents do have a hard time with this.  My mother told me that "as a dame you are ugly" once. She never thought that I'd make it. But once we spent some time together in public and saw how other people accepted me, she changed her opinion.  It has taken a great deal of time however.

Your mother did make an effort to go with you to the meeting. This is a very positive thing Jaded. This is real progress dude!

Chin up!

Cindi

No, "clown" is definitely NOT what comes to mind when looking at you--how about "cute"? As for your mother...well, I don't want to sound discouraging, but she might not accept the way you are even after a long time. My dad doesn't accept the way I am after two years. However, he still loves me, and I'm sure your mother still loves you. Even if she never accepts what you've done -- and I'm far from saying it's impossible -- you can still have a good relationship if you can put it aside. It sounds like you're about to start your physical transition, so good luck on that! I'm also having surgery soon, too -- I think a few more people on this forum are -- so let's say a collective "good luck" for all of us and a speedy recovery!