Hi Cindy,
I may have already posted, but here I am again. Not sure what the tags are for. I thought I'd share a little about myself and my journey.
My journey began, so far as memory serves, about 62 years ago when I was four or five. Perhaps unlike other TG people, I remember very clearly the moment when I realized my desires. My father and I were taking a walk up the block to Hillside Ave in Queens. We turned right at the corner, then my father said to me "I understand you've been playing with yourself down there. Better stop, or you'll turn into a girl."
At that moment several things happened at once. I knew my aunt had been talking to him, so apparently (my memory of this is vague) she had caught me fingering myself. I promised my father I would stop, but lied and knew I was lying. I acquired a secret, which Jung said was important to acquire at a young age. My father and I would never again be completely open with each other. But most of all, I was enflamed with desire and hid it as embarrassment. Right then and there, I became determined to continue wanking so I would become a girl. This has never worked, of course; but I did become a girl on the inside.
The funny thing after this is, I started attracting to myself people, comic books, and situations which fed this all-consuming fetish, if that is what it was. And my aunt, it turned out, was a child molester whose aim was to produce just this slant in me. I became her creature, and also, though inadvertently on his part, my father's creature.
Now I am taking Fenugreek seed , which promises to complete the transformation I have desired all my life, and which I have partly achieved at several times in the past.
I find a great sense of peace and fulfillment now and a much friendlier feeling towards women. Everything seems to have fallen into place. This is obviously much more than a simple fetish.
End of my story. Sorry to have talked on and on!
Brianna
