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can transwomen say the t word

Started by Natkat, July 09, 2012, 10:43:44 AM

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Shana

Quote from: rachl on July 13, 2012, 06:23:18 AM
Do people not understand that it's essentially "->-bleeped-<-" for trans people?!

OK, maybe you're all right with people using it, but perhaps you could care for those of us who find it deeply offensive?

This is exactly how I feel about it.
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Naturally Blonde

Quote from: rachl on July 13, 2012, 06:23:18 AM
Do people not understand that it's essentially "->-bleeped-<-" for trans people?!
OK, maybe you're all right with people using it, but perhaps you could care for those of us who find it deeply offensive?


If I went up to someone in the street and said 'I'm a transwomen' they would wonder what the hell I was talking about! for goodness sake ditch these awful tags which are degrading and only serve to alienate a person. I am female and I never indicate otherwise.
Living in the real world, not a fantasy
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: rachl on July 13, 2012, 06:23:18 AM
Do people not understand that it's essentially "->-bleeped-<-" for trans people?!

OK, maybe you're all right with people using it, but perhaps you could care for those of us who find it deeply offensive?

It's only like that if we as a whole let it be that way. Society doesn't see it as offensive as a whole (at least from what I've seen), why do we need to give ourselves an offensive term? It does nothing but gives the haters a word to use to tick us off.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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rachl

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on July 13, 2012, 01:04:08 PM
It's only like that if we as a whole let it be that way. Society doesn't see it as offensive as a whole (at least from what I've seen), why do we need to give ourselves an offensive term? It does nothing but gives the haters a word to use to tick us off.

A white person hatefully calling a black person "->-bleeped-<-" is hurtful regardless of whether the black person 'lets it' hurt them. It's what the word represents and how it's used by non-trans aware people. It's meant as an extremely negative term. It's far too early to try to reclaim it.

People need some awareness of the history and politics of the language before they galavant around using that word while it's still widely used to hurt trans people.
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cynthialee

well if we are going by the history of the word...it was coined by trans* folks
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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crazy old bat

Its used to call someone something other than male or female and yeah, society isn't going to see it as offensive on the whole because society is primarily cis, it doesn't affect them and gives them another term to use to tell someone that something is wrong with them. Either they look wrong or don't meet their definition of either female or male.

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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Jaime on July 13, 2012, 04:06:19 PM
Its used to call someone something other than male or female and yeah, society isn't going to see it as offensive on the whole because society is primarily cis, it doesn't affect them and gives them another term to use to tell someone that something is wrong with them. Either they look wrong or don't meet their definition of either female or male.

Why should the use of that word effect you? It's like picking a random word like oogibladoogibla and saying oh that word is offensive to my kind....

It's not a vulgar word. Transsexuals say it on tv.. idk why we have to take offense. It's just opening us all up to having people who hate transsexuals call us something "negative" when it doesn't have to be.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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crazy old bat

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on July 13, 2012, 05:19:00 PM
Why should the use of that word effect you? It's like picking a random word like oogibladoogibla and saying oh that word is offensive to my kind....

It's not a vulgar word. Transsexuals say it on tv.. idk why we have to take offense. It's just opening us all up to having people who hate transsexuals call us something "negative" when it doesn't have to be.
So you are fine with people that hate us calling you whatever they want and it means nothing to you?  I really doubt that and I imagine you will eventually get tired of your friends calling you that while outing you whenever they want to have fun exposing the "fake chick" to people for their own amusement.

And even if we were to accept that word, which I never will, it doesn't mean it will no negative meaning when people are calling you that while threatening you or even beating the hell out of you.  Its too ingrained as meaning  not a  real woman in its use and I will not accept its use for me from anyone, period.
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Jaime on July 13, 2012, 07:20:09 PM
So you are fine with people that hate us calling you whatever they want and it means nothing to you?  I really doubt that and I imagine you will eventually get tired of your friends calling you that while outing you whenever they want to have fun exposing the "fake chick" to people for their own amusement.

And even if we were to accept that word, which I never will, it doesn't mean it will no negative meaning when people are calling you that while threatening you or even beating the hell out of you.  Its too ingrained as meaning  not a  real woman in its use and I will not accept its use for me from anyone, period.

I'm fine with people using the word ->-bleeped-<-. If it's someone I don't like then I'll deal with it as someone I don't like, not as someone who said the wrong word and they committed a party foul.

Transsexual is too ingrained into meaning not a real woman too. What's so bad about the shortened version of it. My true friends can call me a ->-bleeped-<- all they want, it doesn't mean they see me as any less of a girl and they're not making fun of me by using it either.

Whoever wants to be offended by the use of a word go ahead. I refuse to let someone get me worked up over it.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Becca

Personally I can't think of a worse thing to be CALLED. I have used it to describe myself, usually in therapy sessions when I was being unduly hard on myself. I would never use this word to describe someone else. The other day I was talking about a trans friend with my therapist, and I simply mentioned that she was "like me" and my therapist got the message. Surely with as extensive as the english language is we can have discussions without the use of offensive slurs.
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cynthialee

when you allow someones choice of words to effect you to the point that you are emotionaly harmed, especialy when coming from someone who is intentionaly trying to harm you, you give them power

next time someone hurls an epitath at you just look mildly confussed as if they failed to even deliver the insult properly, not with an over the top delivery however, but with a very mild touch of amusement that they didn't find the right way to get to you and watch them go balistic, now you have the power on them

or if you wanna get real gutsy and you are pretty sure you can get out of the scene fast: after the ->-bleeped-<- insult, just quip back, 'I am sick of you insulting me in public after sucking me off in private you piece of crap, it's over between us jerk' then run like Forest Gump!
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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rachl

Sooo...it's black people's fault for being mad at people calling them "->-bleeped-<-"?

Let's not blame the victims of hate speech, ok?
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: rachl on July 13, 2012, 10:07:01 PM
Sooo...it's black people's fault for being mad at people calling them "->-bleeped-<-"?

Let's not blame the victims of hate speech, ok?

The only way the word ->-bleeped-<- becomes the same as the N word is if we let it.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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rachl

It doesn't work that way, though.
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cynthialee

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on July 13, 2012, 10:21:17 PM
The only way the word ->-bleeped-<- becomes the same as the N word is if we let it.

Quoted for truth.

You are so right!
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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Penny Gurl

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on July 13, 2012, 10:21:17 PM
The only way the word ->-bleeped-<- becomes the same as the N word is if we let it.

AMEN! Once again back to my orginal thought on it... CONTEXT MATTERS!

I'd give you a +1 on that if I could figure out how.. lol.. but i totally agree.
"My dad and I used to be pretty tight. The sad truth is, my breasts have come between us."

~Angela~
My So-Called Life
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Kadri

In my own experience in the Australian or New Zealand context, people tend not to give the word have a negative connotation within their own community. If it has a negative connotation in the US, does that mean we have to follow whatever they do and stop using it ourselves, I wonder?
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UCBerkeleyPostop

Quote from: Kadri on July 18, 2012, 11:12:04 PM
In my own experience in the Australian or New Zealand context, people tend not to give the word have a negative connotation within their own community. If it has a negative connotation in the US, does that mean we have to follow whatever they do and stop using it ourselves, I wonder?
It does not have a "negative connotation" in the US. It is a transphobic slur. If there was some English speaking country where the N-word did not have a "negative connotation" would it be OK to use it there?
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sandrauk

Jeez I've been insulting myself for years and I didn't even know it.

As I see it I don't care who says it as long as they're not yelling it down the street. I did get  "transvision vamp" yelled at me in the south of france a few weeks ago. Think he was a bit surprised that I was english and asked him why he said that.
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Jayne

I will use the "T" word from time to time to refer to myself, I only use the word when i'm joking around & only around certain people, those people know that my main rule in life is "if you can't laugh at yourself then you shouldn't laugh at others".
The people I use this word around have never used the word around me though but they do have a good natured laugh with me, at no point whilst having a laugh at each other has anything been said with malice.

I think what counts more than the word is the intent or emotion behind it, if any word is intended to be hurtfull then i'd be offended.
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