My parents were accepting of me the way I was. They didn't try to force me into meathead sports or ritual hunting of animals, and they didn't mind that I spent almost every Sunday of my childhood playing make-believe games with a girl. So there I think i got a fair dose of girl-upbringing without even knowing it. My teenage years were terrible, I just had no idea why.

Young women in their early twenties make me feel a bit sad. They make me wish I had sorted things out ten years earlier than I did.

I am surrounded  by females all day every day and its hard to not think of my past the whys and why nots, sometimes inner child work can help, it brought me to my knees its not for everyone, but i found a way to become more at ease with myself.

I miss it, but only in a non-painful way.  I muse often on how it would have been had I been able to experience my total life as a girl....a womyn.  I'm not jealous, exactly, but yes......it's something I missed out on.  And looking back is waay different for me, as I began transition at 54 (yeah....old ts dude!) But then, I am who I am, and also who I was.  I have a very close bond to my wife/partner, and my family, and that would all have been different if I had a different past.  I'm 61 yr older womyn and have a long time in front of me.
Soooo............looking at all the younger girls and womyn I could have been, and grokking the gestalt, I am who I want to be.  I am free.  However I got out of the cage, I'm free, no shoulda, woulda, coulda allowed.  I'm out, and have my partner and (most) family intact.  Once free, there's no real point looking back.

Hi,

To live as a boy or girl had no impact on myself as a kid. i was different to start with in how my brain is hard wired,

As a kid i was not forced in any particula way & really most of the time i was happy & known as the kid who was allways smileing.
So was i a boy or girl i did not see boy or girl. i did not think as one or the other, i was 10 when i knew what i was. intersexed,

My Mom was neat i was allowed to be my self & do those things i liked , yes well still had to help out in the house washing day get the copper going & hand wring the hot steaming clothes out hard work for a kid, well just Mom  & i , till her Mom & Dad came to stay with us for 7 years,  health issues,

No i did not miss out ether way.

Jos & i have had our 3 kids two boys & a girl  all grown up of cause & with there own.

My only regret would be i could never carry my own child . So Jos has done that yea i know its not the same , Kaylyn gave birth to 4 kid'es &   one is very close to me that was 9y 6m's ago,
so shes very special to me as in shes my child i could never have,

So over all iv been blessed in  so many ways were i lack its been made up to me over the last 18 years, in more ways than   could have been ,  had i just been ....only..... a female .

my disadvantage not being ether a male or female , my advantage has been being born both male & female at birth.  being around me now youd see only a female / woman , so yes its pretty good,

...noeleena...

I am
I think what i wish i could have experienced most is the daddy daughter bond that could have been.
I have an okay relationship with my dad now (finally) but growing up was very difficult and i can't help to question how different things would have been if gender was such a crucial part of my life being transexual

Yes it would have been wonderful to grow up and experience that part of life.  I just embrace life for what it is now and enjoy being able to come out.

Sometimes, when I see a young girl, I do feel a bit sad that I missed out on that. As a child, I used to want to play with the girls, to play house and such, but I had fun playing with the boys. But I missed out on cute dresses, girly movies, and other little girl desires that I had to hide and pretend wasn't there.

Quote from: asi on July 07, 2012, 06:11:11 AM
I feel that one of the most painful things for me is , that I was not raised as a girl and a girl.

I second that.

I often wished I had experienced childhood as a girl.

Of course, but I think it saddened me more when I watch documentaries where young children come out to their parents and their parents take them to see gender therapists.  I wish my mum did the same and I was given the chance to be who I am, instead of being forced to be a boy....  We can all hope and wish that things should have been in a certain way, but start thinking of the present and work towards a wonderful future

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on July 07, 2012, 06:31:15 AM
Not really, it bothers me more when I look at teenage girls. My childhood was happy, things didn't go downhill until I hit puberty.

X10,000,000

It's teenage girls and young women...and it is driven by jealousy.  I started really hating my body when puberty started and I didn't have those female experiences.  I wasn't able to have my first prom dress, try out for the cheerleaders, have that engagment shower...the list goes on.

But I am finally at a point to where I embrace my opportunity NOW to do the things women my age are doing...I have really surprised myself at just how some of the non-glamorous things have really been enjoyable for me. 

Not really. My childhood was bad and the same exact  bad things would.still have happened. All in all my life is  ok now and I have people that love and support me so I'm happy

Yes and no.
For a time I did want to but curcumstances changed when my mum died when I was nine, I am sure she would have supported me as she knew from an early age about my GID and we talked about it more than a few times as she mentioned this idea of becoming a girl to me which at the time was incredible.
Then my world changed when my father returned from years overseas with work, who told my sister and I cold that he wished we had died in the same accident. Understandably I dont have a good relationship with him or care what he thinks. From about the age of 10 it was all about survival and escaping the situation which I did at 16. Sometimes it is more important to deal with the most serious issue first as it took me years to talk to someone about this and watching my mum die next to me, it tore me up keeping it secret for so long in many ways is as hard as talking about my GID issues. Yes what could have been but sadly was not.

Oh, I don't know.  I was a very solitary child anyway.  I mostly kept to myself and read books from a very early age.  (I was reading at a fairly advanced level by first or second grade.)  By the time I got to my teen years and junior high school, I had grown very close with my "posse" of girlfriends; there were 5 of us, me, Andi, Tammy, Debbie, and Alaine.  We were inseparable for the 3 years of junior high.  We hung out, listened to music, went to restaurants.  The girls would often dress me up in their clothes; it was fun to us.

Things were difficult and relationships were distant in the house I grew up in.  I grew up with a goal, a burning desire: to be a woman.  I think that desire kept me focused as I moved into adulthood.  My little sister had no focus, and she grew up to be a very young slut and a porn actress.  Sometimes I think that I might have followed a similar path if I had been born cis-female.

I really like the woman I've grown up to be!  I am very pleased with how my life has turned out.

Interestingly enough, with all of the fun I have these days playing with makeup, with my slender curvy body, my waist length pink, blue, purple, and   black hair, and bangs to my eyelashes, my partner says that I look a lot like a Barbie Doll.  She thinks that is why little girls are intrigued by and drawn to me everywhere I go.  Whenever I see little girls, they just fixate on me; they are fascinated by me... they often stand and stare... I wish I knew what goes through their minds as they stare at me.  My partner always says, "Little girls know a Barbie Doll when they see one."  It just tickles me.

Sorry I'm invading your conversation, but I feel quite a resonance with the topic. Of course, only the opposite.

I always feel this strong surge of jealousy and sadness when I see little boys, because I feel like no matter what the future holds, I can never have those lost days back. The past will always be wrong, and I feel like I missed out and on an important part of my life. Hell, I'm still missing out on being a teenage guy as well. It's something that really bothers me. 

I feel saddest seeing girls in their teens and early twenties (I'm 28 now). There is a lot of fun to be had in those years and I do feel like I missed out because of my gender incongruence. That said I try to accept it.

Quote from: glicious on July 18, 2012, 06:48:37 AM
Of course, but I think it saddened me more when I watch documentaries where young children come out to their parents and their parents take them to see gender therapists.  I wish my mum did the same and I was given the chance to be who I am, instead of being forced to be a boy....  We can all hope and wish that things should have been in a certain way, but start thinking of the present and work towards a wonderful future

My Mum was very supportive and did suggest I see a gender therapist. I told her there was no cure and that they'd just tell me I was a freak (obviously I'd internalised the prejudice from society at large). and she left it as an open door. I really, really, really regret not taking her up on that offer. Single worst decision of my life.

I don't dwell on it, but I recognise that a different decision then would have likely made the rest of my life significantly better and easier.

Such is life. There's no point in dwelling on it, I just have to learn from that mistake and use it to inform my future decisions.

Yes at times I do feel bad about not having a normal female childhood.
I remember as a child being jealous of my sisters.
There is one vivid memory of them playing with dad.
I can even see myself standing near by and they had fun together.
It look like so much fun but I had to be a little man.  

But most of the time I am just happy to be the women I have become.
If I hadn't went this route I wouldn't have become the person I am.

Well, I don't really have many memories of my childhood, so I don't think it matters how I grew up. It would have been nice, but it's not like I had a terrible childhood. Of course, growing up as a boy meant a lot of pain (BB tag, etc.), but it was still fun. On the bright side, I'll be one of the few girls who actually understands men seeing as to how I was raised as one.

Huh, I've been thinking about this for a while, actually.

Yes. I feel sadness when seeing little girls, wondering what I missed.

For me, I knew I was different at a very young age, probably 6 or 7. However, I didn't know HOW I was different. At the same time, I thought it was normal for little boys to wonder what it was like to be a little girl, and vice versa.

Anyway... I think that almost everyone has a bad teenager-hood. I don't really know anyone who didn't have a rough time during at least part of that awesome stretch of 9 years when they were a teen. For me, I binged on mountain dew, wasted my life on a computer, and generally didn't really GROW that much.

Oh and Hi. I'm... Back.

Not growing up as a girl? It does make me a little sad, and I do wish I could have experienced it. But, until I was about 7 years old, I grew up with only an older sister and we did play with Barbies and my little ponies, and played dress up (until my mom began discouraging it) and house. So I did have a bit of the experience. My problems really came in middle school, with puberty. So, sometimes, yes I do feel sad when I see the preteen and teenage girls, growing up, finding themselves, turning into women--just naturally and without any barriers. That it just happens for them, and they still have their best years ahead of them, has been a point of difficulty for me for some time. But as I have already spent a good amount of time trying to get over my past, for many other reasons than just my GID, I really mostly look forward to the future, and the transition ahead of me.

In a word: Yes!

C'est la vie, c'est le guerre.  It's better to see the glass as half full.  Regrets to the back of the bus.  Onward, ever onward.  Don't look back, something may be gaining on you.