I'm still fairly new here and have only within the last week began accepting myself as being transgender. I know there is a long road ahead and today I got the idea that maybe I should start a diary to keep track of my journey. I'm hoping tonight to go to the store and pick up a notebook for this. I've come up with a female name for myself which I'm feeling fairly confident that I'll stick with and was wondering if you think it is a good idea to start right away signing my new name in my diary. The name I have chosen for myself is Claire, btw.

I find keeping a diary helps with many aspects of life. I also keep a blog on this site, because I realized that more than just keeping track I wanted a bit of feedback about my choices and thoughts which is why anyone is free to comment on my blog posts.

Sometimes it really helps put things into perspective when you can see how crazy you were in the past :p since my diaries go back a bit over 10 years I see some rather questionable things from when i was a teenager.

Claire is a lovely name I think.

I started keeping a journal a couple of years ago at the suggestion of a trans-sister and at the time it seemed kind of silly. Now i'm very grateful that i started it; i can read back through the pages and see what I was going through at the time, and i can express thoughts in it that help me think through the issues in my life. It's a private journal on my computer and no one will ever see it so i write anything/everything in it. You'll be glad you started your own journal!

Well, I just got done making my first diary entry as Claire. Probably the most I've ever talked about my feelings, but it felt good and liberating to do so. I hope that many more good entries are to come from this. I chose the name Claire for myself earlier today when I was looking up the meanings of names. The name Claire seemed to stick out from the list of names so I looked it up and saw that it is defined as "Bright." I know that is a good fit for me since I do consider myself a highly intelligent and gifted person. Also, I feel it is hopefully a good reflection of how the future is going to shape up for me.

Hi Claire,

Congratulations. You are moving along quite well. A diary is always a good idea. Help you keep things in perspective. Also nice to read in years to come, to celebrate your successes.

Nice name you have chosen. Now you'll have to go round all the stores and get store loyalty cards in your name. Just watch the mail come in with your name on it. That really starts to affirm and validate who you really are.

Funny experience last week, I had a finance company ring me as I'm finalising a mortgage. I used to have two initials in my name 'RP'. I dropped the 'R' about 40 years ago, but for legal reasons have to use it sometimes. Well this finance guy rings me and asks for 'R'. Immediate reaction, I said nobody here by that name and hung up. He rang back trying to work out what was going on. It then clicked with me. Call me 'R' and you'll get no response from me, even now call me 'P' and it takes a while to register. Call me Catherine and you have an immediate response.

Enjoy the new Claire, in more ways than one.

Keep up the good work. See you soon.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

I've kept a diary/journal since i was about sixteen. I had an event then and it was thought that writing my thoughts down when I wished would be beneficial. It has been a total hoot.

I have read about a woman growing up.

I used to think  had missed out on my teen female years and my early life female years. I hadn't I just didn't realise it.

Now I can reflect and enjoy my triumphs and my tragedies.

The exact time I took my first dose of oestrogen, sitting in a the car park outside the chemist

The first time I went out as me, terrified little wimp.

The second and third times quaking in my high heels.
My first laser,  My first eyebrow shaping. My first coming out. My sitting in the make up chair and trying not to run like Hell.

My first, 'Can I try these on' in a boutique.

My first time asking a guy at the gym to lift a weight on to the leg press because I couldn't lift it safely any more. My legs are strong but upper body has decreased.

My first time being insulted by jerks at the gym. Watching the jerks being taken away by  two guys who I had never spoken too, but each had more muscle in either arm than in my body.  Their easy smile and comment that if I ever felt bothered to let them know.

My tears.

My total and unexpected joy and complete delight in accepting myself.

My Psychiatrist telling me I'm the happiest TG MtF he has ever met.

My tears and fears that tear me apart.

Going back and finding where I have come from.

My name is Cindy, Queen of Queens: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair . With apologies to Shelly and Ozymandias 

Keep a  journal, it helps.

Sometimes we forget the steps we have taken.

They are big steps by very brave people.

Never forget that.

And keeping a journal helps.

Hugs

Cindy

Congrats Claire on that lovely name, Keeping a diary will be fun and exciting with all the emotional ups and downs that come with life, and a therapy tool to take to you doc to discus your thoughts should you wish to or for self analysing one self...
Along with keeping important dates and milestones and random thoughts that are a interesting read in future years and realise how far you've come....

Cheers Tracy

Love the name Claire.

I never thought of keeping a diary.  It's kinda late now but I guess it's never too late.  I think I shall give it a try and see how it goes.  Thanks for planting the seed Claire.

Hi Claire,

I love your name!

I started my first diary at age 13... I'm 47 now.  Journaling has been a wonderful way throughout my life to keep my thoughts straight, to purge things from my head that had no business being there, and to reason things out.  It seems kind of cool as I look back that I have my entire life documented in writing... the good and the not so good. 

My diaries (and I have a huge stack of them at this point) have always been completely private, off limits to all but me.  Then 5 years ago I met the love of my life!  Peaches is a woman with whom I feel safer than I have ever felt with anyone... in my entire life!  My life is an open book to her.  Literally.  When we first moved in together, I told her that my diaries are completely open to her, past and presents diaries!  I never imagined that I would trust another person so much.

I just can't express fully enough all the ways that keeping diaries have improved my quality of life... the writing of them... the looking back at them from time to time... and now unbelievably, the sharing of them with my Beloved.

I hope your journaling experience is every bit as delightful as mine has been.

Peace,
Miharu

Keeping a diary is a good way to chart your progress. It's a way to release tensions, frustrations, and chart your concerns. I started a blog when I as struggling (it's still going).

I have started keeping a diary here lately too. I find it really helps with getting things out plus its a good way to track pf your progress

I filled at leat three diaries as a teenager, although I probably won't open them until more than 20 years later. In the end, it was too time consuming. More than diaries, they were complete philosophical essays.

After that I started blogging about my life, but everything was halted every time I found a job.


And if I were to retake the habit... It is a problem, since I don't want to write personal things for fear of them being found (I don't have a lot of privacy). The fact is that I am addicted to notebooks and fountain pen, so I don't get the same satisfaction from typing (unless it is a typewriter, I am that nostalgic), although it is safer. Writing feels as extracting things directly from your head, and it is like if your emotions could be deduced from the handwriting... If I was nervous, happy, angry... That dissapears when you switch to arial 10.

If you keep your diary on the computer there is a nifty utility that you can use to keep it 100% private. Its free too.

The utility is called "truecrypt". You use it to create an encrypted file on your computer that you access via truecrypt. When you have the file "mounted" it appears in file explorer as a disk drive letter and you use it just like a normal disk on your computer. When you "dismount" it becomes inaccessible. The file is encrypted using AES and a 256 bit key. This level of encryption is cleared for top secret documents by the US government.

There is also an option to create a second secret encrypted portion inside the same file with a different password, which might prove handy if you think that you might ever be forced to divulge the first password.

I keep my journal and various other private documents on my own truecrypt volume.

Quote from: riven1 on September 17, 2012, 08:37:44 PM

The utility is called "truecrypt".

What I use for the porn and accounting files, xD. Still, I will need to fin a better hideout for the pre-digital diaries.

From the ftm "side", I've done some journaling of my thoughts and feelings. Nothing where I was doing this every day. I think it's helped some.


--Jay Jay