The other thread really depressed me. I've always wanted to have lots of friends to have fun with and as a young transwoman the idea that I'll be seen as unfriendable really scares me.

As for me I have about the same amount of friends as before I started transitioning, maybe more. About 5 really good ones and a lot of okay ones that I don't really talk to much.

I am assuming it was my thread that depressed you. I am truly sorry that you feel that way now but if you look at the end of the thread there is a happy ending!:)

This thread looked kind of lonely...


You'll make friends. There's always someone out there who will like you. The trick is to find them...which means you have to talk to a LOT of people, most of whom aren't interested (not just in trans-people, but by definition, we're all unique and that means most people are significantly different from us as individuals).

Like the old saying...you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. True for friends as well as romance.

Shh! Quiet! There's a cop in here!

LOL

lonely?Never! There is always me and me, we keep each other company, and we are never alone

Quote from: Beth Andrea on July 28, 2012, 12:37:44 PM
Shh! Quiet! There's a cop in here!

LOL

haha.. funny Beth:P

Quote from: Jen-Jen on July 28, 2012, 12:53:11 PM
haha.. funny Beth:P

*hugs*



  <--wonder why the cop-smilie is wearing baseball hat "Gomer Pyle"-style?

Lonely?  Oh heck no!  Besides being extremely happily married, I have a few very good friends that I spend time with.  I also have a standing Thursday night date with 50 or 60 of my closest friends in pool league every week.  I am very well loved in the Portland pool community; I can walk into any pool hall in the Portland area and bump into at least a few friends. 

In my experience, the secret to having lots of friends is to exude genuine joy as much as I can muster.  Being lovable makes us, well, lovable.

Kisses!   
Miharu

Am I lonely? No and Yes.

No, in that I actually have more friends now that I'm full time.

Yes, in that my partner of 23 year divorced me and I feel like I don't have any one in particular to share my life with. I don't like sleeping alone. I want to have that person to hug/kiss hello/goodbye on a daily basis again.

Maybe I'll have that again at some point.

 I don't think being trans is the biggest deciding factor in how many friends, or the quality of friends, most trans people have - at least, that would be my guess. Trans people tend to have less friends, but it's mostly because of the baggage that comes from being as such ... like, trust issues, paranoia, prejudgement, low self-esteem, low confidence, or things like that.

If you're making friends now, you should be fine during and after transition; I'm less lonely than I was before transition, myself - and that's a fairly significant statement! I've definitely had a very small number of friends over the course of my life, and not even out of not wanting any; I'm just not good at keeping friends, I suppose. Though I am okay at making them, these days.

I had trouble being friendly with people before I went full time. I think that since I feel more like "me" now, that comes across to the people around me. As a result, I have more friends now.

I don't want to apologize, so I won't: I'm not lonely at all. I have lots of friends to hang out with, a great work environment, and a girlfriend who adores me. I have more, and better, friends and friendships than I had pre-transition. I know that I'm really lucky, though. I don't take it for granted.

Quote from: rachl on July 28, 2012, 02:43:44 PM
I don't want to apologize, so I won't: I'm not lonely at all. I have lots of friends to hang out with, a great work environment, and a girlfriend who adores me. I have more, and better, friends and friendships than I had pre-transition. I know that I'm really lucky, though. I don't take it for granted.

well i am happy for you and all those with real friends..

I have a neat lil farm but its rustic and i hope to one day make it a B+B in hopes i can not be so lonely.. until then boo hoo hoo 

Coming out at work and transitioning on the job was something I was really worried about. And, there are a handful of people who aren't speaking to or looking at me anymore.

But overall, work has been just fantastic. People who had been merely coworkers back when I was David are genuine friends now that I'm Constance. I think that's part of why I'm not as miserable as a divorced person as I thought I would be. I still miss that deep connection with a single person, but these multiple friendships are great!

Now that my marriage is ending I am making new friends everyday. I am a very outgoing person, so I have never had trouble making friends. The main reason I didn't is because my roommate (formerly known as my wife) never wanted me to have friends. All the people I meet now know I am trans, and have no issues with it. I don't try and hide it, which seems to put people at ease.

So, to answer the question, no I am not lonely.

I lost family but I gained people who actually give a crap about me. Go figure

I'm not lonely! I'm loved. Very very. Physically alone? A lot, but that's part of ife for some people.

I made so many more trans and non-trans friends after transition. The further I went into my transition the less I talked about trans stuff even with my trans friends. Most of what I talk about with my trans friends (especially the younger ones) is completely unrelated to being transgender.

I use to have trans friends when i went to conventions and meetings etc etc but since i stopped and since i never was actively sexual it seemed i was frowned on and advoided..

I am not saying all were like this but i didn have to deal with many who wanted sex while i wanted freinds and love

I have my garden which is very friendly to me 

Quote from: Amazon D on July 29, 2012, 06:32:50 PM
I have my garden which is very friendly to me 

awww.....your so cute!