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"Hooking Up" and Transitioning

Started by BMXJake, July 28, 2012, 07:27:44 PM

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BMXJake

Hey guys, so just to play it safe, I just want to say this might be a trigger for the sex/dating scene and the "bottom parts" side of things.

So I was wondering, have any of you guys had experiences (positive, negative or neutral) with "hooking up" or "picking up" women (or guys, if that's your thing) in transition or "post" transition. Like, picking them up while presenting as male; and picking up/hooking up in the sense of what goes on with the traditional club/bar scene.

If you did, did it continue if/when you "came out" at some point in the night, or did you actually not come out and "kept the lights off" so to speak? (Although I can't really imagine that works too smoothly).

I'm admittedly the beta-male, long term relationship type, so I'm not exactly curious for my personal gain (although I am curious); but some of my more womanizing/ slightly misogynistic "bro's" got me thinking about this when they asked if it'd be possible for me with transition/from the standpoint of a transman, so I said I'd ask some other guys if they had any experiences.

Cheers


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fooledthecrowd

If I meet somebody and it's clear that they're interested, I tell them up front. Personally, I find it easier that way. It gives them time to think about it and ask questions instead of telling them as we're about to go at it and end with it ruining the moment.
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MrTesto

I'm gay. If the connection is in person (instead of an online profile), I time disclosure depending on what the activities are likely to include, especially if the other guy is looking for to sexually bottom somehow. In a casual situation (hooking up, or cruising), I'm not going to disclose until it's clear that the guy is interested and/or hard. But whether it's a hookup or figuring out a more lasting relationship, I'm going to wait until the other guy knows me, as a man, and not early on as a transsexual man.

It's still surprising to me how many non trans gay men are cool with the situation...but my surprise is more about me than about them. And when the disclosure is a deal-breaker, that's not something to be pissed at them about. Guys reject guys for all sorts of reasons, and this is just another one.
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fooledthecrowd

Quote from: MrTesto on July 28, 2012, 07:53:12 PM
It's still surprising to me how many non trans gay men are cool with the situation...but my surprise is more about me than about them. And when the disclosure is a deal-breaker, that's not something to be pissed at them about. Guys reject guys for all sorts of reasons, and this is just another one.

Agreed. I've been (pleasantly) surprised at how cool non-trans guys have been about it as well.
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Natkat

I havent hooked up with strangers in a long time.. (haha I need to get laid XD)
last time I did we wrotte some messages and then desided to meet outside doing it in his car.
I did tell him I was trans before that and he was fine with that. I havent had that many guys rejejcting me for being trans (never hooked up with a stranger-girl so cant talk about that) But sure there are few who isnt interesteed, or who just are "d**kheads if they find out, and then I prefern letting them no before anything, than getting rejected in the middle of everything..

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