I got pretty weirded out when I saw someone in the pub once who might have been a trans woman, but I was in a very strange mindset at the time.  It was a mix of emotions that was being unsure of whether she was trans or not, and then if she was, part of me wanting to pour everything out to her, part of me wanting her to suspect that I was (I'm always read as female at work and that's all the other staff know me as) and part of me wanting to run a million miles away.  I don't think I exchanged more than about two sentences with her though.

My ex has discovered since breaking up with me that they're trans* of some description, I don't know whether they ID as female, nothing or both, and I'm not entirely sure they know either.  Part of the reason I don't know is because I don't want to talk to them about being trans, I try to ignore it as much as possible and just be a person and think of gender as little as possible while still knowing that I'm male.

I don't know any trans guys though.

I really don't interact with other transguys since the somewhat biggest community near me is 1,5h train trip away so I'm pretty much "the one and only" I know.

But I've been in meetings and I've always felt kinda uncomfortable or awkward, at least. I think it's because I'm stressing about my appearance, especially since I'm pre-everything, and whether or not all the "equipment" looks okay (aka binder and packer).
In other words, I'm worried if the other transguys think I pass for a guy.

And of course everyone else looks so much more likely pass than me so it's really not helping.
I'd have to fix my own thoughts about this.

I've only met one other trans person in my life so far; she was a complete bitch.

Made fun of me, and made my blood boil.
All I wanted to do was knock her in the damn face and point out everything about her that was manly
just so she'd feel as dysphoric as she made me feel...

But I was at work, so I nicely took all the insults she had to throw at me...

-

Right now, my girlfriend is the only trans individual I'd hang out with.

Update: And Jason(JasonRX) xP

While I'm not a trans guy, I have felt this way around other disabled people. Even though I'm in a wheelchair myself, I have no disabled friends and actively avoid becoming involved in the disabled community. I think this stems from a desire to feel normal, and that might play a role in what the OP is feeling.

If they are stealth and never mention it in public, I'm fine with it.  If they are super open in public about it, I don't want to associate, or hang out with them.  I have a friend who is trans but he is stealth and we only talk about things regarding our medical history in private. 

It really depends on the personality of the guy.

I can think of two people I recently met - surprisingly they both live somewhat close to me.

One is several years into his transition but is very vocal about things. I told him I wanted to keep things quiet about me and while he never actually outed me, he has made some comments in public that people could have heard..that kind of thing surely made me uncomfortable.

There's another guy I know who likes to (often) talk about the girl's jeans he wears. I never see the point of why he brings it up. It's kind of like I'm a man, GRRR! But look at these jeans, I bought them in the girl's department, I'm not trying to make fun of this person but he has said such things..He lets people call him his birth name& use female pronouns while I stick to his male name and pronouns. It's definitely uncomfortable for me. I really don't care what clothes people wear but..he always wants to bring it up when I don't care to talk about clothing..

There's one other guy I met awhile back though he always acted like I was much younger than him& therefore didn't know as much about trans-things. I was put off by it.

I think if I met a trans man whose personality I fit with, I'd be fine.

I think I'm better off with those born anatomically male or stealth-y guys as most times I don't want to think about being trans anymore than necessary..and the guys I've met thus far want to bring it up often.

Quote from: Jayr on August 15, 2012, 11:45:17 AM
I've only met one other trans person in my life so far; she was a complete bitch.

Made fun of me, and made my blood boil.
All I wanted to do was knock her in the damn face and point out everything about her that was manly
just so she'd feel as dysphoric as she made me feel...

But I was at work, so I nicely took all the insults she had to throw at me...

-

Right now, my girlfriend is the only trans individual I'd hang out with.

*cough* and Jason(JasonRX). :3

I'm pretty much the opposite of what a lot of people have posted here. I don't feel awkward at all around other trans people. I actually feel more comfortable around them. However, I didn't really like the few times I've been around "stealth" types irl (which is rare since they seem to avoid the lgbt community). The whole mentality of "wanting to be 'normal'" and that there's something wrong with being trans irritates me and makes me feel like I should be disgusted with myself or something. So I guess, again, the opposite of this thread in that I prefer to be around trans people who are either "out and proud" or who are comfortable with themselves as trans people.

Quote from: Berserk on August 15, 2012, 05:58:02 PM
I'm pretty much the opposite of what a lot of people have posted here. I don't feel awkward at all around other trans people. I actually feel more comfortable around them. However, I didn't really like the few times I've been around "stealth" types irl (which is rare since they seem to avoid the lgbt community). The whole mentality of "wanting to be 'normal'" and that there's something wrong with being trans irritates me and makes me feel like I should be disgusted with myself or something. So I guess, again, the opposite of this thread in that I prefer to be around trans people who are either "out and proud" or who are comfortable with themselves as trans people.

I don't see why.  I'm comfortable with myself, but I don't want to go around having conversations about my medical history or letting it be known to others what my medical history happens to be.

Quote from: Berserk on August 15, 2012, 05:58:02 PM
I'm pretty much the opposite of what a lot of people have posted here. I don't feel awkward at all around other trans people. I actually feel more comfortable around them. However, I didn't really like the few times I've been around "stealth" types irl (which is rare since they seem to avoid the lgbt community). The whole mentality of "wanting to be 'normal'" and that there's something wrong with being trans irritates me and makes me feel like I should be disgusted with myself or something. So I guess, again, the opposite of this thread in that I prefer to be around trans people who are either "out and proud" or who are comfortable with themselves as trans people.

In my opinion, a trans person who "out and proud" is just as annoying as someone who constantly goes on about what exactly is in their pants. I think it's silly and don't know how having the wrong parts is something to ever be proud of. It's kind of like a guy pointing out how huge his penis is all of the time just so he can draw some attention to himself.

I go to a trans center. My counselor is a transguy. I feel pretty comfortable there, but I haven't socialized with transguys. Many of them are younger than I am, so I wouldn't have all that much in common, but I enjoy hanging around at the center.

I've only gone out once in the general public. There were about 10 of us (also a transgal or two) from the center at a city event. No one pointed anyone out. I felt totally fine with it. But it would have been awkward if anyone pointed anyone out or outed anyone. I am not "out" as trans. So I guess I figured no one else is.

--Jay Jay

Online I'm okay talking to other people who are trans, but I could never do it in real life without feeling uncomfortable. I want to be stealth, I don't want people to know. I feel like if I associate with other trans people, I will be disrespected and outed and people will associate me with them when I just want to be left alone.

It's interesting that most people here are uncomfortable being around "out and proud" trans guys, yet those people are obviously around.  Makes me wonder if they feel the need to talk about being trans a lot in real life because they don't have somewhere online like here to talk about it.

I'm actually dating a trans guy right now.  He's pre T and out.  Tbh sometimes both of those facts bother me, but I really care about him so I've learned to look past it.  He does plan on getting on T very soon which we are both happy about.  I wonder if he'll be more private about his trans status as he begins to pass better.  I'm really not sure and I don't know if he knows either.

It's mostly in public when I'm uncomfortable talking about his trans stuff.  I don't discuss my medical history in public unless it's very subtle and/or I know no one else will hear or understand.

Going to trans meet ups and making friends with trans people is very difficult for me.  I think as long as the person was "stealth" and didn't discuss it in public, I wouldn't have an issue being around them. 

Quote from: Alex000000 on August 15, 2012, 08:18:53 PM
It's interesting that most people here are uncomfortable being around "out and proud" trans guys, yet those people are obviously around.  Makes me wonder if they feel the need to talk about being trans a lot in real life because they don't have somewhere online like here to talk about it.

No, that's not it all. I live with and have lived with other trans people both currently and in the past. I actively seek out trans community irl because I'm far more comfortable around that community. In fact, I feel more comfortable there than online community because trans community irl tends to be more trans-positive. I started participating in trans forums online just because I'm used to internet forums (for other purposes) and also find it a good place if I want to ask about something that I don't feel like bringing up in a random discussion with trans friends/acquaintances irl, since I find its more likely to find a variety of suggestions and reviews online than asking one or two people irl.

I also wonder about this stereotype floating around here about trans people who are "out" and not wanting to live stealth constantly talking about "what's in their pants" and trans stuff in general. It's so unrealistic its almost funny. To me when I talk about people who are "out and proud" I'm talking about activists or people involved in the trans/queer community in some way.

Quote from: Andy8715 on August 15, 2012, 06:16:42 PM
I don't see why.  I'm comfortable with myself, but I don't want to go around having conversations about my medical history or letting it be known to others what my medical history happens to be.

I guess it depends on what you see as your "medical history." I don't see being trans so much as my "medical history" as my personal history and a part of who I am. It's a part of my identity as a person. Does that mean I'm going to go to the grocery store and shout it out for all to hear for no particular reason? No. But I will participate in community and help further trans awareness and rights where I can, and I certainly won't hide it and try to pretend to be cis when the subject comes up. I personally despise this whole cis as "healthy and normal" and trans as a "disorder" thing. That's why I am uncomfortable around "stealth" trans people irl when the occasion does arise.

Quote from: JasonRX on August 15, 2012, 06:35:14 PM
In my opinion, a trans person who "out and proud" is just as annoying as someone who constantly goes on about what exactly is in their pants. I think it's silly and don't know how having the wrong parts is something to ever be proud of. It's kind of like a guy pointing out how huge his penis is all of the time just so he can draw some attention to himself.

Uh yeah, you're analogy makes little sense whatsoever. Being trans and out about it has nothing to do with informing the world about "what exactly is in their pants." A lot of trans and intersexed activism is about denormalizing the cis myth.

If being trans wasn't a disorder, or medical we wouldn't be using surgery and hormones and going through doctors to treat it.

Every day at Susans I read "If someone has a problem with who I am, or how I present, it is THEIR problem." It seems to apply here as well.

I actually don't hang out with too many trans men and the other day I hung out with this cool trans guy. He did make me feel dysphoric (unfortunately) as many trans men seem to do without intending to. It was a matter of where he was physically in his transition vs amount of time on hormones compared to my situation.

Quote from: Berserk on August 15, 2012, 08:43:27 PM


Uh yeah, you're analogy makes little sense whatsoever. Being trans and out about it has nothing to do with informing the world about "what exactly is in their pants." A lot of trans and intersexed activism is about denormalizing the cis myth.

Actually, being "trans proud" has everything to do with sex organs and breaking the norm of what is expected of what's normally in the pants of that gender role. Anyway, it is just my opinion though and your response with "uh yeah" at the beginning is kind of rude and unwarranted.

Quote from: JasonRX on August 15, 2012, 06:35:14 PM
I think it's silly and don't know how having the wrong parts is something to ever be proud of.

That particular way of describing it was jarring for me. I probably would have said something like "parts that are out of alignment with societal expectations for one's perceived gender" instead of "wrong". Wrong is very subjective.