due to all the infections and medical problems i have encountered after my trip to thialand and followoing my DR's advise here i am now

completely unable to dialate i cannot fit the smallest dialtor in even with alot of lube and pressure. Their is blood everywhere when i try.

is their anything at all i can do any suggestions would very much be appreciated.

I'm so sorry Mandy 

I am so sorry, Mandy. 

Maybe apply to the Jim Collins Foundation for a revision from an American doctor.

You can not even get a finger into it?

Hola Mandy

yes there is much you can do, i have suffered verry similar during my recovery and came out fine in the end. The first thing to know is you have no closed but it is the pelvic muscle they cut that is causing issues especially early in recovery

can you get a finger in lubed?

the next thing, if oyu are having issues with the smallest dilator even you need to improve the dilator set you own. get a set of this
http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

they go to a verry small size then work up to as big almost to the set you already should own, make sure to get this set as soon as you can it is most important to dilate again. have you also been dilating since surgery??

try this also, get a nice warm relaxing bath and lay in it for atleast 30mins making sure to relax as much as you are able, now work back a finger into the vaginal opening and keep doing this. also try the smallest dilator to see if relaxation has been helping. keep trying and trying until you get into the vagina again.

Pls rememebr it is the mucsle causing the friction in the first 2 inch of the opening and causing the most resistance mine used to literally bounce back out it was verry scary time for me.

when oyu own the small set, get to work atleast 3 times a day, work the small one to open a passage then get the 2nd, keep doing this until it begins to stretch and if you keep at this i can assure you it will work but you must never stop, the longer you spend non dilating the tigher you will become

i appolgise for my instructions being random but i hope this is making sense

as for blood i had bleeding for months and months it is good to be careful but also it does no always mean it is caused by dilation, i was a complete mess for what seem the longest time but i beleive you will get through this you have to rememebr there is much healing going on inside and for sometime to come

relaxation of the muscle is the goal, then opening the vagina slow but sure to maintain depth and then to work back the sizer bigger and bigger

my hopes go with you

There is the option of dilation under anesthesia but would kinda have to have some way of paying for it (Medicaid?), other then that only thing I can think of is a #0 (extra small width) dilator so that there is less pain and more (umm) recovery.

did you try using a finger Mandy or has anything change since you post?

This situation is sad that I was lying in bed last night wondering what I would do in Mandy's case. This might be a little extreme but I might decide to go public and try to find a sympathetic member of the press to publicize this case. Sadly, it is a tragic story but because it is so tragic, it is also newsworthy. Going public might accomplish two things: first, it would warn others to avoid this particular surgeon and, secondly, it would provide a springboard to perhaps set up a fund to raise money to correct this.

i put lube all over my finger and tried to relax as much as i could. GOD i wish i could take a bath it would feel so good but i have been told not too(not by dr but just friends)take a bath that it. i was able with some severe discomfort to get my finger all the way in i just pushed it as far as it would go and let it sit for 15min like i would dialating. maybe this will help until sept 7 when i get my first pay check and can order the vaginalstenus kit from that website for $49.95

A couple ideas come to mind.

Instead of holding your finger in one place, you might want to try stretching the ring of muscle at the entrance. Stretching
and working 2 fingers.  You are going to need to put some hard and probably painful work into regaining depth.

You mentioned holding your finger in place for 15 minutes.  I would reccommend much longer sessions.  I was a
patient of Dr Suporn, his dilation schedule called for 30 minute session.  But the important thing in timing your session
is that the 30 minutes doesn't start till reach full depth with a medium dilator.  I always liked to start with a finger for
5 minutes, then the small dilator for 10 minutes at depth, then the medium and if it took 10 minutes to get that to
depth so be it..... the 30 minutes doesn't start till you are at depth with the medium dilator.

Another suggestion is to get down to a hardware store, the kitchen aisle of the supermarket.... get creative.  There
has to be something that you can use to dilate with.  You could put a candle inside a condom, a piece of wood dowel with
a little sanding, some varnish and put it inside a condom.... There has to be something. 

You cannot afford to sit back and wait until Sept 7!  If you are going to regain your depth, you need to be working hard everyday! Starting today!  Serious business!  It is not to extreme to think you should be dilating at least 4 to 5 hours a day.

You are the only one that can do this.  Nobody is going to dilate for you.  You can do it! 

Best Wishes,
Elaina

UK surgeons stress the use of Betadine douches for the first few weeks to keep things healthy so forget the baths and the superdildo and concentrate of letting the rawedges heal up while sticking to gentle well lubed use of your natural middle and ring fingers to get both depth and width.

Spray the outside and as far inside as you can with your shower head, douche with Betadine, and then relax and have a gentle dilation with fingers until all the pain and bleeding has stopped. 

This may take quite a few weeks

This is the stuff my surgeon sends patients home with despite the website saying it is for external use - but how many external mucus membranes do poeple have?

http://www.betadine.com/for_hospitals.aspx

Yes

that was my point also, to work the muscle because that and the post op swelling is the worst enemgy at the moment, the finger is just to create a passage so the dilator can pass though. This is what work for me when i was closing up

All of Elaina advice is correct, it is the most important thing you can be doing right now and this will define how the surgery ends up. The body is fighting to close you up you are fighting to stay open and will for sometime to come

http://www.temptationsdirect.co.uk/x/10459/Buy/Devils-Horn-Mini-Vibrator.html

http://www.temptationsdirect.co.uk/x/10129/Buy/Classic-LadyFinger.html

these are a nice little shape and long enough to get the muscle to open up.  nice smooth end to find its way in.

and cheap.  you will pay in dollars what we pay in pounds.

Thank you all you have given me hope that maybe one day i regain function. i am going to try to use some drum sticks i have from a concert i went to in the 80's(tommy lee is good for something i guess). I am sitting here laughing at the sanding and varish for my dialator but it really got me thinking and i will try to do everything i can i dont want to give up on this it is the only thought on my mind with every waking moment so i am giving it all i can. I called DR Meltzer, and Michelle in his office talked to me for awhile and told me to just keep trying and a little blood is ok just dont give up it has only been 2.5 weeks since last full depth dialation so i have a better chance of getting it back now then if i waited longer.

i will post updates as soon as i can...

I love you all, you the people from susans have been my real caregivers.

mandy

Sweetie, not sure sanded and varnished drumsticks will the best of ideas here ... they might not be the best to keep sterile clean, and so might get you back into 'infection territory'...

I would not use them - even though I'm well healed inside.

Not to spoil your enthusiasm, sorry...

Axélle

Quote from: Axélle on August 18, 2012, 03:39:17 AM
Sweetie, not sure sanded and varnished drumsticks will the best of ideas here ... they might not be the best to keep sterile clean, and so might get you back into 'infection territory'...

I would not use them - even though I'm well healed inside.

Not to spoil your enthusiasm, sorry...

Axélle

The suggestion was to use these item inside a condom.... as opposed to not dilating.

Quote from: Elainagirl59 on August 18, 2012, 11:41:13 AM

The suggestion was to use these item inside a condom.... as opposed to not dilating.

Hum, ever tried to have a drum-stick (not one from a chicken!) put inside a condom?!

The proverbial "hot-dog thrown down the hallway..."

And it makes me wonder...
Axxx

Good News Update 

last night i went to exocita which is a adult book store and purchased the smallest vibrator i could find it was called "Harry Potters Wand" by the staff and i. This little device is 5" long and .48" diameter purple with werid symbols all over it. When i got home i couldnt wait to try this out but i knew patience is a virtue so i took it real slow and layed down and got fully relaxed. When i initally inserted i could go about and inch and no father seemed possible. Then for no reason known to myself i hit the vibrate button. Now remember i was very liberal with the lube as i wanted to make sure all worked out good. As soon as i pushed the button it felt like it went in a little more and let me tell it went ALL the way in fast to the point i thought i might swallow it whole! i was so happy i just sat their and let it buzz away for full 30minutes. Taking it out was a little painful after pulling it out a little i got some resistance from some muscle or tissue? it came right over this and all the way but their was a sharp pain moment. I was so excited i had to call Beth right away and let her know... i have been doing 30minutes every 2 hours and since and everything seems to be going ok except the exit that is still painful and has not gone down any at all.

glad i didnt have to use my drum sticks :-)

the resistance is the muscle and thats what you'll have to stretch and keep stretched.
it does seem to relax of its own accord once it gets used to lots of slippery lube being introduced.
I'm not sure if its the same reflex as a natural vagina but who cares.

stick with the little vibrator for a few weeks until everything is well and truly healed up and then get one a bit bigger.  Try to resist the urge to buy the WHOPPA with the big end.

This is wonderful news Mandy

now you can perhap stop worrying more about actually being closed just keep doing what works

it will hurt for sometime whatever anyone say srs is traumatic surgery to turn it from what was once there into a fully working female organ is anything but cosmetic and easy but you are learning fast and that can only help you get past this

well done it really made me happy to read you replies just keep dilating and challenging the size and it will get much better

I was going to make a recommendation about inflatable vaginal plugs (the ones that are small but can be expanded when they are inside) as an easy way to progress, but I'd rather not. I've found that they can be quite dangerous and cause bleeding if not used properly. The rubber they use is not very kind to the skin and they can trap skin while inflating.