All I can say is... Try. If you can speak in that pitch, you should be able to cough and clear your throat in the same pitch. Try in the shower. Everything voice related tends to be easier there. Once you get the feeling of it by doing it once or twice, it should be easy.
Because, well. I noticed, clearing your throat, be it with an "ahem" or a cough, generally clears the very area of pitch you made that sound in. I've been having annoying voice issues (specialist in two weeks!) and often my whole upper register (the kind I would mostly use to cry, moan, sigh or sing a rather high-pitched song) gets locked away from me. Pretty much all my voice can be affected, but rarely the whole voice at once, and the "soprano range" so to say is the most favoured victim.
It's rare, but when I manage to "cure" it, it's by making an exceptionally high-pitched cough or such, removing that insidious something that was blocking my vocal cords.
The bottom line - if you speak in a woman's voice, your coughs and throat clearings should sound that way, because that's the only way you'll effectively clear that area of your voice. It should come naturally, eventually.
As for crying... It's harder, I'll admit, because it's a mostly involuntary action, and for many, a relatively rare activity. But once again, once you get the feeling, it's easy. No, rather, it becomes the only way you cry in, leaving you wondering how and why you could ever have sounded so silly when you cried. My cries are pretty high-pitched, and even when my higher pitches are unavailable, it doesn't come out boyish, it comes out mute.
I won't comment on the morality of your crying habits. ^^'
